Talk:Doreen Valiente/Archive 1

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Archive 1

error

"After investigating the Wiccan tradition of Charles Cardell, in 1953 she was initiated into Raymond Howard's Coven of Atho."

There is an error here. The initation into the Coven of Atho was not 1953. I understand it was 1963. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 46.233.116.134 (talk) 16:12, 20 August 2016 (UTC)

Death

Here it says She died in 1999 and in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gardnerian_Wicca it says 2000. Which of those is true?

This is. She died on Sept 1 1999 [1] Paul B 16:54, 3 October 2005 (UTC)

Do we have permission to use this? —Ashley Y 12:00, 2004 Aug 10 (UTC)

Picture?

Can we find a Fair Use Image of Valiente? Sephiroth storm (talk) 14:30, 15 September 2008 (UTC)

Cite error

Sorry all, I've committed a cite error, and don't know how to correct it. Valetude (talk) 21:01, 1 December 2015 (UTC)

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Doreen Valiente/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:01, 28 April 2016 (UTC)


Hi! Will post my comments over the next few days. Sainsf <^>Feel at home 06:01, 28 April 2016 (UTC)

Many thanks, Sainsf! Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:33, 28 April 2016 (UTC)

Fairly well-written and comprehensive. My comments:

Lead
  • (4 January 1922 – 1 September 1999) I think unspaced endash is used in such cases.
  • Subsequently becoming the High Priestess of Gardner's Bricket Wood coven when?
  • The sources that I looked at do not provide a specific date, but reveal that it was fairly soon after her initiation; whether that means 1953, 1954, or even 1955 isn't clear though. I've changed "subsequently" to "soon" in the article lede. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:17, 2 May 2016 (UTC)
  • although later broke from this group I think there should be "she" before "later".
  • I think we should add a few words on how she passed away.
  • magical partner The meaning may not been clear at once, though I can't suggest any alternative at the moment.
  • Hmm, you raise a good point. I might just remove "magical partner" at this juncture and replace it with "friend"; do you think that that works? Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:17, 2 May 2016 (UTC)
  • The meaning is slightly different, but Belham-Payne was both her friend and magical partner. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:44, 3 May 2016 (UTC)
Early life 1922–52
  • Colliers Wood is linked twice
  • although Doreen was never baptised "although" should be replaced by "however", I think.
  • left at the age of 15 Better say she left "it", it may suddenly appear she left home.
  • message decryption May be good to have a link here.
  • known only as "Zerki" "only"? It may strike as odd unless we know the reason of its use.
  • she selected "Ameth" as her magical name What exactly is a "magical name"?
  • Link esoteric.
Gerald Gardner and the Bricket Wood Coven 1952–57
  • in 1952 Valiente wrote a letter to Williamson "Valiente wrote a letter to Williamson in 1952" would look better.
  • Middle Ages may be linked
  • Gardner invited Doreen again You refer to her as Valiente elsewhere.
  • of which they would not have approved Just to ensure it does not look like OR, can we say "... of which, she feared, they..." ?
    Changed. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:53, 2 May 2016 (UTC)
  • Isle of Man is a duplink
Robert Cochrane and Where Witchcraft Lives 1957–69
  • while she also have a speech Error?
  • Who is Doyle White?
    He is already mentioned and his position described at the end of the "Gerald Gardner and the Bricket Wood Coven: 1952–57" section. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:43, 2 May 2016 (UTC)
  • L'Estrange Ewen is a redlink, can you give an idea of who the person was?
  • He was a historian of witchcraft, I shall make that clear in the prose. 21:39, 2 May 2016 (UTC)
  • it was never published Maybe add "however"? Any idea why it was not published?
  • I've added the "however" and added a brief explanation of why it wasn't published. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:39, 2 May 2016 (UTC)
  • suicide at Midsummer 1966 I think it should be "on" not "at".
  • Duplinks: Midsummer, Sussex, Margaret Murray
The Pagan Front, National Front, and further publications 1970–84
  • Wiccan high priestess Sally Griffyn Should it be "High Priestess" as earlier?
  • Valiente biographer Perhaps "Valiente's" would sound more proper.
Autobiography and final years 1985–1999
  • Duplinks: Pagan Federation, Alex Sanders, Ronald Hutton
  • It would be published by Hale Anything more on Hale? Where is it based? May be relevant here.
  • Hale is already discussed in the section on "The Pagan Front, National Front, and further publications: 1970–84" so I'm not sure that it is necessary to go into further depth here. However I'm happy to discuss this in greater depth if you like. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:18, 2 May 2016 (UTC)
  • grief stricken Hyphen?
    Added. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:14, 2 May 2016 (UTC)
  • the historian Ronald Hutton You have been referring to him as Hutton after you introduced him.
    Changed. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:14, 2 May 2016 (UTC)
Personality and personal life
  • Do we need to link football?
  • I've changed the link to association football. I think that this may be necessary given that in the United States and other parts of the world, "football" is a term used for different sports. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:33, 2 May 2016 (UTC)
  • This section hardly discusses her personal life, which is described in her biography above. This can simply be named as "Personality"
Reception and legacy
  • You can say CPS instead of Centre for Pagan Studies.

@Midnightblueowl: That should be it. These addressed, I would be happy to promote this article. Cheers! Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:11, 1 May 2016 (UTC)

Many thanks Sainsf! Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:55, 2 May 2016 (UTC)
Thanks for the changes. The one remaining point done, I would be happy to promote this. Cheers, Sainsf (talk · contribs) 01:43, 3 May 2016 (UTC)
Sorted. Thanks again Sainsf! Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:44, 3 May 2016 (UTC)
This is ready for promotion, then. Great job! Sainsf (talk · contribs) 16:01, 3 May 2016 (UTC)
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