Fun with Veal

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"Fun with Veal"
South Park episode
Episode no. Season 6
Episode 4
Directed by Trey Parker
Written by Trey Parker
Production code 605
Original air date March 27, 2002
Episode chronology
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South Park (season 6)
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"Fun with Veal" is the 4th episode of the sixth season of the animated television series South Park, and the 83rd episode of the series overall. It was originally aired in the United States on Comedy Central on March 27, 2002. This episode is rated TV-MA in the United States, except on syndicated broadcasts, where the episode is censored and is rated TV-14, instead.


Ms. Choksondik's fourth grade class goes on a field trip to a farm, where they discover that veal is made of baby cows. The boys are horrified (except Cartman, who joyously claims that they look so delicious and juicy), and decide to save the calves from becoming veal. Stan, Kyle, and Butters convince Cartman to help them rescue the calves and bring them to Stan's house. Cartman doesn't want to however unless Kyle kisses his butt; Kyle reluctantly does so, but gets farted on. Frustrated, Kyle attacks him and he joins the others to rescue the calves via Cartman's Mission Impossible Breaking and Entering play-set. When they are discovered by their parents the next morning, the boys barricade the door until they are promised the calves will be safe.

The situation quickly escalates into a standoff between the boys (who are declared terrorists), and the police. They live off some food smuggled in by Ms. Cartman, which contains beef jerky and fried chicken. While most of the group eagerly eats this food, Stan does not, as his reason for doing the deed extends far beyond just protecting the calves. Cartman happily feeds some of the jerky to one of the calves which Kyle notes as "messed up." Stan, being devoted to the calves, becomes a vegetarian, and eats only apples. Cartman makes fun of this, saying "if you don't eat meat, you become a pussy." Later, Stan comes down with a strange illness, and develops sores on his face.

The boys now have to deal with a professional FBI negotiator, but this task goes straight to Cartman. The Negotiator proves no match for Cartman's powers of manipulation, and he negotiates for guns and ammunition in return for a calf. When the boys get the guns, Kyle and Butters skillfully assemble them in the background while Cartman further manipulates the negotiator for an ICBM. He gets the FDA to change the term for veal to "tortured baby cow", and negotiates for a cattle truck driven by Michael Dorn. Furthermore, Dorn is forced into full Worf makeup and must call Cartman 'Captain'. He is to drive everyone to the airport so they can escape to Mexico, despite being reluctant to do so. All of this, without handing over a single calf. The negotiator, due to giving to these ludicrous demands, is promptly fired.

Despite a double cross by the FBI (in which the getaway truck is rigged with balloons underneath that inflate and prevent the truck from moving), the calves are saved, as there is now no market for "little tortured baby cow". Stan has to go to the hospital; it turns out Cartman was correct about the results of not eating meat when Stan's doctor explains that the sores on his face were actually vaginas, which would have turned him into a giant pussy. Later, everyone agrees to go out for hamburgers, before being grounded (Except for Cartman).

Cultural references[edit]


In the original Comedy Central and Comedy Network broadcasts, the doctor says that if Stan Marsh wasn't treated for his vaginitis, he would turn into "a giant pussy." Syndicated broadcasts re-dub the line with "giant vagina" (although the doctors lips still read "giant pussy").

A shot of a calf peeing and another calf defacating on Stan's floor is edited out in syndicated airings.

When Butters tells his dad to suck his "Fat one" (his penis), "Fat one" is bleeped out in syndicated re-runs, similar to what happened in "City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)".


  1. ^ "South Park Studios". 2007-10-10. Retrieved 2007-10-10. [dead link]
  2. ^ "Michael Dorn Interview". 2006-12-11. Retrieved 2007-10-10. 

External links[edit]