The Contest

This article is about the Seinfeld episode. For the Australian game show, see The Con Test.

"The Contest"

"The Contest" is the 51st episode of the popular U.S. sitcom, Seinfeld. It aired on November 18, 1992. It was the eleventh episode of the fourth season.

Plot

The four main characters — Elaine Benes, Cosmo Kramer, George Costanza and Jerry Seinfeld — make a bet to see which one can go the longest without masturbating. It is one of the show's most notable and talked-about episodes, and is notorious for breaking taboo by talking about the subject of self-gratification. "The Contest" begins with George telling the others that, "my mother caught me", and explains (without mentioning the word) that he was masturbating in his parent's house, while reading a Glamour magazine, resulting in George's mother falling and ending up in the hospital. After George's lack of self restraint is criticized by Jerry, George decides to make a $100 bet with him over who can go the longest without masturbating (phrased as who can stay "master of his domain"). Elaine and Kramer decide to join in (Elaine for $150, because, they decide, it is easier for a woman to not masturbate, as it is part of a man's "lifestyle").

Jerry: It's like shaving.
Elaine: Oh what a bunch of baloney! I shave my legs!
Kramer: (while eating) Not every day.

Each character is confronted with temptation. The presence of John F. Kennedy Jr. in her fitness club is a temptation for Elaine; the naked woman across the street occupies the thoughts of Kramer and Jerry; and George's distraction is the female patient in the bed adjacent to his mother's — the woman receives daily sponge baths from a beautiful female nurse. The first to be eliminated is Kramer, almost immediately after first gazing on the beautiful woman across the street. The second is Elaine, who ends up masturbating after hearing that John F. Kennedy Jr. wants to meet her outside Jerry's building, which he thinks is hers. The way the show demonstrates someone has lost the contest is by showing the character enjoying a restful sleep in bed at the end of the day, whereas the remaining contestants suffer insomnia. Also, Kramer — and subsequently Elaine — are shown placing their money on Jerry's counter upon losing.

The winner is not actually confirmed in the episode, although circumstances suggest it was George. This was confirmed in both the season five episode "The Puffy Shirt" and the season six episode "The Race". However, in the final episode, it is revealed that George had actually cheated during The Contest, therefore making Jerry the true winner.

Trivia

• Although the episode was about masturbation, the word itself was not uttered in the whole episode. Julia Louis-Dreyfus later said, on the Late Show with David Letterman, that NBC censors would not allow it. Euphemisms and other subtleties were used to convey the meaning. Upon being questioned, George responds, "I was alone" which seems to instantly indicate the meaning to Elaine, Kramer and Jerry. Phrases such as "Master of Your Domain" are used to indicate a successful standing in the bet. This phrase is used in two other episodes in the series. Other phrases include "King of the County," "Lord of the Manor," and "Queen of the Castle." It was also referenced by George's mother as "treating his body as if it were an amusement park!" Ironically, the word was used by George earlier in the season in "The Ticket" episode.
• The episode features an opening standup bit on 'Parents having sex' and a closing bit about 'Nudity in National Geographic'.
• According to the "Notes About Nothing" feature on the Season 4 DVD, Kramer's memorable "I'm out" scene was the character's one hundredth entrance into Jerry's apartment in the course of the series.
• Since this episode, George can be seen with a Glamour magazine in later episodes, such as "The Handicap Spot" and "The Sniffing Accountant".
• This is the first appearance of George's mother, Estelle Costanza.
• This episode is made reference to in Family Guy, Season 4 episode 13 "Jungle Love", in which Peter Griffin pays villagers of a South American tribe to re-enact "The Contest episode of Seinfeld".
• This episode is made reference to in Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 2 episode 8 "Shaq", in which Larry David watches the "contest episode of Seinfeld" with Shaquille O'Neal.

Quotes

George [looking bedraggled]: My mother caught me.

Jerry: Caught you? Doing what?

George: You know.

[Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer fail to catch on.]

George: I was alone...

Elaine [realizing]: You mean...?

George: Uh-huh.

Kramer [laughing]: She caught you?

Jerry: Where?

George [reluctantly]: I stopped by the house to drop the car off, and I went inside for a few minutes. Nobody was there, they're supposed to be working. My mother had a Glamour magazine, I started leafing through it...

Jerry [incredulous]: Glamour?

[Kramer and Elaine laugh.]

George: So, one thing lead to another...

Jerry: So what did she do?

George: Well, first she starts screaming "George! What are you doing? My God!" And it looked like she was gonna faint; she started clutching the wall, trying to hang on to it...

Kramer: Man...

George: I didn't know whether to keep her from falling or zip up!

Jerry: What did you do?

George: I zipped up!

Elaine: So she fell?

George: Yeah...well, I couldn't run over there the way I was!

[Jerry and Elaine mutter in agreement.]

George: So she fell, and then she started screaming "My back! My back!" So I picked her up and took her to the hospital.

Elaine [laughing]: How is she?

George: She's in traction.

Elaine [still laughing]: Okay, I'm sorry...

George [angry]: It's not funny, Elaine!

Elaine [stifling laughter]: I know, I'm fine.

George: Her back went out. She's gotta be there for a couple of days. All she said on the way over in the car was "Why, George? Why?"...I said "Because it's there!"

Jerry [still incredulous]: Glamour?!