List of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps characters: Difference between revisions
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==James== |
==James== |
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'''Played by''' James Frost |
*'''Played by''' James Frost |
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James appears in the episode "Bungle" (2.2); Louise, looking for a boyfriend, finds James, who describes himself as "posh-ish". He is keen to have sex with Louise and announces at Janet's dinner party that he will be "serving her some meat"; he is shy and naive, and admits while drunk that he is a virgin. |
James appears in the episode "Bungle" (2.2); Louise, looking for a boyfriend, finds James, who describes himself as "posh-ish". He is keen to have sex with Louise and announces at Janet's dinner party that he will be "serving her some meat"; he is shy and naive, and admits while drunk that he is a virgin. |
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Revision as of 21:33, 25 October 2007
The following is a list of characters for the British television series, Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps. This BBC sitcom written by Susan Nickson. It is set in the town of Runcorn in Cheshire, England and revolves around the lives of five twentysomethings.
Main Characters
Jonny Keogh
- Played by: Ralf Little(Series 1 - 6)
Born February 9 1981[1], Jonny is a sweet devoted husband to Janet Smith. He loves daytime television (especially Through the Keyhole, LK Today and As Time Goes By), eating cat food as he "just can't resist those meaty chunks in jelly", desiccated coconut, carpets (because they're "nice"), egg butties, Bovril[2] and his six o'clock sandwich. He has a fetish for biscuits - mostly Jammie Dodgers - but hates bourbons and rich tea biscuits; he cannot decide whether Kit Kats are a chocolate or a biscuit. He has a secret obsession with the film Titanic. He also enjoys cartoons such as ThunderCats[3]and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, as he watched them as a child. Despite being married to Janet and having a son, Jonny frequently struggles to deal with his feminine side (according to Janet his "big cockmunching side"); once Jonny nearly punched Janet when she called him "a big gay" after she began to push Jonny around because she was sick of it herself. Jonny is a keen fan of Liverpool FC[4]. Jonny has been unemployed throughout the series except for brief periods of time. He has described himself to Gaz as a "lazy gobshite", and for a time earned more than Donna on Jobseeker's Allowance.
Janet Keogh née Smith
- Played by: Sheridan Smith
Born June 25 1981 is the more homely girl of the group who loves "things that go bleep bleep", Cheeky Vimto, cigarettes and - unlike Jonny - rich tea biscuits. She is a fan of Coronation Street. She has GCSEs in P.E and home economics. Janet originally worked in Sayers (Hampsons) Bakery, until she beat Donna for the position of manager at The Archer, shortly before it was closed down by Health and Safety inspectors. In 2005 Janet gave birth to her first child, Corinthian McVitie Keogh (Jonny thought of the name, showing his obsession with biscuits, though his favourites - Jammie Dodgers - are made by Burton's) after firstly being denied in childbirth by Jonny and then having to push Louise in a wheelchair all the way to Runcorn Community Hospital. Louise later "christened" him Corinthian McVitie Louise Keogh without permission, at the time believing that she was God incarnate. Janet had a one night stand with Gaz in Series 4 after both were feeling unloved. They were discovered by Louise who later revealed all after having a flashback. It was believed that Gaz was Corinthian's father, until it was discovered he had a very low sperm count.
Gary "Gaz" Wilkinson
- Played by: Will Mellor
Born in 1979, Gaz is a stereotypical "blokey bloke" who likes football (he supports Manchester City FC), beer, sex, Hollyoaks (in which Will Mellor used to appear) and Monarch of the Glen. He is an avid collector and user of pornography. Gaz has two sisters (Julie and Tasha) and a half-brother, Munch; he is terrified of sheep, believing them to be evil. His favourite books include The Lust of the Mohicans, Pleasure Island, Macbiff and The Count Of Monte Cristo (although it doesn't actually say Count). Gaz works as a mechanic at Brindley Autos, originally owned by his father until he sold it to Donna. Gaz later found out he was infertile after deciding to become a sperm donor in series 6 because he was feeling broody. This proved the paternity of Corinthian Keogh - i.e. he was Jonny's.
