Jump to content

User:HandsomeSquidward311/Food Apartheid/Jordanshie Peer Review

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

General info

[edit]
Whose work are you reviewing?

HandsomeSquidward311

Link to draft you're reviewing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:HandsomeSquidward311/Food_Apartheid?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
doesn't exist

Evaluate the drafted changes

[edit]

Hello! I like the article you are creating and the progress you have so far. I think your headers are a great start, especially interested to read what you write in redlining.

The history of minority groups heading have a lot of potential as well.

I like your start for the description of food apartheid. I do think you could create a more concise first sentence, as it is the firth thing that people read on a good search. The description is great, just needs a strong intro for an initial search.

I like the source you include, but following wikis suggestions I think you should try to include more sources

Overall, great job!