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GA review

[edit]

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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 03:51, 4 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·


@Vacant0: 7-day hold to make the following:

  • Various copy changes, mostly on comma usage
  • Remove/replace RealityViews which may have copied from us in the past and doesn't look reliable
  • Run IAbot again
  • Add alt text to the two images outside the infobox

@Vacant0: Passing as the changes have been made. Sammi Brie (she/her • tc) 22:40, 4 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Copy changes

[edit]

Lead

[edit]
  • Its development began after the Microsoft co-founder and spearhead of Windows 1.0, Bill Gates, saw a demonstration of a similar software suite, Visi On at COMDEX in 1982. There should be a comma after Visi On
  • Add a comma after "very little software" and another after "Windows 2.0"

Development history

[edit]
  • Remove the comma after "RAM" and "system calls"
  • Remove the comma after "software companies"
  • Add comma after "Windows' history" which should be "Windows's history"
  • Remove comma after January 1985. Grammar note from me: if you can remove ", and" and split a sentence in two with both halves working, there should be a comma (or no conjunction and a semicolon). If you can't, there shouldn't be a comma. "Was replaced by Steve Ballmer" is not a complete sentence.
  • Comma after 1.02 (this is an appositive and needs to be set off with commas at both ends)
  • 3.5 inch: add hyphen for adjective
  • Remove comma after "floppies"

Features

[edit]
  • Comparing to MS-DOS: use "compared"
  • Remove comma after "although"
  • Initially, Puzzle and Chess were supposed to appear as playable video games, although Microsoft scrapped the idea and instead, — replace the and with a semicolon. That is a point where the sentence has a natural split between two independent sentences.
  • Comma after built-in application
  • The version 1.02 introduced drivers for European keyboards, screen and print drivers. This sentence confuses me. It shouldn't start with "the". Were the drivers it introduced for printers and screens or just European printers? Potential ways to format this depending on the meaning:
  • Version 1.02 introduced drivers for European keyboards, as well as screen and print drivers.
  • Version 1.02 introduced drivers for European keyboards, as well as for screens and printers.
  • Version 1.02 introduced drivers for European hardware, including keyboards, screens, and printers.

Reception

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  • The commas in this sentence are not needed: Critics considered the platform to have future potential, but that Windows 1.0 had not fulfilled expectations, and that it could not compete with Apple's GUI operating system. I'd also add a "felt" before "that Windows 1.0".

Source spot checks

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  • Ref 6 (InfoWorld 11/21/1983): Supports all four of its uses.
  • Ref 16 (ZDNet 2015): Supports the two uses.
  • Ref 21 (CBR 1987): Supports its lone use.
  • Ref 38 (TechRadar 2022): Supports its lone use.
  • Ref 50 (NetworkWorld 2010): Contains the used quote which is faithfully reproduced.

Other items

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  • Earwig flags a content mill reusing Wikipedia content, wcsa.world. It also flags one of the references (18), realityviews.in (which doesn't look very reliable, tbh). That worries me as a possible circular reference to ourselves, indirectly. Consider each use of reference 18 and whether it can be replaced.
  • Consider archiving references.
  • Images: There is one PD-logo, two fair use screenshots, and one no-copyright brochure cover, which are all acceptable. Neither of the two images outside the infobox have alt text; this should be added, even if it's just "Refer to caption".