Wikipedia:Requests for feedback

"WP:FEED" redirects here. For the essay on vandalism, see Wikipedia:Deny recognition. For RSS and Atom feeds, see Wikipedia:Syndication. For the page rating system, see Wikipedia:Article Feedback Tool.

Requests for Feedback

This page provides comments and constructive criticism about articles that you have drafted, created, or substantially changed. This is not a general help page. To seek assistance or ask a question, see Wikipedia:Questions. If you are seeking an outside opinion about a dispute, please follow the steps in Wikipedia:Dispute resolution. Please note that this page is patrolled by volunteer editors just like you and it may take several days to review your request.

Before you request feedback

There are certain things which come up again and again so it may help if you deal with them before requesting feedback: Does your article have reliable sources? These are important in terms of both verifiability and notability. Do you have a conflict of interest that may harm your ability to produce a neutral article? If you would like a beginner's guide to these sorts of issues, take a look at the article wizard. If you are unsure about how to edit Wikipedia articles, take a look at this tutorial. For a more general discussion of writing your first article, see "Your first article".

How to post a request

Place a Wikilink, with the title of the page inside [[ and ]] - for example, [[User:Example/Lipsum]] or [[Cats]] - in the box below. Click Click To Add Request In the new article, Write a brief summary of your work or what in particular you need help with, but do not post the whole article here. If you have rewritten an existing article, you may wish to provide a diff link from that article's history that shows your changes. Check regularly for responses to your request; they will most often be made here. ↓ Post your request using the box below. Replace "Untitled" with a wikilink to your article - e.g. [[User:Example/Lipsum]] or [[Cats]] ↓

After Receiving Feedback

Check back here often, as you will receive a response here. Respond to the feedback, either with a simple thank you, to ask for help with anything mentioned, or, after you've made some of the improvements, what they think of them. Consider helping out here in the future - anyone can read up on what articles should be like and provide constructive criticism.

Are you providing feedback?

Please consider notifying the user whose article you are providing feedback for by placing a message on their talk page, so they will be able to read it in a timely manner and reply if necessary. You can use.. {{Feedbackreply-sm}} A template asking the user to check back here and consider responding {{Feedbackreply-alt}} A more personal version of the first offering your help with developing, moving to mainspace, etc.

(For help, see Wikipedia:Purge)

The previous few days of requests are transcluded below. The pages for the past 20 days are: ()

• May 3
• May 4
• May 5
• May 6
• May 7
• May 8
• May 9
• May 10
• May 11
• May 12
• May 13
• May 14
• May 15
• May 16
• May 17
• May 18
• May 19
• May 20
• May 21
• May 22

Index of all requests for feedback

User:GregoryCouratier/Sandbox

Hello,

Could someone tell me if my article is appropriate for the mainspace ? I tried to use a NPOV, and took into account that Wikipedia is an encyclopedia and not an advertising website. To me the article is just information. Please tell me if I should modify it and how so that it can be published.

Thanks

GregoryCouratier (talk) 19:27, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

I think the main problem is going to be establishing notability. At Wikipedia, there are strong guidelines requiring all content submitted to have a certain degree of importance. While there are many articles which break these guidelines, they will be applied as much as possible. In particular, see WP:ORG for the guidelines concerning businesses. Basically, to be confident of having it stay when moving it to a main article, you will need to find a couple of sources that give a good discussion of the company.— Kan8eDie (talk) 12:24, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Hello,

Thanks for the information. I have inserted three notes with links of websites that talk about the company. I also have added the company's products, regarding what's asked in WP:ORG. As it is my first article, could someone tell me if the article matches all Wikipedia's requirements ? Thanks a lot.

