Wikipedia:Requests for feedback

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Requests for Feedback

This page provides comments and constructive criticism about articles that you have drafted, created, or substantially changed. This is not a general help page. To seek assistance or ask a question, see Wikipedia:Questions. If you are seeking an outside opinion about a dispute, please follow the steps in Wikipedia:Dispute resolution. Please note that this page is patrolled by volunteer editors just like you and it may take several days to review your request.

Before you request feedback

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How to post a request

Place a Wikilink, with the title of the page inside [[ and ]] - for example, [[User:Example/Lipsum]] or [[Cats]] - in the box below. Click Click To Add Request In the new article, Write a brief summary of your work or what in particular you need help with, but do not post the whole article here. If you have rewritten an existing article, you may wish to provide a diff link from that article's history that shows your changes. Check regularly for responses to your request; they will most often be made here. ↓ Post your request using the box below. Replace "Untitled" with a wikilink to your article - e.g. [[User:Example/Lipsum]] or [[Cats]] ↓

After Receiving Feedback

Check back here often, as you will receive a response here. Respond to the feedback, either with a simple thank you, to ask for help with anything mentioned, or, after you've made some of the improvements, what they think of them. Consider helping out here in the future - anyone can read up on what articles should be like and provide constructive criticism.

Are you providing feedback?

Please consider notifying the user whose article you are providing feedback for by placing a message on their talk page, so they will be able to read it in a timely manner and reply if necessary. You can use.. {{Feedbackreply-sm}} A template asking the user to check back here and consider responding {{Feedbackreply-alt}} A more personal version of the first offering your help with developing, moving to mainspace, etc.

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The previous few days of requests are transcluded below. The pages for the past 20 days are: ()

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Index of all requests for feedback

Utah State Route 143

Just created this article, and while I think it's a pretty good start, I would like to get this up to Good Article status eventually. I'm going to try and get a map created for the infobox. What other improvements would you suggest? Thanks in advance. DeFaultRyan 16:13, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

I think it's quite strong overall; good work. The structure and depth of detail seem right on, and it's consistent with the other SRs in Utah. At first I didn't know what this meant: "In 1963, the state legislature reversed the direction of the route, leaving it otherwise unchanged." How do you reverse a public highway? Then I saw your table, with mileage notes for the intersections. Are you referring to mile markers? Were they replaced with markers starting from "zero" at the other terminus? This could use some clarification; it may not be common knowledge for a route to have a "direction".

I notice you've linked "Utah Scenic Byway" and "Forest Service Byway" more than once; my reading of link density is that you should probably just link the first usage. Well done... keep going... Petershank (talk) 19:35, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your input. I clarified the meaning of the term "reversal". This comes from the legislative description of the route. I'm not sure if they put mile markers on state routes back then, but if they did, I imagine they would have replaced/moved them to reflect the new beginning and end points of the route. Well, the two links of byway terms were fairly far apart, but you have a point there. I delinked the terms in the lead-in (to keep the lead-in cleaner) and kept the latter links, although I may elaborate on the actual byway status elsewhere if it would help the article. My gut tells me this is at or close to B-class status, so I might look at submitting it to a more thorough in-project peer review. Thanks again for your insights. Best of luck. DeFaultRyan 21:08, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

Ryan, nice to read an article about a scenic highway. I hope this sets a trend, IMO they are more interesting than urban streets. My advice would be to focus more on the scenic aspects, rather than a turn-by-turn description. Unfortunately, I know that's tougher as you can hit WP:OR concerns. But I'd recommend to at least try. www.utah.com has articles about all officially declared scenic highways in the state, and meets WP:RS standards. I'd check them out.

Question, Is it really notable that the legislature reversed the legislative description? I know that's not the first time this has happened. The impression I get, is it's just a case of the legislature changing the description to conform with the modern convention that roads begin in the south/west and end in the north/east.

Putting the roadgeek hat on. =-) State Route 1 was only a paperwork designation, no highway was signed as such. Someone looking for State Route 1 on a Utah highway map won't find it. Also, The link to SR-1 in the history section points to Interstate 15. This is not technically correct, as the Interstate Highway System didn't yet exist in 1953. At this point in time, SR-1 was the internal state paperwork designation for U.S. Route 91. As such, I would just say US-91 and maybe put (SR-1) next to it, as this is what period maps would show. I'd also advise to search period newspapers for history of the lake and other scenic features that would relate to the highway. The legislative changes are a part of the history that can't be ignored, but that is not all the history behind the road.

