Wikipedia:Peer review/I Should Coco/archive1

I Should Coco[edit]

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
It is my aim to get this article to Good Article standard, and I would like some constructive comments about the content of the page and the amount of referencing on it and how I could expand the Lead section would be much appreciated.

Thanks, TwentiethApril1986 (talk) 18:22, 16 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Just to tell you that the sound samples should be reduced in length. The consensus from WP:Music Samples states that the samples should be a maximum of 30 seconds and no more than 10% of the length of the original recording. Regarding the lead, try to summarise or state the most important fact from each of the sections (but this is only a suggestion). The lead should form a short summary of the article. I would suggest the lead should perhaps be two paragraphs, doubling its current size. Maybe this second section could give a short comment on musical style/major influences for the album, reference to critics' response and mention of the Mercury Prize Award. Sillyfolkboy (talk) 01:10, 22 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: I agree with all of Sillyfolkboy's comments above. Here are a few more suggestions for improvement:

My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, agree it should be at least two paragraphs. Please see WP:LEAD
A model article is often useful for ideas on style, structure, refs, etc. There are many FAs on albums at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Music that may be useful as models
Refer to the members of the band by their last names, not their first (encyclopedic tone) Gaz, Danny, and Mick had been playing gigs around Oxford when they were spotted by producer Sam Williams, who said he wanted to work with them.
Watch out for peacock language - try to make the article more encyclopedic in tone. The whole genre was seen as the voice of youth, but Supergrass dealt with the subject most elaborately, being still in their teens themselves when the album was made. The most well-known song from the album, "Alright", is still played regularly in Britain and Ireland, and held up as an example of teenage rebellion in music. Though it is one of their most popular songs Generally the examples themsleves prove the point - Show, Don't Tell and WP:PEACOCK
Some places need refs - one example All of these elements were then put together by Nick Bax of The Designers Republic to create the finished sleeve. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
Make sure all of the sources used meet WP:RS - what makes http://www.beale.plus.com/Ishudko/ a RS?
Avoid one or two sentence paragraphs as they break up the flow of the article. Expand or combine them.
Please use my examples as just that - these are not an exhaustive list and if one example is given, please check to make sure there are not other occurrences of the same problem.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 18:08, 23 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]