GregoryCouratier (talk) 17:13, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Much better. It is looking good, but at the moment there is still few independent sources (press releases etc. do not count, and we prefer to have full features when establishing notability, rather than just the odd page). Now, these are demanding requirements, and it can be hard to find enough good sources, but it should be possible with just a bit more work. One more full article in a big newspaper would be enough. Well done for your great efforts so far though.— Kan8eDie (talk) 15:43, 27 January 2009 (UTC)

Hello, I have added two pages from main news providers. One from 'Les Echos', french national newspaper, and one from 'Yahoo! Taiwan'. Do you think it is enough ? Thank you for your help. GregoryCouratier (talk) 19:46, 27 January 2009 (UTC)

(un-indent) I have shifted it to the main article space. Thanks for the contributions so far. Good luck with further improving it and adding detail!— Kan8eDie (talk) 21:05, 27 January 2009 (UTC)

John Etnier

Requesting feedback on new page John Etnier. On a technical level, I'm a bit stumped as to why the infobox shows no colored bars for title and background information, but any feedback at all is much appreciated.

I hope it isn't too awfully outré to create what is essentially an autographical page. I tried to keep POV very neutral.

Thanks!

Etnier (talk) 22:44, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Ehh. You're not really supposed to. Just keep a neutral point of view (WP:NPOV), since you have major "conflict of interest" (WP:COI), and restrain from using "peacock terms" that would glorify yourself I think it'll be fine. I'm one of the more lenient people on Wikipedia about edit stuff you're involved with though (other editors say that conflict of interest editing should never happen). If you read WP:ASFAQ#Can I start an article about myself or my company?, it says Wikipedia strongly discourages it (but its never forbidden). Anyways, onto the feedback portion.

• You're off to a nice job of referencing things. However, it'd be nice to see the list of reference that don't have inlince citations, converted to inline citations which cite whatever info they present inside the article. I removed the duplicate references. Some were listed as references with inline citations as well as in the list, so I just removed the duplicate in the latter part.

• You might wanna use a reference for the lead. Something already referenced in the article will do. Because this is an article about yourself, you probably want to cite things like crazy to make sure people don't say you're posting original research (which is a big "no no" here).

• You also might wanna make some sort of reference to your dad in the article (since I see that he also has a Wikipedia page you helped out a lot at).

I looks like a good starting article. Like I said, any info on there should probably be referenced a lot. I think the main thing this article needs is just expansion (of info and references). Good job so far though :-) Killiondude (talk) 07:34, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

---

Thanks so much for this!!! I don't really dare expand the info in the article. Perhaps others may at some time. I just feel it covers its subject to an appropriate depth and that any furthe detail would be vainglorious.

Many thanks!Etnier (talk) 02:04, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

The Foundation for Music and Healing

The Foundation for Music and Healing, Inc.