Donna Henshaw
- Played by: Natalie Casey
Born in 1980 after being conceived in a Ford Capri, Donna is currently engaged to Gaz Wilkinson. She is is the brazen, sexually promiscuous one of the group. She loves people who can make socks talk, Last of the summer wine, The Carpenters, popping bubble wrap, her friends, not to mention her avid desire for sex. She dislikes vegetarian students and thin people who diet (however, she very much disliked Gaz when he was fat). She is also known to have a vicious temper, and once killed an ex-boyfriend's budgie. Donna also has a younger estranged brother called Dion, and a sister called Katie. She also seems to have another younger, un-named brother who is only seen in the episode 'Spunk', when Gaz comes to her mother's house for a meal. Her Mother, Flo, whom she was very close to, died between series four and five, after being run over by a truck (Louise later referred to this as the "truck splat-oomph incident"). Donna was employed by O'Connor's Plastics selling buckets, rising to become a very well-paid executive until she was fired after stealing and then crashing a company van. Donna and Gaz briefly split after Donna found out Gaz had a one night stand with best friend Janet and then went to long lengths to hide the fact she still had feelings for him including considering plastic surgery (she actually tried to make Gaz think she had plastic surgery) and convincing herself she had to have Gaz's help when Jonny and Janet went missing on their wedding day. They eventually got back together again after Gaz was involved in a road accident, in which she finally admitted that she loved him. She proposed to Gaz at the end of Series 6, after rejecting his initial proposal to her earlier in the series.
Louise Susannah Brooks
- Played by: Kathryn Drysdale
Born in 1981, Louise is initially seen as a student of sociology, although she is in one episode seen as a trainee social worker. She is desperate to find the perfect man and loves horoscopes, Coronation Street, collecting Sylvanian Families, balloon animals, Steps and the Disney Store. She dislikes old people and fears getting old. She is overly childish, selfish, naive, insensitive and deters most men she meets. Louise has a high-pitched voice: Kelly the barmaid claims that Louise's voice "chills her to the bones" and that she is a "squeaky biffa", Donna has called her a "squeaky little twatbag". She discovers that she is adopted later on in the series; her adoptive mother is a depressed maniac who sits in her nightie looking at the fridge all day. Her birth father, Brian, is later revealed to be gay after he flirts with Jonny. She has also mentioned an "Auntie Nigel" on more than one occasion, who is supposedly a psychopath. Louise is a snobby person who neither respects, or even wants to look at Jonny, (who, for his part, thinks she tastes like lard) although at one point she stated that she liked him "in a way". Louise even got "dull" Jonny shot once. When she took on a job at the Office for National Statistics she changed his profile on the computer to that of a serious armed criminal (and Thailand's tallest prostitute) to make it less boring. This later resulted in Jonny being shot in the knee in the grounds of Halton Castle for which Louise was arrested and charged with "incitement to GBH" (grievous bodily harm). She had a brief stint as the manager of the Sayers' bakery in which Janet worked, but was eventually fired after sacking all of her employees. Near the end of the sixth series, it is revealed that Louise may be pregnant and it is hinted that Donna's younger brother Dion may be the father.
Supporting Characters
Floella "Flo" Henshaw
- Played by: Beverley Callard (Series 1 - 4)
Flo Henshaw (January 13 1959 - January 1, 2005) was Donna's mother. Flo nicknamed herself the thinking man's strumpet, loving sex, sex and more sex. She also liked standing in front of the window naked, and the word "valves". She believed that tanning is a good thing and orange is the future. Flo had also modelled for 'Readers Wives', 'Hirsute Pursuits' and 'Pregnant Mums'. She was killed after being run over by a truck (the "truck splat incident", according to Louise), and her funeral took part at the start of series five. Flo was also believed to be having an affair with Janet's dad after they were caught together by Johnny.
