Talk:Krrish/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: --Vinay84 (talk) 11:38, 24 September 2009 (UTC)

First Opinions, there are some citation and clarify Tags. Please resolve them

--Vinay84 (talk) 11:50, 24 September 2009 (UTC)

Just glancing though, there are numerous grammatical errors that need to be fixed. Ophois (talk) 16:35, 24 September 2009 (UTC)

The introduction section is to have information already in the main body of article and hence, info not in main body (and hence requiring referencing) should be moved to the relevant sections of the main body of the article.

--Vinay84 (talk) 03:01, 26 September 2009 (UTC)

1. I don't understand the citation and clarify tags, what you meant?
2. I knew my grammars were not good enough, so if can, I need some help.
3. About the references in LEAD, I will remove them.

World Cinema Writer (talk • contributions) 03:08, 26 September 2009 (UTC)

Ok, I have made clean up in lead; removing several statements and references (but I kept five-six important references) and changed the plot to past tense.(difference between the versions) Any other thing I should be doing? World Cinema Writer (talk • contributions) 03:29, 26 September 2009 (UTC)

Sorry for the misunderstanding created. I shall be more detailed about what is wanted.

• The paragraph :The film was mainly shot in Mumbai, India and Singapore.[3] The film was considered the second major superhero film to be produced in Bollywood since Shekhar Kapur's Mr. India (1987).[4] The film's stunts, choreographed by Tony Ching Siu-Tung, were adapted into storyboard before accepted into the film.[3] During the final scene in the laboratory, the scene was made up using a lot of visual effects, done by Marc Kolbe and Craig A. Mumma,[5] who also creates visual effects for the predecessor.[6] 3D models of cars, bikes, helicopter, birds and animals were created and animated to match live action footage.[7] Lifebuoy, India's best selling soap brand was promoted along with Krrish, where the film's pictures on it.[8] Half of the film's epic stories were adapted from "Ramayana" and "Mahabharata".[9] should be part of Production section and only few sentences of summary be there in the lead.

--Vinay84 (talk) 03:54, 26 September 2009 (UTC)

• THe paragraph :Half of the film's popularity was the economic gross, with product placement, such as Krrish's costumes and action figures.[10] The film was cited as a new "trend setter" in Indian Cinema.[11] Rotten Tomatoes gave the movie an aggregate rating of 100%, based on 6 reviews,[12] meanwhile, the other review were generally positive.[13] Being one of the highest grossing films of the year, Krrish grossed Rs 730 million as total, with Rs 450 million budget.[1][2] It was a box office success and was elevated to a "blockbuster" rating on Box Office India.[14] The film was the second highest grossing film of 2006,[14] fifth highest-grossing Bollywood films in India[15] and the eighteen highest-grossing bollywood films in overseas markets.[16] should be part of Reception section and only few sentences of summary be there in the lead.

--Vinay84 (talk) 04:01, 26 September 2009 (UTC)

• Now, since all the statements appearing in the introduction are repeated in various other sections of the article,the references can be moved. This I will do .

--Vinay84 (talk) 04:09, 26 September 2009 (UTC)

• Ophois , can you please help with the Grammar part by copy editing?

--Vinay84 (talk) 04:14, 26 September 2009 (UTC)

Thanks Vinay84 for the help. I've done the changes; shotened the lead, past tensed the plot. Please don't shock me by undo my edits again. World Cinema Writer (talk • contributions) 04:16, 26 September 2009 (UTC)

Why was the plot changed to past tense? Fiction is supposed to be written in the present. Ophois (talk) 06:43, 28 September 2009 (UTC)

Well, I've changed the plot to present tense[1] and also asked (as told by Vinay) User:Himalayan Explorer to help with gramatical errors.World Cinema Writer (talk • contributions) 05:45, 29 September 2009 (UTC)

Comments by Himalayan

• Intro - The film was cited as a new "trend setter" yet underneath it says it is a sequel from a previous film. I would reword this. Himalayan 11:07, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, but this is way off a GA. It needs an awful lot of work. Ir is more than just punctuation, there are a high number of tense and phrasing difficulties not to mention inappropriately placed sentences like "the film was declared a blockbuster" at the beginning of the production section affecting continuity. It needs a serious copyedit by several people, then repropose it when its ready. I think world cinema writer should have opened a peer review first to address the problems it currently faces as unless this article is given a lot of work it clearly won't pass. Himalayan 11:50, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

The "blockbuster" sentence refers to the first movie, not Krrish. I'll try and copyedit it soon. Ophois (talk) 15:03, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

I'm about half-way done copy-editing. It would be beneficial to add in the English translation for the original intended title of the film in the production section, if you can find it. Ophois (talk) 14:30, 5 October 2009 (UTC)

Actually, I don't think Krrish has a meaning? World Cinema Writer (talk • contributions) 05:13, 6 October 2009 (UTC)

I mean the title before Krrish, "Koi... Tumsa Nahin". Ophois (talk) 09:28, 6 October 2009 (UTC)

Comments by Ophois

• Have you been able to find the English translation of "Koi... Tumsa Nahin"?

"Koi... Tumsa Nahin" means there is nobody like you --Vinay84 (talk) 07:48, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

• Who is Prakash Jaju? The production section mentions he was sued by Roshan over threatening calls, but doesn't explain who he is.Ophois (talk) 22:41, 11 October 2009 (UTC)
• Can you also give a summary of the review for citation #24?Ophois (talk) 23:11, 11 October 2009 (UTC)

Have you started attempts at this? Ophois (talk) 08:19, 20 October 2009 (UTC)

How is the work on Copyediting progressing? --Vinay84 (talk) 03:41, 13 October 2009 (UTC)

I'm done copyediting, but he hasn't addressed my above concerns. As well, I think the infobox for the music album is tacky-looking. What do you think? IMO, it would be better to have it as prose, also with the cited reviews being summarized. Ophois (talk) 23:14, 13 October 2009 (UTC)

There are already excerpts from Reviews in the Reception section. and the infobox is a standard template not to be meddled with.Like you have written, more info on Prakash Jaju is needed. --Vinay84 (talk) 07:48, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

No, there are featured articles that just give the soundtrack in prose. The soundtrack info here is for a subsection, not an article in itself. The reviews I was referring to were about the soundtrack, which is separate from the reception area. In the reception area, citation #24 needs to have the review summarized. Ophois (talk) 11:06, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

The infobox has been coverted to prose, but the two reviews that are in it should be written out and summarized. Ophois (talk) 14:13, 14 October 2009 (UTC)

What is happening guys? There is just a bit of work left and it would be a shame if the article fails GAN because of that--Vinay84 (talk) 09:47, 23 October 2009 (UTC)

I don't know. World Cinema Writer seems to have disappeared. I guess I'll take over on working on the article. I'll try and finish it up today. Ophois (talk) 11:15, 23 October 2009 (UTC)

Okay, I think everything in the article is up to standards. Ophois (talk) 14:37, 23 October 2009 (UTC)

Ok then, no more problems. GA passed --Vinay84 (talk) 03:17, 27 October 2009 (UTC)

Thank you

Thank you for all your help to pass the article. Especially to Vinay84 and Ophois, who passed the article, and also helped me to make the article much perfect. It shall be my first GA article. Thanks again. World Cinema Writer (talk • contributions) 13:16, 30 October 2009 (UTC)