The Foundation for Music and Healing, Inc., is a charitable, voluntary, non-profit organization. It was founded by Chris Robinson, a private piano instructor in South Bend, Indiana. The motto of the Foundation is bringing the benefits of music to those who never thought it possible. Its mission is to serve exceptional individuals who have special needs. The Foundation provides a safe place where students and their families may experience the joy and comfort of music. This promotes mental and psychological well-being and physical wellness. Instruction in piano, voice, dance movement, guitar and general music activities is provided on a weekly basis to scores of students who range in age from toddlers to adults. Unique environments allow students to demonstrate their personal strengths and gifts in music and song. Families are welcome to participate in and experience the fun and practical value of learning music-making techniques. An innovative mix of broad social and psychological principles is combined with the best of traditional instruction. Individuals are encouraged to expand their range of expression and to further develop their creative talents. 
Distinct from music therapy, services developed by the Foundation for Music and Healing, Inc. are created on an individualized basis. This approach encourages each participant to build “a house of music and movement” in which they can dwell to more successfully meet challenges of everyday life. 
A group of experts are available for consultation to assist individual cases. The Foundation makes programs and services available to a wide range of people throughout the community who have challenging circumstances. Served are exceptional students with special needs. Individual instruction is open to students of all ages who have disabilities or special needs which range from mild to severe. Categories addressed include, (but are not limited to) autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, blindness and visual impaired, cerebral palsy, cognitive disorders, deafness, Down Syndrome, emotional and/or physical trauma, epilepsy and learning disorders. Also, mental retardation, pervasive developmental disorder, physical impairments, speech and hearing disorders, seizures, Spina Bifida, Williams Syndrome and stroke. Many individuals experience multiple challenges. Initial organizing documents to incorporate the Foundation for Music and Healing, Inc. were filed with the Secretary of State in Indiana in December 2003. Prior to this time, no music or fine arts instruction designed on an organized basis specifically for individuals with special needs was offered in the northern Indiana or southwestern Michigan area. An exploratory committee was formed and input was sought from a broad spectrum of community leaders. A newly elected Board of Directors applied to the Internal Revenue Service for non-profit, tax-exempt status, which was officially granted in October 2004. Rev. Theodore M. Hesburgh, C.S.C., President Emeritus of the University of Notre Dame, is Founding Member of the Board of Directors. Other Directors represent a broad cross-section of the community, including business, healthcare, education and the arts. From a single facility, the number of music studios, instructors and students has continued to multiply. Local colleges and universities have participated through a series of programs called Music Masters SM, intended to involve faculty, staff and students. Regular music festivals are conducted in various community sites each year to highlight student accomplishments. Inquiries regarding the Foundation’s services have been received from throughout the United States. The Foundation has assumed the added mission of researching and developing innovative instructional techniques that benefit regular pupils as well as students who have special needs. Books, blogs and other resources designed to enhance teaching techniques are regularly made available to the public. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Musicandhealing (talk • contribs) 18:39, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

User:Santosh77/Subpage Tripp Lite

Hi i have added an article on an organization in the wikipedia as it is the oldest UPS manufacturing company since 1922, Kindly pls provide me feedback on the article if it needs to changed or modified.

User:Santosh77/Subpage

Thanks Santosh Santosh77 (talk) 14:03, 28 January 2009 (UTC)santosh77Santosh77 (talk) 14:03, 28 January 2009 (UTC)

User:Subaculture

First time user. I wrote an article about 'Lugs' Branigan, a tough, hard policeman in Dublin, Ireland in the 40s, 50; 60, 70s. Very well known in Dublin and Ireland, but not outside. I wrote the article n my sandbox, and am how looking for feedback and information on next steps.

User:Subaculture or —Preceding unsigned comment added by 194.81.199.56 (talk) 10:32, 29 January 2009 (UTC) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Subaculture

A good start. There are plenty of books and references to copy this over to the main article space at James Branigan and get editing. The first things to do are to find any related articles and see if you could add appropriate links to the new article, and then on the article itself, maybe using a few more headings might be useful. It looks pretty good though.— Kan8eDie (talk) 14:27, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

User:ZA786/Alvi Armani

This is a page about the hair transplant company: Alvi Armani. I want to make sure it's neutral. 23:11, 28 January 2009 (UTC)~~ ZA786

User:ZA786/Alvi Armani/Origenere

I made this page for the line of hair and skin care products, Origenere. I want to make sure it's neutral. Thanks. 02:10, 29 January 2009 (UTC) ZA786 —Preceding unsigned comment added by ZA786 (talk • contribs) 02:10, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

User:ZA786/Alvi Armani/Alvi Armani Hair Loss Scale

I made this page for the Alvi Armani Hair Loss Scale, a classification chart for male and female pattern baldness. I just want to make sure it's good to go live. Thanks. ZA786 (talk) 02:12, 29 January 2009 (UTC) ZA786

The problem that all of these articles share is that none of them demonstrate the notability of either the man, his chart, or his products. Notability is demonstrated by finding multiple, reliable sources that discuss him or his products, but are not associated with the man himself. His personally maintained websites as well as tabloid newspapers are not considered reliable sources, and these are the only sources that have been provided. For a man making medical products, a reliable source would probably be media coverage (from newspapers or broadcasters, and not tabloids) or reviews of his products in respectable magazines. As for neutrality, the neutral point of view cannot technically be determined when there are no reliable sources, as they define the neutral point of view. If you were to put your articles into mainspace as they are now, they would probably be deleted for lack of notability or even for serving as advertising. Someguy1221 (talk) 11:59, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

Listing a company in the Companies In Houston page

I am so confused as to waht is correct ... I tried to put list a company on the page. I used several other d3scriptions that were on this page as a reference to make sure I was in line.

