User talk:Natemford
Need to move this stub from your user page to Wikipedia before Tuesday deadline. Transatlanticnomad (talk) 23:53, 13 November 2010 (UTC)
Mansfield Library Revisions
[edit]"Dear Dsetay, Thank you for your help in making this page more informational, I truly appreciate it. Regarding the revisions I made, (that you added again), I still think that they are repetitive. The fact that the library houses the earliest Leiws and Clark Records, that it was named in honor of Mike Mansfield, and that it was built in 78 are all stated in the opening paragraph. I am creating this page as a final project for one of my classes and my teacher was the one to point out the repetition. Please let me know what yo think we could do to make this sound less repetitive and more fluid. (Now the word repetitive is beginning to sound repetitive to me!) Thanks."
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[edit]Nate:
No problem with the help. I noticed awhile back that UM's wikipedia presence has been lacking and have devoted my free time the past several months to at least having the shell there so that other people can collaborate to add information as you are doing.
In regards to your comments:
- The repetitiveness
- I have noticed that, in general, the lead-in paragraph is more of an abstract for Wikipedia articles than an introduction. If anything, I think that the date of the center being named after Mansfield should stay in the body and be removed from the lead. I did not notice the double comment about the Lewis & Clark journals. That could probably be removed from one or the other unless a special section was made for them with the available information. I'll leave that to your discretion.