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June 29[edit]

Lopsided Smile[edit]

This question has been removed. Per the reference desk guidelines, the reference desk is not an appropriate place to request medical, legal or other professional advice, including any kind of medical diagnosis, prognosis, or treatment recommendations. For such advice, please see a qualified professional. If you don't believe this is such a request, please explain what you meant to ask, either here or on the Reference Desk's talk page.

Uggh!! That's so unhelpful!! I mean,if you don't wanna tell me how to fix my smile, at least tell me where I can go for help. I've got no idea about these things. I can't go to my dentist, and ask him for a refund, bcoz his braces fixed my teeth and ruined my smile. I can't go to a plastic-surgeon who'll insist on slicing me up before he even hears what's wrong with me. I can't go to a yoga-teacher who'll give me lectures on yin-yang. Come on! I wanted help, not some psycho-template stuck in place of my question!! 117.194.227.18 (talk) 07:59, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It's unhelpful because wikipedia does not help with medical questions. GO SEE A DOCTOR. If you're not sure who to see, start with a general practitioner, who can probably recommend a specialist. Baseball Bugs ^{What's up, Doc?} carrots 08:05, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

We know your question is mainly cosmetic, but we're concerned enough about possible (if remote) medical indications that we're saying you should see a good regular physician or physician's assistant who does general practice. Either way, he or she could help.

Most importantly, if it is indeed serious (e.g. a stroke or some other urgent nervous condition), she or he can tell you that

If you need some specialist, (e.g. a neurologist or an oral or maxillo-facial surgeon), he or she can give you a referral and some idea of costs and procedures.

If it just needs some exercises or some simple kind of non-medical physical device, you should be able to get some pointers.

If it's just something that will pass or become less important with time, and thus calls for no intervention, the doctor can put your mind at ease.

But telling you to see a medical professional soon is really as far as we can go here in offering advice, which, for a whole lot of obvious reasons, we're just not equipped to do. We can't see you, we don't have the medical expertise, our contributions are mainly anonymous, and we can't subject ourselves or Wikipedia to the moral or legal liability incurred by offering specific medical advice not only to you but to any reader who might stumble across this section now or in the future. Good luck. —— Shakescene (talk) 09:02, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Not only that, but a professional will *care* about you; or is supposed to, at least. I know that if you have some sort of autism spectrum disorder it might be hard to sense that, or understand it. But, there is a much more personable world out there, filled with people who are interested in you in a much deeper sense, even if the one person did a bad job. Remember, a good bedside manner is a very important part of a doctor's practice. As much as we'd like to help you, and are interested in helping others, we can't. And, if you don't have insurance, there are often clinics that will see people for free and at least start the process. I know the world seems to have grown colder, but there are still humans who care, and human contact will help.209.244.187.155 (talk) 12:10, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This was in-deed a question on medical advise; but well done Shakescene with a decent answer rather than a blatant go see a doctor it proberly actualy helped Chromagnum (talk) 05:49, 3 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Travel iron[edit]

