The Pen

Template:Infobox Seinfeld episode The Pen is the twentieth episode of the hit sitcom Seinfeld. The episode was the third episode for the show's third season. It aired on October 2, 1991.

Plot synopsis

Template:Spoiler Jerry and Elaine go to Florida to visit Jerry's parents for the weekend and go scuba diving. Jerry's father is also being honored at a ceremony the next night. Jack Klompus comes over to write Morty a check for a previous night's dinner and Jerry notices Jack's pen. When he asks Jack about it, he tells Jerry that it can write upside down and that astronauts use it in space. Jack offers an interested Jerry the pen. Jerry refuses his offer several times, but Jack persists and Jerry finally gives in. Jerry's mother asks why he took the pen and says he should give it back because rumors will spread around the community that Jerry wanted Jack to give it to him.

Elaine sleeps on a sofa bed with a bar that sticks up through the mattress and hurts her back. She is extremely uncomfortable and it is not helped by the fact that the air conditioning is turned off. Jerry tries to console her by saying they only have two more days left before they go back to New York. The next morning, Elaine's back is so hurt that she can't go scuba diving with Jerry. Morty suggests she take muscle relaxants. Rumors begin to spread around the community that Jerry wanted Jack to give him the pen. Jerry goes scuba diving without Elaine. When he returns, he has black eyes because the capillaries around his eyes burst when he went underwater and pressure was too tight on his mask.

Jack comes over again and Jerry returns the pen. Morty yells at Jack for "taking Jerry's pen." Elaine decides she wants to take the muscle relaxants, but takes a slight overdose and acts strangely at the ceremony. Jerry has to wear sunglasses because of his black eyes. Jack is the emcee and makes cracks about Morty at the podium. Morty starts arguing with Jack again about taking back the pen and they start fighting. The next day, a chiropractor looks at Elaine's back and tell her she shouldn't go anywhere for at least five days, extending both her and Jerry's stay even longer.

Trivia

• This is the only episode of Seinfeld that George Costanza does not appear in. Kramer does not appear in it either, but he also wasn't in the Season 2 episode, "The Chinese Restaurant." Jason Alexander confesses in the DVD extras that he walked upto Larry David and told him he would quitting if he was ever written out of the story line again. This was the second-to-last episode not to feature all four main characters. (Elaine Benes was not seen in Season 4's "The Trip."
• Despite not appearing in this episode, both Jason Alexander and Michael Richards were still credited in the opening titles.
• The first appearance of Jack Klompus and his pen. He would lose the pen in the Season 8 episode "The Money (Seinfeld episode)\The Money" when he drives Morty's Cadillac into a swamp.

Quotes

• Helen: You're going underwater?
  Jerry: Yes. Generally that's where scuba diving is done.
• Elaine: Oh, man. What is with this bar? It's right in my back. It's killing me.
  Jerry: Oh, you wanna switch? I'm sleeping on a love seat. I've got my feet up in the air like I'm in a space capsule.
  Elaine: I am never gonna fall asleep.
  Jerry: Oh, don't say that. You'll jinx me.
  Elaine: How can they not put the air conditioning on?
  Jerry: They're nuts with temperature.
  Elaine: This bar is right in my back! It's making a dent.
  Jerry: How about that guy writing a check for 19.45?
  Elaine: I'm sweating here. I'm in bed, sweating.
  Jerry: It's one day. Half a day, really. I mean you subtract showers and meals, it's like twenty minutes. It'll go by like that. (snaps his fingers)
• (after being told by a chiropractor that she will have to stay for at least five more days)
  Elaine: (to Jerry) Five more days?
  Jerry: Well today's almost over. And weekdays always go by fast. Friday we're leaving. It's like two days really. It's like a cup of coffee. It'll go by like that. (snaps his fingers)
• Jerry: Elaine, this is my aunt Stella.
  Elaine: (a la Marlon Brando) STELLA! STELLA!
  Jerry: (to Stella) Her back hurts.
  Stella: We saw you on The Tonight Show last week.
  Leo: I thought Johnny was very rude to you. He didn't even let you talk.
  Jerry: No, no...
  Leo: You need some new material. I've heard you do that dog routine three times already.
  Elaine: STELLA! STELLA!
  Leo: Listen, you should get your cousin Jeffrey to write some material for you.
  Morty: What are you talking? Jeffrey works for the parks department!
  Leo: You should read the letters he's written. He's funnier than the whole bunch of you! (Jack comes in) Oh, here's Jack. We should sit down.
  Stella: (sarcastically) This better be good. I'm missing Golden Girls for this.
  Helen: (after Stella walks away) I hate her like poison.
• (after Morty and Jack start fighting about the pen)
  Helen: Jerry, do your act.
  Jerry: I can't. Nobody's even listening.
  Helen: They're all gonna leave.
  Jerry: (to himself) Oh God! (into the mike) huh... Hey! How you folks doing tonight?
  Man in Crowd: Who are you?
  Jerry: Have you ever noticed how they always give you the peanuts on the planes?
  Woman in Crowd : Not my Harry. He flies first class.
  Jerry: Who ever thought the first thing somebody wants on a plane is a peanut?
  Man in Crowd (voiced by Larry David) : I'd rather have a bottle of scotch!
  Helen: Do the dog routine.