It was deleted.

I also completely updated the Network Tap page and everything was deleted and the page is written to support one vendor and no tutorial links are allowed???

I would like to develop a page on Network Acces methods - Tap versus SPAN access.

Would this be acceptable?

I have read and reread the conflict of interest plus amny of the other requirements and I believe that this is a fit for wikiPedia.

It actually should be under Network Tap but who ever ius running the site refuses to allow the discussion/tutorial.

I look forward to actually heading from the Team.

Oldcommguy - tim@oldcommguy.com —Preceding unsigned comment added by Oldcommguy (talk • contribs) 21:56, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

Cherita/wikilink

Cherita [pronounced CHAIR-rita] is a Malay word for story or tale. A Cherita consists of a single stanza of one-line verse, followed by a two-line verse, and then finishing with a three-line verse. It was created by ai li, editor of still: home of short verse, on the 22 June 1997.

The Cherita arose out of the English-language haiku and tanka tradition, but is more anecdotal, or nano-narrative, in nature than are the “momentary” haiku and the more lyrical tanka, though it is easily adaptable to lyical expression. It is imagistic in nature, and depends on conciseness and suggestion for its effect.

More about Cherita, as well as examples, can be found on still: home for short verse [1] Winfred Press [2]

Soaphollow (talk) 16:07, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

 —Preceding unsigned comment added by Soaphollow (talk • contribs) 15:35, 4 February 2009 (UTC) 

This looks like WP:original research, or WP:Wikipedia is not for things made up one day. Please do not add it without discussing your sources first.— Kan8eDie (talk) 14:32, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Feedback needed for wikipedia newbie

Please check my one and only article. Is the material ready for submission. Feedback on the content and format would be appreciated.

Thank You, Sayyes1985 (talk) 17:43, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

Soaphollow (talk) 23:36, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

It seems to be heavily pushing the organisation. Could I ask whether you are involved yourself? I suspect this article will need looking into before it goes up.— Kan8eDie (talk) 14:32, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy

How do I improve this article?

Thanks!

Iatpiatp (talk) 16:39, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Well, you could start by following the tags at the top of the article. Your username suggests that you will find it virtually impossible to convince us that you are truly neutral. Please only edit as yourself, and not as part of your employment. We could do with a lot more references: books about you, articles, and so on.— Kan8eDie (talk) 14:35, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Rodgersia

As a new contributor, I am unsure how to proceed with the botanical article which I have finished writing on my home page. (There may be a mistake with the referencing.) Do I have to move the article elsewhere? Thank you for your help. Saxifraga. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Saxifraga (talk • contribs) 10:35, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

It needs quite a bit of cleanup, but I have still moved it to the Rodgersia page. Please do keep working on it there. Thanks for the solid start to the article.— Kan8eDie (talk) 14:50, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Contributed an introduction to Domain-specific_multimodeling

Hi,

as my first wikipedia article, I've written up a fairly comprehensive article on Domain-specific_multimodeling. The format that I've aimed for is the following:

1. intro
2. example
3. problem
4. solution
5. see also and references

Any ideas on improving the content would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers, Ahessellund (talk) 08:28, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Jesuit Missions of the Chiquitos

Request for feedback for an article I wrote from scratch. Being virtually the only author, I am looking for a second opinion on what needs to be improved (apart from language) to get it up to good article standards. bamse (talk) 14:41, 10 February 2009 (UTC)