I live in an extremely small room and constantly move around and as a result must use items that are small. To press the clothes, I am considering purchasing a travel iron such as this one: http://eshop.webindia123.com/shop/product/electronics/irons/Shopping_Hub/106267 However, I have some doubts. I am wondering whether they work as well the normal sized irons. Or that may not get hot enough or that they may not produce enough steam. Anybody has had positive experiences with them and would recommend them?. 131.220.46.26 (talk) 10:05, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have owned and used them in the past and they are just as good as "normal" irons. In fact I prefer them - they do not have the fancy sprayer built in, so there is less to go wrong. And the base plate is flat, rather than being often perforated in normal irons. They were just as hot as normal irons. Edit: Woa! I've never used a trvel iron as small as the one that appears in your link, so cannot speak for that. 89.242.110.252 (talk) 11:07, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You can get full size non-steam irons. --Tango (talk) 00:15, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Presumably he also needs an itty-bitty ironing board. Baseball Bugs ^{What's up, Doc?} carrots 03:41, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The iron you link does not seem to be a steam iron, but it is cheap. You could use a spray bottle to provide the dampness needed to smooth out wrinkles. I have some doubts that the cheapest of irons would have good temperature regulation to avoid damage to some fabrics. This one is not a big investment, so it might be worth a try. A better iron should not be that much bigger, and would allow steam. Irons seem to fail fairly often if they are used regularly, much like toasters. Edison (talk) 15:07, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I once bought one of those tiny travel irons because the hotel I was staying in had no iron or ironing board for guest use, and charged €35 to re-wash and "press" my clean shirt in their laundry. Paying €18 for the travel iron seemed like a good idea, though I could have bought a full size steam iron for €15. I only ever used it once. It took ages to get my shirts flat and was frankly useless - I wished I'd saved €3 and got the full size iron and ditched it when I left. Astronaut (talk) 19:54, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If high quality ironing is important to you, something like the Delonghi Pro300 iron can be had for $200 US. It has an iron and a separate 1 liter boiler to make the steam, connected by a hose. It weighs just under 10 pounds and draws 1500 watts. Edison (talk) 05:59, 1 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Cycle Inner Tube sizes - French system[edit]

I've read the Wikipedia articles, and I've read the links from the articles, but I'm still not sure what the significance of all the numbers and letters are on an inner tube size. For example "700x35C" or "700x32C". Is the "700" the external diameter of the inflated tyre in millimetres? Is the "35" or "32" the width of the tyre? What does the "C" mean?

If I have "32" tyre and cannot find a "32" inner tube for it, would it do any harm to use a "35" inner tube instead? I'm thinking that it may be better, as the rubber will be less stretched and thicker, and hence more robust and less likely to get a puncture. Thanks. 89.242.110.252 (talk) 11:46, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I haven't found a good source to explain the exact numbers, but from a quick reading of this forum thread, I would say the "700" refers to "the tire that will fit on your rim". Once you get one, you can use a tape measure to figure out what it means. It will be either the diameter of the rim, the outside diameter of the tire, or the diameter of the fattest part of the tire. Think of it as just a shorthand number for "this one fits". History ensures that numeric designators don't always reflect exact dimensions, they mean "this way works".

The second number seems to refer to the tread width. The thread I reference discusses various "second numbers" all using the 700mm/29" base diameter. Again, just think of this as a relative number rather than some number you can precisely measure somewhere.

Don't know about the "C". You may be better off to call your local friendly bike shop.

Your big risk using an oversized tube is that it will be underinflated. See the second post in that forum thread discussing soft spots, you don't want that to happen if you're planning to move at high speed. 3mm difference is not huge, but call a local shop and they will tell you right away. Franamax (talk) 05:43, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This pdf [1] should help answer your questions. Page 34 and following explain the codes. 71.236.26.74 (talk) 09:54, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. Post number 7 in the forum thread link indicates that they are talking about putting a smaller inner tube in a larger tyre, not the other way around as I woyuld do. So I doubt that using a 35 instead of a 32 will be a problem. And as manufacturers like to skimp on materials to save money, 35 may be best. 89.242.157.137 (talk) 11:31, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

cash money[edit]

