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::{{tq|Schumer previously supported civil unions. At a private <s>[[risotto]]</s> dinner with gay leaders at the Gramercy Tavern on March 22, 2009{{nbsp}}...}}
::{{tq|Schumer previously supported civil unions. At a private <s>[[risotto]]</s> dinner with gay leaders at the Gramercy Tavern on March 22, 2009{{nbsp}}...}}


:Comment: This actually illustrates the opposite of the Principle of Some Astonishment{{snd}}we'll call it the '''Principle of Complete Puzzlement''' i.e. some details don't belong because, though neither obvious nor even predictable, they have no hope of adding to the reader's understanding of the subject because they're completely random and even uninterpretable. What in the world does the risotto have to do with anything? Is this the gay version of the classic pancake breakfast? Why aren't you telling us what wine was served?
:Comment: This actually illustrates the opposite of the Principle of Some Astonishment{{snd}}we'll call it the '''Principle of Complete Puzzlement''' i.e. some details don't belong because, though neither obvious nor even predictable, they have no hope of adding to the reader's understanding of the subject because they're completely random and even uninterpretable. What in the world does the risotto have to do with anything? Why aren't you telling us what wine was served?





Revision as of 00:17, 28 February 2017

Concision makes for good writing. Sometimes editors clutter their prose with pedestrian details that the reader likely knows already or would naturally assume. Far from making the page more informative, this wastes the reader's time and brainpower. If it doesn't convey useful information, omit it!

Here are some examples of articles belaboring the painfully obvious:


You mean the game pieces can be stored for later use? I'm astonished!
In the article Pick-up sticks:
At the end of play, points are tallied up and the pieces can be thrown again or stored in a container for another use.
Comment: Of course the points are tallied up at the end of the game. Of course players can either play again or put the game away "in a container". (If the rules said to ignore the score sheet at the end, then called for players to burn the game pieces or use them to commit ritual suicide, THAT would be worth mentioning in the article.)


In the article US Airways Flight 1549:
Sullenberger asked if they could attempt an emergency landing in New Jersey, mentioning Teterboro Airport ... air traffic controllers quickly contacted Teterboro and gained permission for a landing on Runway 1
Comment: The word quickly is superfluous, because our readers' innate cunning will inform them that controllers generally act with dispatch in such situations. (Had they instead been lackadaisical, THAT would be worth mentioning in the article.)
However, Sullenberger told controllers that "We can't do it," and "We're gonna be in the Hudson," signaling his intention to bring the plane down on the Hudson River because he was too low to glide to any airport.
Comment: The part from "signalling his intention ..." on is probably unnecessary, because our readers aren't mentally defective. They will conclude without being told that when Sullenberger said "We can't do it ... We're gonna be in the Hudson", he's hinting that (a) he's going to land on the Hudson and (b) he's taking this unconventional step because more orthodox landing sites are out of reach. (Had he instead done it because he wanted a bath, THAT would be worth mentioning in the article.)
Immediately after the A320 had been ditched, Sullenberger opened the cockpit door and gave the "evacuate" order.
Comment: The immediately bit seems unnecessary. (Had the captain made a cup of tea before ordering "Evacuate!", THAT would be worth mentioning in the article.)
The first fire chief on scene transmitted a "10-60" to confirm a major emergency.
Comment: If the fire chief, seeing people crowded onto the wings of a sinking airliner, had radioed, "False alarm – no big deal", THAT would be worth mentioning in the article.


In the article University_of_Texas_Tower_Shooting:
He then drove to a hardware store, where he purchased a Universal M1 carbine, two additional ammunition magazines and eight boxes of ammunition, telling the cashier he planned to hunt wild hogs. At a gun shop he purchased four further carbine magazines, six additional boxes of ammunition, and a can of gun cleaning solvent. He then drove to Sears, where he purchased a Sears Model 60 12 gauge semi-automatic shotgun before returning home with his purchases.
Comment: If he'd bought all that stuff and then left it at the store, THAT would be worth mentioning in the article.


In the article Charles Whitman:
Whitman was reportedly the youngest person in the world ever to become an Eagle Scout at that time.
Comment: Are people becoming Eagle Scouts elsewhere than "in the world"? Perhaps on Mars?


In the article Donald Trump:
A view of the Turnberry Hotel, in Ayrshire, Scotland



Comment: The reader will know without being told that this is a "view".

View of the crowd attending a Trump rally in the U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio on October 13, 2016



Comment: We're safe in assuming that the reader will intuit that this "view" shows a "crowd".


In the article Harry Elkins Widener:
Harry Elkins Widener
Harry Elkins Widener
Born(1885-01-03)January 3, 1885
DiedApril 15, 1912(1912-04-15) (aged 27)
Known forNamesake of Harry Elkins Widener Memorial Library
Signature
Comment: Did I mention that it's Harry Elkins Widener?
(Contrary to popular opinion, not every image needs a caption, and that's certainly true when the image is in an infobox adorned with a title that already provides an adequate description. Alternatively, the caption might be changed to Widener in 1910, or even more simply, In 1910.)


In the article Chuck Shumer:
Schumer previously supported civil unions. At a private risotto dinner with gay leaders at the Gramercy Tavern on March 22, 2009 ...
Comment: This actually illustrates the opposite of the Principle of Some Astonishment – we'll call it the Principle of Complete Puzzlement i.e. some details don't belong because, though neither obvious nor even predictable, they have no hope of adding to the reader's understanding of the subject because they're completely random and even uninterpretable. What in the world does the risotto have to do with anything? Why aren't you telling us what wine was served?