Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Necrid/archive2

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Karanacs 17:53, 21 April 2009 [1].

Necrid[edit]

Nominator(s): Kung Fu Man (talk) 01:55, 26 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

After several copyedits, scouring for issues and a peer review, resubmitting Necrid for featured article status. The sources have been checked, the prose tweaked, and the article is stable. All content in the article should be up to snuff and legible without requiring a fundamental understanding of video games.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 01:55, 26 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]


  • Comments - sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 00:03, 27 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Support, per comments in the peer review. — Levi van Tine (t – c) 09:02, 27 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Images The image File:Souldcalibur2-necrid-screenshot.jpg shows both appearance and weapons the remainder is excessive 20:18, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Would the secondary design image be better replaced with one of the action figure (which also used the secondary design)? I feel wary about nominating an article for FA with only one image outside of the infobox to be honest.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 13:23, 28 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Technically no FA article has to have an image, and when dealing with non-free content where the image elements are considerably similar in each shot, less is better. I still do not see how the two other images outside of the article meet NFCC as significantly increasing understanding beyond the identification image. --Der Wohltempierte Fuchs (talk) 19:50, 4 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Swords are swords, and I see no reason how it's necessary to have the screenshot if all it can really depict is his weaponry. You've gone a good enough job in the prose with that. --Der Wohltempierte Fuchs (talk) 22:38, 9 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments
    • In the third image, what kind of form is the weapon taking? Also, if applicable, note which game the image is from, and end the caption with a period.
      • Fixed it up, noted the form taken.
    • "His weapon attacks will manifest and disappear into his hands for each, presenting different visual cues than the original character.[26]" (Gameplay section) Can you rephrase that? I don't know what you mean by it.
      • Reworded this to be clearer.
    • (This is just a style tip.) In the "critical reception" section, put the positive reviews first, then the negative ones, then the "Despite their negative remarks" paragraph. If you feel the character has been noted in enough reviews, start the section with "Necrid had a mixed reception among critics of the Soul series" or something like that.
      • Well the reviews are more chronological in a sense, because many early reviews were the first to complain about the character, such as GameNOW's.
        • If it's chronological, put "later" at the start of the second paragraph.
    • In "Design", remove the space between "6" and "½ feet".
      • Fixed.
    • "the vocal samples in his profile are named after emotions, such as 'Determination' and 'Indignation'". Rephrase this to something like "His speech is subtitled, rather than onomotopoetically, as the emotions he expresses, such as 'Determination' and 'Indignation'."
      • Not sure about this one...it's more or less a case where the sentence is meaning exactly what it sounds like. I'm worried other editors might take any expansion upon that as OR on my part, so it might be best to keep it brief, no?

Good work on this article, and on video game character articles in general. These were just a few comments I had after skimming it. Tezkag72 (talk) 14:29, 30 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

      • Alright, think I nailed everything you mentioned, hopefully that'll suffice.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 10:38, 3 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Think I nailed them all.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 13:37, 6 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • CommentReference number 38 is linked to a Wikipedia page. Is there no link to the actual magazine? If not, is there any more info you could add to this reference like page number or volume? NancyHeise talk 02:28, 8 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It's been a while since I've seen the reference source, but it came from a periodical database that omitted the page numbers, similar to how MyWire does. However I added an issue number based on what issue it exactly was. Will that suffice?--Kung Fu Man (talk) 02:47, 8 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Thats better than nothing. Can you provide the periodical database too? NancyHeise talk 03:00, 8 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I honestly don't recall which one it was at this point, other than it was one I couldn't link to outright. It's been some time since the reference was retrieved.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 03:08, 8 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why are dates linked in the references? Dabomb87 (talk) 00:42, 19 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
...because nobody's ever mentioned it as a problem before? Why would it be an issue?--Kung Fu Man (talk) 01:16, 19 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - I'm sorry but the prose is still not up to FA standard here are some examples:

  • "After the discussions, Namco proposed the idea of his company designing a new character for the title which McFarlane accepted, considering the opportunity to also create a toy based upon the finished design" - there's a problem with company designing which should be "company's designing" and "considering " should be something like and considered it an opportunity to create. The flow is very poor here.
  • "Strapped to his chest is a circular piece of metal with a large swirling, pulsating red jewel set inside." - this is back-to-front A pulsating red jewel set inside a circular piece of metal is strapped to his chest
  • "additional changes to his color scheme include teal eyes, black pants and the jewel on his chest changed to blue." - and a blue jewel on his chest
  • "changed to be crystalline in appearance" - and are crystalline
  • "A physical manifestation of the same energy contained within Soul Edge, it is controlled through the jewel on his chest." - that is controlled
  • "IGN's Xbox article editor stated Necrid did not "vibe" with the rest of the game, adding that new characters made without McFarlane's involvement would have been more welcome, and describing the event as an unnecessary marketing ploy." - What event?

These are just some examples; there are problems throughout the text. The main one is a lack of logical flow. It is not ready for FA. Graham Colm Talk 18:13, 20 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed all but the first...something doesn't sound right about the way you're suggesting it should read:

"After the discussions, Namco proposed the idea of his company's designing a new character for the title which McFarlane accepted, and considered it an the opportunity to also create a toy based upon the finished design."

That doesn't seem to flow better at all, if anything kinda makes it harder to read since, doesn't it?--Kung Fu Man (talk) 20:58, 20 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I think it sounds fine as it is, but he's the opposer. Tezkag72 (talk) 21:33, 20 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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