"Munch" Wilkinson
- Played by: Lee Oakes (Series 3 - 5)
Gaz had a half-brother he never knew of; this is Munch, whose real name is not revealed. Introduced in the episode Munch (3.1), he's "a bit of a yoghurt" according to Gaz and is not allowed to hang around people too much. He'd love to find a girlfriend but has to make do with the 'girl with sick on her' every Friday night, even though he fancies Donna. This fixation stems from the night he stumbled across her wearing her kinky nurse's outfit and waiting for Gaz. Nevertheless, he hasn't had much luck with the ladies, especially after asking a "desperate" woman in The Archer if she'd like to "see his knob". He did, however, have a very brief relationship with Kelly the barmaid. Later, Donna and Munch became sort of friends, much to Gaz's distaste as he felt Munch was invading his life. Munch likes Vimto (according to him it is "big, clever and purple, like the prime minister" and "a really mellow high"), salt and vinegar chipsticks, brown sauce and stale bread sandwiches. He thinks that Gaz (or 'Mr Wilkinson' as he often calls him) has a funny shaped head. He also claims that he has "Munch magic", and indeed his sole talent is to make defunct car engines work. It is possible he suffers from a developmental disorder, or is merely chronically socially inept.
Kelly "the Barmaid"
- Played by: Hayley Bishop (Series 4 - present)
Kelly worked at Runcorn's local Sayers' Bakery and then at The Archer. Her main interests include sex, orgasms and The Archer's elderly regulars. Kelly has come on to all four main characters apart from Donna. However after Donna split up with Gaz and found herself isolated, Kelly began to dress and act entirely like Donna. Her character has changed dramatically over the duration of the programme from a sycophantic lackey without any self-confidence to a voraciously promiscuous barmaid who has infected a number of the elderly patrons with STIs.
Corinthian McVitie Keogh
Corinthian McVitie Keogh is the son of Jonny Keogh and Janet Keogh. He was born during series 5, nine months after Janet slept with Gaz, which raised the question of whether Corinthian was Gaz or Jonny's son. It was revealed in series 6 that Gaz is "firing blanks" (a phrase not usually used in formal letters), proving Jonny to be the father because he has "fully functioning balls". Louise went through a phase of thinking she was god, and tried to become Corinthian's godmother, but when Janet called off the christening, Louise christened him herself, christening him as "Corinthian McVitie Louise Keogh". Corinthian's name comes from Jonny's action man doll, named Corinthian, and Jonny's love for biscuits.
David Gideon Fish
- Played by: Jonathon Dutton (Series 3 - 4)
In series three (3.2) Louise gets a secret admirer who turns out to be a geeky guy from Louise's school who's turned into a rather good looking bloke with a pseudo-Australian accent (since he has been living in Melbourne for the last eight years). David is now a student in the area. He performed well on their first night together, but not at all the following night, due to exhaustion and (according to him) the "friction burns on [his] cock". He had also had a one night stand with Donna a year previously, which upset Louise and caused her to have a grudge towards Donna for a little while. David Fish is something of a "new-age" man, being interested in self-help books and tai chi. He is eventually dumped by Louise as she thinks he is a "pretentious drongo".
Kate
- Played by: Alison Mac (Series 4)
Kate was a temporary barmaid at The Archer and became Jonny's new girlfriend after he had split up with Janet. Having a lot in common with Jonny, especially his love of biscuits, she and Jonny were almost constantly having sex. None of the others were fond of her, and after Gaz tried to seduce her to break up their relationship, she resolved to take Jonny away from them. However, Jonny dumped her instead, realising where his loyalties lay. Kate was possessive towards Jonny and her attitude to his friends was patronising.
James
- Played by James Frost
James appears in the episode "Bungle" (2.2); Louise, looking for a boyfriend, finds James, who describes himself as "posh-ish". He is keen to have sex with Louise and announces at Janet's dinner party that he will be "serving her some meat"; he is shy and naive, and admits while drunk that he is a virgin.
Minor Characters
- Pete Smith - Janet's father - Played by: Rob Jarvis
- Brian - Louise's real father
- Andy - Janet's boyfriend prior to Jonny - Played by: Oliver Boot
- Dion - Donna's younger brother
- Phillip - Donna's university tutor
References
- ^ however in the episode "Filthy Brunching" his birthdate is shown as 26th October on the file deleted by Louise
- ^ A beef tea[1]
- ^ the theme tune of which was his "favourite lullaby"
- ^ in reality, Ralf Little is a fan of Manchester United FC)
- ^ http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2548966/
- ^ http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2548519/
- ^ http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2545989/
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