Gary Bailey: Difference between revisions
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'''Gary Richard Bailey''' (born [[August 9]], [[1958]] in [[Ipswich]], [[England]]) was an [[England|English]] [[football (soccer)|football]] player, and the son of the [[Ipswich Town F.C.|Ipswich Town]] goalkeeper [[Roy Bailey]]. |
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Gary "Fucking" Bailey was born on 6/6/66 in Pittsburgh PA. He readily became known as the hairiest mother fucker alive. One can easily mistake him for sasquatch or bigfoot. However, standing at a tall 5 foot 2, Gary falls short of the height requirements of bigfoot by at least two feet. |
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He grew up in [[South Africa]] and started his career with [[Wits University Football Club]] in Johannesburg. In the late 1970s Bailey paid his own fare to Manchester for a trial with [[Manchester United F.C.|Manchester United]]. He was a [[goalkeeper]] who could make amazing saves, but whose weakness on crosses earned him the nickname "[[Dracula]]". Early on in his United career, he missed a cross in the [[1979]] [[FA Cup]] final, allowing [[Alan Sunderland]] to score the winning goal for [[Arsenal F.C.|Arsenal]]. Despite this, he was considered to be one of the best goalkeepers in England in the early 1980s, and represented the national team. United were one of the top sides in England at that time and Bailey won [[FA Cup]] medals with them in [[1983]] and [[1985]]. However, he developed a serious knee injury and, after several operations, he left the club in [[1987]] after compiling 160 clean sheets, returning to South Africa where he subsequently resumed his career. Gary is now a football presenter for Supersport Premier League coverage in South Africa. |
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Gary Bailey's major accomplishments include the large pile of junk in his yard, his ability to play dentist with his children in his basement and, of course, being the hairiest mother fucker alive. |
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{{England Squad 1986 World Cup}} |
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Gary Bailey is a ladies man. Many do not know the source of this power and question whether it comes from his excessive hair or the smell of oil. Others believe that it is a result of his unending supply of roofies. As a result of these sexual encounters, Gary is the proud father of 15 children, 5 dogs, 3 cats and 2 rats. |
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[[Category:1958 births|Bailey, Gary]] |
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Gary Bailey has a deficiency in his communication skills. He is unable to speak in complete, let alone coherent, sentences. He typically just resorts to grunting and finger pointing. |
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[[Category:Living people|Bailey, Gary]] |
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[[Category:People from Ipswich|Bailey, Gary]] |
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[[Category:English footballers|Bailey, Gary]] |
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[[Category:England international footballers|Bailey, Gary]] |
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[[Category:Manchester United F.C. players|Bailey, Gary]] |
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[[Category:FIFA World Cup 1986 players|Bailey, Gary]] |
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[[Category:Old Edwardians|Bailey, Gary]] |
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{{England-footy-goalkeeper-stub}} |
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What Gary lacks in the communication department he makes up for in other ways. He has a large piece. Gary, his penis measuring a whopping two inches, considers himself to be the Ron Jeremy of junk (or in his words "grunt grunt grunt" while pointing to his crotch). Perhaps this is why the girls fall head over heels for him. |
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[[fr:Gary Bailey]] |
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Since Gary cannot comfortably fit inside a woman, because his peice is too large, he has to resort to other ways to sexually please his partners. Gary enjoys fisting women and men. While fisting, Gary likes items to be shoved up his asshole similar to bottleguy.com. As a result of this, Gary has lost control of all bowel movement. Many believe that Gary does not shower and constantly smells like oil in a futile attempt to hide the hideous odor of shit permeating from his body. |
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Gary is a hero to all and a father of many. He is well known throughout Pennsylvania as the hairiest mother fucker alive. Gary challenges all to attempt to surpass him- whether it be attempting to prove they are hairy than him, smarter than him, uglier than him or have a larger piece than him- Gary is confident that he will win. |
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Gary's favorite quote is GRUNT GRUNT POINT. |
Revision as of 13:07, 25 April 2007
Gary Richard Bailey (born August 9, 1958 in Ipswich, England) was an English football player, and the son of the Ipswich Town goalkeeper Roy Bailey.
He grew up in South Africa and started his career with Wits University Football Club in Johannesburg. In the late 1970s Bailey paid his own fare to Manchester for a trial with Manchester United. He was a goalkeeper who could make amazing saves, but whose weakness on crosses earned him the nickname "Dracula". Early on in his United career, he missed a cross in the 1979 FA Cup final, allowing Alan Sunderland to score the winning goal for Arsenal. Despite this, he was considered to be one of the best goalkeepers in England in the early 1980s, and represented the national team. United were one of the top sides in England at that time and Bailey won FA Cup medals with them in 1983 and 1985. However, he developed a serious knee injury and, after several operations, he left the club in 1987 after compiling 160 clean sheets, returning to South Africa where he subsequently resumed his career. Gary is now a football presenter for Supersport Premier League coverage in South Africa.