Talk:Super Mario Galaxy/GA3

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 15:09, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this. MWright96 (talk) 15:09, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Premise and setting[edit]

  • Celestial Object, Gravitional force and Wii Message Board are dab links
  • Fixed. JAGUAR  18:44, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "that provide access to the forty-two galaxies available in the game" - forty-two should be in number form for consistency
  • Good catch. JAGUAR  18:44, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Controls[edit]

  • Ice skating is a dab link

Power-ups and lives[edit]

  • Health meter and checkpoint are dab links

Plot[edit]

  • Mushroom Kingdom is linked twice
  • Remove the outer space wikilink since its already in the gameplay section

Development[edit]

  • Remove both links to outer space
  • " life meter to 3 from 8" - spell out 3 and 8
  • "Miyamoto thought that it was too easy and lacked insensitivity, asserting that a game loses its excitement when it is made too easy." - reptition of too easy
  • "Shimizu also had a negative reaction to the idea. Shimizu" - usage of "Shimizu" in close proximity
  • "Iwata noted that Mario's Bee Suit was popular with women, and also stated that Mario's other suits were designed to add variations to the gameplay." - the character would be better to avoid reptition
  • Done, thanks. JAGUAR  18:46, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Music[edit]

  • "Yokota almost quit his job," - quit is American style spelling
  • Yeah, perhaps. I've used "resigned" instead. JAGUAR  18:49, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in contrast to the tropical sounds of Super Mario Bros.. " - remove the second full stop

Reception[edit]

  • " stating that the control schemes more subtle and persuasive as opposed to the "vigorous literalism" of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess." - missing "were"
  • Good catch! JAGUAR  18:50, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

References[edit]

  • Reference 29 is dead
  • Wayback Machine couldn't find it, so I had to remove it. JAGUAR  18:57, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • References 59 and 60 are lacking access dates

Overall very-well written. Possibly one of your best works. On hold for now. MWright96 (talk) 18:29, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: thanks for the review, and the compliment! I've addressed all of the issues. I might even consider taking this to FA, which I strangely wasn't aiming for. JAGUAR  18:57, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@Jaguar: Best of luck if you choose the FA route. Promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 19:02, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]