Talk:Ashokan Edicts in Delhi/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 18:39, 17 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • The lead needs to start off by telling us what the edicts are, not where they are or what type they are.
    • The lead has been modfied to reflect the background, purpose and meaning of the edicts
  • There are two images in the infobox, but only one caption. To which of the images does it apply? Why two images anyway?
    • The two images are pictures taken from different directions of the same pillar over the ruined palace. The original image is from the 'On Line gallery of the British Library' and taken from a collection of an album consisting of 89 folios. The original painting had the two pictures in one page which has not been cropped.
  • The caption under the map says "Location within India Delhi", but what does that mean? Is the map showing the location of Delhi within India, or the location of the edicts within Delhi?
    • Yes. It is an infobox template which automatically displays in that form. The map is specific to Delhi, the capital of India. This was added by User: Dr. Blofeld subsequently as an improvement when he edited the text. The original image in the box was a Map of India, which showed the location in India.
Its an infobox malfunction in that it reads the pin map name for a caption. Dr. Blofeld White cat 09:52, 25 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He created a series of edicts on teachings of Buddha on Dhamma." As Dhamma is described as a language in the next sentence, should this be "in Dhamma"?
    • Dhamma means Buddhist teachings written in Prakrit language and is also known as Dharma in Sanskrit. However, now this usage has been replaced by Buddhism in the article. The inscriptions were meant to propogate the teachings of the Buddha, which lead to enlightenment (The Universal law of nature) and the constituent factors of the experienced world (The characteristic of elements), wwhich Ashkoa propogated in his empire.
  • "The teachings of Dhamma were either carved on in-situ rocks or engraved on stone pillars made of sandstone and then transported and erected in various places in the empire to spread the message of Dhamma." Similarly, if Dhamma is a language, then what does "the teachings of Buddha on Dhamma" mean?
    • Dhamma has been chnaged to Buddhism
  • How many of these (14?) edicts are in Delhi? Why is the focus of this article on those in Delhi, instead of the edicts in general?
    • There is a separate article on Edicts of Ashoka. Two edicts were erected during Ashoka’s period at Meerut and Ambala, which were shifted to Delhi by the Muslim Ruler in the 14th century to embellish his kingdom's capital Feruzabad which is the present day Delhi. The focus on Delhi is because it is the capital of India and more people visit the place to see this historically rich city. In fact, the rock edits found in Delhi in 1966 links the history of Delhi to the Ashokan period of 3rd century BC
History
  • "Prior to the 3rd century BC a large independent region was ruled by Chandragupta Maurya ...". A large region of where?
    • First few Sentences improved, also specifying the limits of the region as the “Indian subcontinent.” The linked article gives detailed maps also indicating extent of Mauryan Empire's rule at different periods.
  • "After the Kalinga War in 261 BC, which he won but with immense loss of life, to quote from his own inscriptions it accounted to, '150,000 people were forcibly abducted from their homes, 100,000 were killed in battle, and many more died later on'". This doesn't really make sense. After the Kalinga War then what?
    • Modified now. He gave up his war campaigns. He became a Buddhist and embarked on propogating Buddhism through his edicts. This sentence has been modified to convey the purpose of Ashoka giving up his war campaings and embracing Buddhism.
  • "Even a hundredth or a thousandth part only of the people who were slain, or killed or abducted in Kalinga is now considered as a grievous loss by Devanmpiya {beloved of the Gods, i.e., Ashoka". What's with that curly bracket?
    • An oversight error. Bracket removed.
Edicts
  • "Ashokan edicts have special significance in view of the message they convey." So what is this message?
    • They convey the message of Buddha’s teachings. This has been reflected in the lead and also in this section.
  • This section needs to focus on the edicts in Delhi, not the edicts in general, which presumably would warrant their own article.
    • There is a very large article on Edicts of Ashoka. This covevrage is meant only as a summary to give a background. I have now provided a link to the original article and also abridged the text in this section.
Gallery
Notes
  • It would be clearer to separate the notes and citations into two separate sub-sections.
    • Book references have been separated and page numbers are specified with notes wherever required in the text. I hope it meets your observations
References
  • Why are some of the sources (Flood, Bhandarkar) listed in the References section , but others (Sharma, Peck, etc.) listed in the Notes section?
    • Modfied now.
Thanks for the review observations. I saw this only today. I will comply with the observations and reply in the next two days.
    • I have replied to the obseravations below each observation. I have changed the title of the article to Ashokan Edicts in Delhi as per the observation made by User:Johnbod on the article's talk page. I hope it is ok with you. I have tried to comply with all your observations. Please let me know what more changes are to be done. Thanks for the precise observations. Sorry about my signature. It is not registering properly. My complaint on the help page has not been helpful so far.--Nvvchar 14:12, 24 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm afraid that I'm going to close this review as "not listed", as there are still innumerable problems with this article. I'll list a few:
Lead
  • The lead still doesn't clearly explain the subject of this article. It needs to tell us, for instance, that the article is about the one in-situ stone edict and the two pillar edicts, if indeed I've correctly understood what the article is saying.
References
  • Take a look at refs #10, 15, 16, 21, 23 ....
Transportation techniques
  • I can hardly make sense of this section. It talks about the transport of a truncated pillar from Khizrabad to Delhi, but the article has earlier told us that the two pillars in Delhi came from Meerut and Ambala.
  • "The transportation of the pillar was highly demanding, requiring soldiers (both cavalry and foot) to pitch in with all tools and tackles to transport it to Delhi." Was the transportation done by the military alone, or did they just help?
  • "The square base stone was placed at the base of the pillar before the task was completed." What task?
Notes
  • "A glorious chapter to Delhi’s history was added as recently as 1966 ...". This hyperbole definitely comes under the heading of peacock language.
  • Why are there two curly brackets after notes #1, #3 and #5?
  • It would be preferable to separate the notes and citations in two separate subsections.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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