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Revision as of 19:49, 9 January 2012

Hotel Polen fire

Nominator(s): S_peakF_ree ^(talk)_(contribs) 02:12, 9 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because it is currently a Good Article and after addressing the issues raised at Peer Review I believe this article is ready to become a Featured Article. I have translated this article from the Dutch Wikipedia and significantly expanded it. S_peakF_ree ^(talk)_(contribs) 02:12, 9 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments, leaning to oppose: a very interesting subject, but I just don't think this article is ready yet. I see quite a few issues with the prose, which may stem from it being translated? Some examples:

Hotel Polen (English: Hotel Poland), a hotel in the centre of Amsterdam burned to the ground. -- This reads very strangely, and it's somewhat repetitive from the first sentence, which already establishes that the Hotel Polen fire took place in Amsterdam.
The lead does not fulfill WP:LEAD, in that it does not summarize the article as a whole. Consider expanding to include information regarding the fire's cause and cultural impact.
In the beginning of the 16th century there was an inn on the site where the Hotel Polen later was located. -- Very awkward; "was later located".
At the end of the 18th century the "Poolsche Koffiehuis" (English: Polish Coffee House) -- Probably incorrect per MOS:FOREIGN and/or WP:ITALICS: Poolsche Koffiehuis and "Polish Coffee House", I think? (Check just to be sure!)
In 1891, the Hotel Polen was established by the "Maatschappij tot Exploitatie van het Poolsche Koffiehuis" (English: Polish Coffee House Society)[6] after the adjacent space on the Rokin was bought and a building was constructed there which had been designed by the architect Pierre Cuypers,[6][7] who also designed the Amsterdam Central Station and the Rijksmuseum. -- Borderline run-on, break into several sentences.
On the ground level of the building a café-restaurant was opened. -- Syntax: A café-restaurant was opened on the ground level of the building."
The Hotel Polen was once known as a fashionable hotel. -- Redundancy of "Hotel... hotel". Establishment? Business?
The building had nevertheless been inspected by the fire department and deemed safe. -- When?
They did issue a list of proposed improvements to be implemented by the hotel. -- Such as?

These comments cover only the lead and the first section ("History"), so there are other outstanding issues aside from what's listed here. I would suggest getting a few independent copy-edits, especially from those who have experience with writing/reviewing FAs. You can also ask for a reviewer or two at WP:GOCE; it seems they even have a section for hopeful Featured Articles, so hopefully you'll get an in depth review of the prose. The article just isn't at FA level yet, but like I said it's a very good subject, so it's worth the effort. My suggestion would be work on the prose, make some new copy-editor friends, perhaps go through another PR, and then make your way back here when ready. Good luck! María (yllo submarine) 19:49, 9 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

@@ Line 8: / Line 8: @@
 I am nominating this for featured article because it is currently a Good Article and after addressing the issues raised at [[Wikipedia:Peer review/Hotel Polen fire/archive1|Peer Review]] I believe this article is ready to become a Featured Article. I have translated this article from the Dutch Wikipedia and significantly expanded it. [[User:SpeakFree|'''S'''<sub>peak</sub>'''F'''<sub>ree</sub>]] <sup>[[User talk:SpeakFree|(talk)]]</sup><sub>([[Special:Contributions/SpeakFree|contribs]])</sub> 02:12, 9 January 2012 (UTC)
+*'''Comments, leaning to oppose''': a very interesting subject, but I just don't think this article is ready yet.  I see quite a few issues with the prose, which may stem from it being translated?  Some examples:
+:*''Hotel Polen (English: Hotel Poland), a hotel in the centre of Amsterdam burned to the ground.'' -- This reads very strangely, and it's somewhat repetitive from the first sentence, which already establishes that the Hotel Polen fire took place in Amsterdam.
+:*The lead does not fulfill [[WP:LEAD]], in that it does not summarize the article as a whole.  Consider expanding to include information regarding the fire's cause and cultural impact.
+:*''In the beginning of the 16th century there was an inn on the site where the Hotel Polen later was located.'' -- Very awkward; "was later located".
+:*''At the end of the 18th century the "Poolsche Koffiehuis" (English: Polish Coffee House)'' -- Probably incorrect per [[MOS:FOREIGN]] and/or [[WP:ITALICS]]: ''Poolsche Koffiehuis'' and "Polish Coffee House", I think? (Check just to be sure!)
+:*''In 1891, the Hotel Polen was established by the "Maatschappij tot Exploitatie van het Poolsche Koffiehuis" (English: Polish Coffee House Society)[6] after the adjacent space on the Rokin was bought and a building was constructed there which had been designed by the architect Pierre Cuypers,[6][7] who also designed the Amsterdam Central Station and the Rijksmuseum.'' -- Borderline run-on, break into several sentences.
+:*''On the ground level of the building a café-restaurant was opened.'' -- Syntax: A café-restaurant was opened on the ground level of the building."
+:*''The Hotel Polen was once known as a fashionable hotel.'' -- Redundancy of "Hotel... hotel".  Establishment?  Business?
+:*''The building had nevertheless been inspected by the fire department and deemed safe.'' -- When?
+:*''They did issue a list of proposed improvements to be implemented by the hotel.'' -- Such as?
+These comments cover only the lead and the first section ("History"), so there are other outstanding issues aside from what's listed here.  I would suggest getting a few independent copy-edits, especially from those who have experience with writing/reviewing FAs.  You can also ask for a reviewer or two at [[WP:GOCE]]; it seems they even have a section for hopeful Featured Articles, so hopefully you'll get an in depth review of the prose.  The article just isn't at FA level yet, but like I said it's a very good subject, so it's worth the effort.  My suggestion would be work on the prose, make some new copy-editor friends, perhaps go through another PR, and then make your way back here when ready.  Good luck! <span style="font-family:verdana">[[User:Yllosubmarine|María]] </span><small>([[User talk:Yllosubmarine|<span style="color:red">yllo</span>]][[Special:Contributions/Yllosubmarine|<span style="color:green">submarine</span>]])</small> 19:49, 9 January 2012 (UTC)