Talk:Tropical Storm Kammuri (2002)/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Mark Arsten (talk · contribs) 17:58, 15 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

  • Ok, the article looks pretty good to me, seems well written and covers the main aspects. A few small comments and requests I made some copyedits and tweaks to prose, hopefully all are Ok. I'm not much of a meteorologist though, so I can't say much about the technical aspects. Mark Arsten (talk) 19:31, 17 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Thanks for the review and copyedit, looks great. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      • Ok, I'm satisfied with the fixes and explanations. I'll pass this now. Good work! Mark Arsten (talk) 18:54, 18 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • Some repetition of "deadly" here: " produced deadly flooding in the wake of a deadly flood season".
  • "Kammuri killed 153 people, most of them related to the remnants" I'm not sure I understand what you mean here.
    • A storm's remnants is what's left after the circulation dissipates. Imagine a storm moving over land, and how all of its leftover moisture would cause flooding. That was the case here. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the lead image caption, consider stating which body of land it was over at the time.

Meteorological history

  • "estimated peak 10 minute sustained winds" Should "10 minute" be hyphenated here?
  • "Shortly thereafter, the Joint Typhoon Warning Center (JTWC)[nb 3] followed suit by initiating advisories on Tropical Depression 17W,[5] and the Hong Kong Observatory (HKO) began issuing advisories early on August 3." Is there a good way around the repetition of "advisories" here?
  • "The remnants were absorbed by a cold front." Do you know when or where this happened?

Preparations, impact, and aftermath

  • "Kammuri dropped heavy rainfall in Hong Kong that reached 280 mm (11 in) in Kwai Chung" Might want to note what "Kwai Chung" is, a town?
  • "Similarly, Shantou Waisha Airport was closed for four hours, causing 10 flights to be delayed or canceled.[2] Heavy damage was reported in three coastal cities.[2] Two small electrical dams were destroyed by the storm, causing additional flooding." Some repetition of "causing" here.
  • I'd suggest breaking the paragraph that begins "Neighboring Fujian Province to Guangdong" in two.
    • OK. I didn't think it was that long, but structurally it makes sense now. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Widespread areas lost power or water, and two people were electrocuted in Shantou." Is there a connection between the two halves of the sentence?
    • Sort of implication about the power being related to the electrocutions, but I'll change it. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "14 reservoirs surpassed their capacity" This was in Hunan, right? Also, might want to avoid starting a sentence with a number like this.
  • Might want to note when the events of the last paragraph occurred.

References

  • Double check for names that need to be italicized. Mark Arsten (talk) 19:31, 17 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Which ones would have to be? I'm sorry, I always get a little confused by the italicization. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:50, 18 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
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