whats up? I ned to make me $1,000,000 iin one year. I got $2,000 now. I dont mind doin something illegal if I have a low chance of getting busted. I dont want to get killed either so no drug deals. Help plz. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 173.25.242.33 (talk) 21:12, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, but if we had the answer to that, we'd probably be off doing it rather than answering questions here. -- JackofOz (talk) 21:38, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You really don't have a problem with something illegal or immoral? Then send me your $2000 and I will tell you a surefire way of making $1,000,000 in under a year. And I'll throw in a valuable life lesson while I'm at it. DJ Clayworth (talk) 22:02, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Well, now, to be fair, he didn't say anything about immoral. There are people who think that breaking the law is immoral per se, but those people are, well, wrong. --Trovatore (talk) 00:30, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Find someplace where you can convert $1 US into God knows how many Zimbabwean dollars. According to our article, as of Feb. 2009, the rate was 300 trillion to 1. Instant legal trillionaire! Clarityfiend (talk) 22:15, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Uuh, do it by tomorrow though. A new dollar is being issued that knocks off 12 zeroes. Clarityfiend (talk) 22:44, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If you really want to make a lot of money quickly, rob a bank. You have a very high chance of being busted. Prokhorovka (talk) 22:22, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Write a best selling book, as for example the Harry Potter series. Or invent something. 92.27.159.22 (talk) 23:10, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Depending on where you live, $2,000 might be enough to get you by for a year or two while you pursue a higher degree (assuming your jursidiction has no tuition fees or a loan scheme), which might improve your academic qualifications enough that you will be pushed into a higher income bracket when you graduate. If you play your cards right and you have the right qualifications to start with, this could potentially improve your expected annual income from $0 to $100,000. It is very likely to improve your total expected future income by $100,000. --PalaceGuard008 (Talk) 23:13, 29 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think your best chance is probably to play the lottery. --Tango (talk) 00:14, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Or maybe to invest in Razzbuckniks. Baseball Bugs ^{What's up, Doc?} carrots 01:06, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Assuming the casinos let you make the required bets, your odds would generally be better at Vegas. The house's take is often smaller in many games than in the lottery system. Of course a 500 fold return would still reflect a series of bets with worse than 1 in 500 odds of succeeding. For example getting an exact roulette bet twice would pay 1225 times the initial bet with 1 in 1369 chance of success. Dragons flight (talk) 02:26, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, the odds are always far better at a casino. I had been thinking it was too high a return to reasonably expect from a casino (there's a limit to how many times they'll let you roll over a bet) so you would have to accept worse odds in order to stand a chance of reaching your target, but actually you are right, it's just 500 fold (for some reason I never actually did the division!). Seven bets on red and you're there and with far better odds than buying 2000 lottery tickets. --Tango (talk) 15:31, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

To reiterate, if there was any easy way to do it, we'd do it ourselves, not tell you. Anyway, you're asking for 500X investment return in one year — that's quite a lot, even for illegal activities! Even with high-risk drug deals that would be tough (100X return would probably be more likely, with a high risk of total failure). --98.217.14.211 (talk) 02:13, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If you don't mind being totally illegal and immoral, kidnap some rich person's child and demand a ransom. Should be easy to clear a $1M. With say 9 months of planning you might even be able to design a scenario with a relatively high probability of escape and a low probability of having to actually kill someone. Similarly, there is extortion and blackmail, etc. For the record, I'm not going to tell you how to commit such crimes, but I'm am just pointing out that some forms of criminal activity can be extremely lucrative (at least when they don't end in imprisonment or death). Dragons flight (talk) 02:38, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The best option is to engage in nuclear espionage. Try to steal the technolgy of Teller–Ulam design and sell it to North Korea. I hope Kim Jong-il will pay you any sum to get it. FrogTod (talk) 02:50, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You could defraud investors. Dismas|^(talk) 02:51, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Porn ? Rachmaninov Khan (talk) 03:13, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That could work, provided he could pass the "physical". All this seemingly helpful advice reminds me of something Dogbert once said: "Beware the advice of successful people. They do not seek company." Baseball Bugs ^{What's up, Doc?} carrots 03:39, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

High seas piracy might do it, but it might also get you shot, and on the most wanted list of one or more nations. Even so it'd be tough. If you want to be literal, counterfeiting might also do it.

