Relational aggression

Relational aggression is psychological (social/emotional) aggression between people in relationships. Relational aggression is a form of aggression where the group is used as a weapon to assault others and others' relationships. It uses lies, secrets, betrayals and other dishonest tactics to destroy or damage the relationships and social standing of others in the group. Also known as covert bullying, social aggression , "female bullying", family bullying or serial bullying, it is a covert form of aggression, used by both men and women in relationships. It is less well-known than physical forms of aggression and therefore much more difficult to detect. Often, the victim may not know the abuser is lying or gossiping about the victim, and the abuser may even pretend to befriend the victim.

Although modern understanding of relational aggression arose from the study of cliques of girls in school, and despite the fact that the term "female bullying" is often used synonymously with "relational aggression", relational aggression is seen at times in women and men of all ages in spousal, familial, sexual, social, community, political, and religious settings.

Research seems to indicate differences in the types of relational aggression typical to children of different ages. Younger children are more likely to use direct forms of relational aggression, e.g., "You can't come to my birthday party." In contrast, older children are more likely to use more covert methods of harm, e.g., by making up demeaning stories about the victim and passing them around at school or other environments where social standing is important to the victim.

Forms of Relational Abuse

• Gossip - Where the abuser tells others personal information about the victim.
• Lies - Where the abuser lies about the victim to others.
• Betrayal - Where the abuser breaks agreements with the victim.
• Isolating - Where the abuser prevents the victim from socializing with the victim's friends.
• Excluding - Where the abuser prevents the victim from socializing with the abuser's friends.
• Humilation - Where the abuser humiliates or shames the victim in front of others.

Origin of the term

The term relational aggression was first coined in a 1995 study by Crick and Grotpeter. Despite the novelty of the term, it has gained widespread usage, appearing in books, popular articles, academic papers, web sites and even in the title of research conferences.

Abusive relationships

An abusive relationship is an interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse (see battered woman syndrome). Abusive relationships are often characterized by jealousy, emotional withholding, lack of intimacy, infidelity, sexual coercion, verbal abuse, broken promises, physical violence, control games and power plays.[5]. Abusive relationships are often progressive. That is, the abuse may get worse over time.

Warning signs of relational aggression

These are some of the warning signs that may indicate abuse:

• Physical harm of any kind
• Attempts to control aspects of an individual's life (e.g., how one dresses, who one's friends are, what one says, etc.)
• Humiliation
• Coercing and/or threats of physical harm to an individual or those close to him/her.
• Demands to know where an individual is at all times
• Abuse of drugs or alcohol
• Growing up witnessing an abusive relationship, and/or was abused as a child
• An individual "rages" when they are hurt, shamed, or are in jeopardy of losing control in the relationship.

See also

• Blame
• Bullying
• Domestic violence
• Emotional abuse
• Parental alienation
• Physical abuse
• Shame
• Shunning

Books

• Simmons,Rachel Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls.
• Underwood, Marian K, Social Aggression Among Girls
• Bennett, Elizabeth Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective
• Nixon, Charisse & Dellasega, Cheryl, Girl Wars

Academic articles

Casas, J.F., Weigel, S.M., Crick, N.R., Ostrov, J.M., Woods, K.E., Jansen Yeh, E.A., Huddleston-Casas, C.A. (2006). Early parenting and children’s relational and physical aggression in the preschool and home contexts. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 27, 209-2227.

Crick, N.R. & Grotpeter, J.K (1995). Relational aggression, gender, and social psychological adjustment. Child Development, 66, 710-722.

Crick, N. R., Ostrov, J. F., & Kawabata, Y. (in press). Relational aggression and gender: An overview. Invited chapter to appear in D. J. Flannery, I. Waldman, & A. Vazsonyi (Eds.), The Cambridge Handbook of Violent Behavior and Aggression.

Crick, N. R., Ostrov, J. M., & Werner, N. E. (2006). A longitudinal study of relational aggression, physical aggression and children’s social-psychological adjustment. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 34, 131-142.

Ostrov, J. M., Gentile, D. A., & Crick, N. R. (2006). Media Exposure, Aggression and Prosocial Behavior During Early Childhood: A Longitudinal Study. Social Development, 15, 612-627.

External links

• Relational Aggression Stop RA Today (Website with info on what to do about Relational Aggression)
• Rats & Bullies: The Dawn-Marie Wesley Story (A Documentary Feature Film)
• The Ophelia Project - Leading Resource On Relational Aggression
• Bullying in the Family, UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line.
• Relational Aggressor: The New Bully on the Block
• Relational Aggression
• Relational Aggression Weblog
• Club Ophelia
• Emotional Bullying
• Names Do Hurt
• Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
• Teens against abuse
• Survivor Matters Support site created by survivors for survivors of any type of abuse