Wikipedia:Peer review/Typhoon Jebi (2018)/archive1

Typhoon Jebi (2018)

I'm considering nominating this for FAC in the near future and would like to see how it can be improved further. Thanks, ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 15:15, 10 October 2020 (UTC)

NOTE: when you close this peer review, please be sure to remove it from Template:FAC peer review sidebar. If FA regulars have to do all the maintenance, they may stop following that very useful sidebar :) And please add the sidebar to your userpage so you can help out at Peer review! Good luck, SandyGeorgia (Talk) 17:27, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

Comments from SandyGeorgia

My general comments for FA aspirants are at User:SandyGeorgia/Achieving excellence through featured content. Please pay particular attention to Tony1's writing exercises, and read through all the helpful links there.

• On non-English citations, use the |trans-title parameter in the citation templates to give the English reader a clue to the article name :)
• Subsequently, Jebi reached its peak intensity ... see the top of User:SandyGeorgia; unnecessary.
• In total, see Tony1 exercises ... In total, 14 people were killed in Japan, mostly from falls and flying debris, and 980 were injured. --> Fourteen people were killed in Japan—mostly from falls and flying debris—and 980 were injured.
• As Jebi passed just north of the Northern Mariana Islands as an intensifying typhoon on August 31, a typhoon warning was issued for the islands of Agrihan, Alamagan, and Pagan.[28] --> Jebi passed just north of the Northern Mariana Islands as an intensifying typhoon on August 31, and a typhoon warning was issued for the islands of ...
• Check all instances for overuse of however.
• Northward east is awkward ... Typhoon Jebi brought large waves to the east coast of Taiwan on September 2 and 3 when it recurved northward east of the Ryukyu Islands. --> When it veered northward again on September 2 and 3, east of the Ryukyu Islands, the typhoon brought large waves to the east coast of Taiwan.
• Also is almost always redundant ... Another death also occurred at Neipi Beach
• Convoluted ... Another death also occurred at Neipi Beach in Su'ao Township when a passerby rescued an eight-year-old girl but drowned himself. ... A passerby drowned at Neipi Beach in Su'ao Township while he was rescuing an eight-year-old girl.

These are all suggestions, article looks competent. Good luck, SandyGeorgia (Talk) 23:32, 28 October 2020 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback, SandyGeorgia, and the useful links! ~ KN2731 {talk · contribs} 11:40, 29 October 2020 (UTC)