But seriously, Depending on what you need the million for you might be able to get a business loan. APL (talk) 05:25, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Set up a business facade, find a wealthy mark, and run the scam from the first 30 minutes of the movie The Game. Tempshill (talk) 05:37, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Nuclear espionage takes access to the materials; defrauding investors takes more than $2000 to make the set-up look real enough. So does piracy or setting up an office. Of all the ideas above, porn looks like the best bet...good money and low chance of imprisonment as you can find a place where it is not illegal. "Passing the physical" may not even be an issue; the odd and unusual fetch higher prices because of smaller supply (not intending to cast any slurs on the OP's appearance or abilities). In the early stages, handle the production and distribution yourself, to cut out middlemen, reinvesting the early profits in better sets, equipment and hiring additional actors. ~~To be totally legal, declare yourself as an entertainer and pay the taxes or at least enough not to create suspicion about your unsourced wealth.~~, oops we don't give legal advice Take steps to ensure you have some visible means of income, to avoid arousing suspicions anywhere. - KoolerStill (talk) 08:11, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Use your $2 000 to publish a book titled How to make $1 000 000. The book contains 99 pages that describe the joys of spending the money i.e. beautiful women, fast cars, more beautiful women, lots more stuff like that. Page 100 reveals the Secret Method which is "Buy a book titled 'How to make $1 000 000' and do what it says." Cuddlyable3 (talk) 11:51, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

How about insurance schemes? He might want to give that a try. 65.121.141.34 (talk) 13:19, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

On pages 126 to 128 of the book The Generation Game by David McWilliams, what someone did in 2005 is described. With the economy turning for the better meaning that its now the best time to buy real estate, you can do the same. Buy a prestige office block for $100 million, with a good tenant paying a rent of $5 million a year, ie a 5% yield. You do this by getting a 85% mortgage, leaving only $15 million cash to pay. You get the $15M cash by forming a syndicate of ten investors to raise $20 million. The extra $5 million is to cover the fee you charge them for brokerage (says the book). The rent pays the interest and purchase costs. Thus, not only do you put zero dollars of your own money in, but the investors pay you as broker a $1M+ fee.

You and the investors own shares in the company that you have set up to buy the office block. You own 85% of the shares. The investors own 15%. But as their 15% share is worth $20M rather than $15M, that means the whole building is therefore worth £133M (according to the book I'm summarising - does not make complete sense to me).

The investors do not put in $2 million cash each, but only $250000, and they borrow 90% from a bank (maybe the author meant $200000). So now you own 85% of the office block, and the investors own 1.5% each. You sell the office block in two or three years for $170 million (since recession now over). The investors get 1.5% of this each, which is $2.55M. After paying back the bank, they each get back nearly three times more than what they invested. The mortgage bank gets its $85M back. So you get the remaining $59M profit (the book says you get $70M).

So, you do not invest any money, but you get $59M profit, in addition to the brokerage fee of $1M+ or more that you charge the investors at the start. 78.146.98.182 (talk) 13:42, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