That's some quick feedback, hope it helps. Dave (talk) 01:46, 17 July 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, that will help a lot. Most of my work on the highway projects has been more along the lines of starting new articles and making minor tweaks/expansions to existing ones. I haven't been as involved with GA-level enhancements, so this will help me get a feel for what makes a high-quality highway article. See you around Dave. DeFaultRyan 20:50, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

(new indent thread)
I just rewrote the route description to incorporate your suggestions and did some other cleanup/tweaking. Still working on broadening the history section more (to include pre-legislative route history and history of the immediate area). How's it looking now? DeFaultRyan 19:16, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

I like the latest changes. Good luck.Dave (talk) 04:44, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

CITY College, International Faculty of the University of Sheffield

To whom it may concern

I posted and article under the name of User:Floropolou for the CITY College, International Faculty of the University of Sheffield. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Floropoulou

I would like to get a feedback if the article is appropriate and valid to be published regarding to its content? The name of article should be CITY College, International Faculty of the University of Sheffield.

Many thanks in advance. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Floropoulou (talk • contribs) 10:25, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

Founding Fathers

I just viewed the article "Founding Fathers" and note it includes within its definition a bunch of nonsense. The Founding Fathers were not every Tom, Dick, and Harry who lived in the USA in 1787, when the Constitutional Convention was held. The Founding Fathers are the fifty-five men who in secret drafted the founding document upon which the government of the United States of America was and is founded. The United States of America did not exist until 1788 when it was ratified by the states. There is only one Constitution for the nation which now exists as the United States of America and the men who wrote it are the Founding Fathers of the United States of America. Please, read Webster's Dictionary for the definition of Founding Fathers, with capital Fs.

The Declaration of Independence, for example, was a declaration of independence from King George, not the founding document of the United States of America.

Gene Garman —Preceding unsigned comment added by Gene Garman (talk • contribs) 05:40, 26 July 2009 (UTC)

I agree about capitalizing the Fs, but the declaration was in fact the precursor to the establishment of a nation (on paper, the constitution). Though many people do get these documents confused, for instance Jefferson states the 'all men are created equal' in the declaration, not in the Constitution (though it should have been) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Saberhr1 (talk • contribs) 06:23, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Definitions

This is with regards mostly to the science and mathematics related articles. If at all possible, if simpler definitions could be given for the more advanced terms, such as Planck's Constant, that would be greatly appriciated. See, I my current level of education is a High-School equivalent, but I very much enjoy studying the advanced conepts. This would help me to understand better. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 68.231.211.87 (talk) 05:10, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

You may wish to see if the Simple English Wikipedia has an easier article. Malinaccier (talk) 21:23, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

Article on Thera Rising, Inc.

Hi there! My name's Ben and I'm the Marketing and Research Director for Thera Rising, Inc., a small St. Paul-based company. I'm looking at writing a Wikipedia article for the business, but I want to be very sure that I follow the posting criteria so that it doesn't come off looking like a marketing piece. Furthermore, this is my first Wikipedia article, so the formatting may not be perfect. It would really be great if I could get some feedback before I move the article over to live. You can see the draft that I saved to my user page here.

Thanks for your time! If you have any comments/criticisms/suggestions, please let me know!

(I think I got the signature to automatically link to my user page, but if not, here it is. Not that there's much there anyways.) —Preceding unsigned comment added by BenMMartin (talk • contribs) 17:24, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

So far you have no outside references. There are three citations, but all to your own company. You need to read wp:COI. Some editors may feel your position makes it impossible to directly contribute. The usual advice in the case of an existing article is to suggest that a contributor make suggestions and cite sources on the talk page, while letting other editors make the actual edits. That advice doesn't work in this case. I wish I could be more positive.--SPhilbrickT 02:06, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geographers_on_Film

I am working on creating this page for what can be an important academic resource for educators in the field of geographic thought, and though I have reliable references and resources, including professional publications and annals of the Association of American Geographers, I cannot figure out how/where to add them. As you will see, the editors are calling for citations and reliable sources. Can anyone offer advice to this Wiki novice? Thanks, Wes —Preceding unsigned comment added by Wesdow (talk • contribs) 02:49, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

I added the reflist, which is key to seeing the citations. Check out wp:cite. I find it very useful to use an option Citation tool, which you can add by going to your preferences, (see the link at the top of the page), go to Gadgets, and click "reftools". That will add a tab at the end of your editing buttons; click on it and enter the relevant fields and it will create a citation for you. Place the citation in the main article, when you save, the footnote number will appear in the article, and the citaiton itself will show below "Notes".--SPhilbrickT 02:22, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

International Foudation for Electoral Systems

I could really use some feedback at least on the quality of this article(please assess), or what I should do to improve it. Thank you much for your help, SADADS (talk) 13:56, 7 August 2009 (UTC)