And may I ask how is the OP supposed to get the money to buy the office block in the first place ?? I mean, he's only looking for one million, and the method you above described suggests the person should somehow obtain 10 million for investing first.. Rather, I would go with burglary... Rkr1991 (talk) 14:44, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You may ask, and the answer is to read the paragraphs above. You will see that he does not invest any money himself, and gets a $1M to $5M fee at the start of the project, hence fulfilling the gentleman's request for $1M within a year. In fact over two or three years he would make over $60M. Perhaps I should make it clearer to you that like other real-estate purchases, the mortgage and the cash from the investors are got ready before the purchase is completed. I suggest the $2000 is spent on a smart suit, an accommodation address near Wall Street, and in advertising for investors. 89.240.105.155 (talk) 18:47, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Start a Ponzi scheme. It worked for Bernie Madoff and many others, for years. Edison (talk) 14:56, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Become a freelance civil lawyer. Hire yourself out for lawsuits against big name companies like McDonald's or Starbucks or any place that sells hot coffee. After a few multi-million dollar cases, invest the fees in a sound savings plan.--WaltCip (talk) 15:57, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hard to do all that in a year. I was thinking along similar lines. He could have gone to medical school, specializing, as with Tom Lehrer's friend, in "diseases of the rich." Baseball Bugs ^{What's up, Doc?} carrots 16:46, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Invest your $2k in some form of advertising for a mail-order/online-order homeopathic cure for...oh...sunburn lets say. Be sure to say "all natural", "no harsh ingredients", "safe for children and even pets", "allow 21 days for delivery" - and "money back 100% satisfaction guarantee" - and "$19.95" and (in very small print) "plus $5.95 postage and handling" and in very, very small print indeed "This product has not been tested or approved by the FDA". When the money starts to roll in - for the next two weeks, spend it all on more advertising. And in the third week as yet more orders roll in, spend some of the money on the cheapest and (importantly) smallest bottles you can find. Fill them with water from a large bucket containing water plus one drop of...I dunno...lemon juice - and ship them to your customers. Typically - you can buy and fill the bottles for less than the amount you charge for shipping - so you can still make a small profit even if they return them...which they mostly won't. If sales don't bring in enough revenue to keep up with the advertising you need - then resort to email spam and messages to homeopathic forum systems and mailing lists. At $19.95 a bottle - you only have to sell a little over 50,000 bottles to earn your first million. If you feel the need to juice up the sales pitch - say "Free refills for life - just return the bottle and pay shipping and handling"...since the stuff costs a lot less than the shipping and handling charge - and you don't have to pay for more empty bottles - these "free" refills are still pretty profitable. Also, when you send out your product - be sure to include a flier offering cheap deals on your other homeopathic treatments - that's almost free advertising and it's reaching the gullible people who form your core market. SteveBaker (talk) 17:31, 30 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I just remembered a supposedly true story; it should still work. They advertised super sized black dildoes, for a good price that attracted a lot of buyers. They banked the money they received. Then they wrote to the customers to say they'd run out, and sent refund cheques. The cheques had "super black dildo refund" stamped on them is very large lettering. Some 85% of customers were too embarrassed to put the cheques into their bank. - KoolerStill (talk) 05:00, 1 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You might not have to pay tax on that $ either since you could argue that you paid back 100%. Might be a bit of inconvenience though since you would need to leave a significant amount in the account just in case they later cashed a bunch of the checks. You wouldn't want to bounce a lot or you are talking serious cash and legal issues. 65.121.141.34 (talk) 16:43, 1 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If you got to the point where you were arguing about it with the taxman then you are probably in danger of being charged with fraud for entering a contract you didn't intend to fulfil. --Tango (talk) 18:50, 1 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

An even more basic approach might be this one, which comic Jackie Vernon cited in the 1960s or so, and which was probably old even then: "I saw an ad in the paper. It said, 'Send me a dollar and I'll tell you how I make money.' So I sent him a dollar. I got a postcard back that said, 'Thanks for the dollar. This is how I make money.'" Baseball Bugs ^{What's up, Doc?} carrots 06:33, 1 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Since the conversation is heading that way, WP has a whole category on [Confidence tricks].APL (talk) 12:59, 1 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am sure there was a book about somebody doing the same thing as i will explain to become a million air; swop things that you own for better things; Example; you have a pencil find somebody that has a pen but needs a pencil a pen is worth more than a pencil so you now have gained something extra; take all your belongings that you own and do this with all of them; each time you repeat the process with all articles you own. thenrepeat again with the articles you aquired; In the book he managed to get a semi decent car sold it for a profit and bought another car worth more at a cut down price ECT ECT ECT...you will need the gift of the gab and some dam good look but anything is possible.Chromagnum (talk) 05:58, 3 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Nobody's mentioned the million dollar webpage yet. 89.240.59.254 (talk) 14:31, 3 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Sell everything you own car/house/cat/hamster - go to Vagas place it on RED/BLACK close your eyes and wait for the ball to stop open eyes Cry or rejoice :)Chromagnum (talk) 10:02, 4 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]