Talk:Stafford

Areas

Is the 'areas' section really necessary? It could be vastly improved, and i would be willing to do this (perhaps moulding it around the town council wards?), but i would like some other input from more experienced users before i set about the task. JamesDanielMartin 19:27, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

Hi James, It is general to put an Areas page on a town page such as this. There is also a Stafford (borough) page about the Borough so as to keep the details apart. You might be interested in Wikipedia talk:WikiProject UK geography/How to write about settlements as a guide. Cheers, Regan123 23:31, 14 January 2007 (UTC)

For the population of Stafford to be listed as 120,000 is ridiculous; I, and anyone else who lives in the TOWN, as opposed to the Borough, would prefer the previously stated 60,000 figure to be restored. It's pointless including Stone, Gnosall, Weston and other places many miles distant in the TOWN population. Stone, for example, is about eight miles from Stafford and the two are separated by several miles of countryside, it's not an urban sprawl. There is already an entry for Stafford (Borough) which quotes the population of said district to be 123,600.

Please restore the correct population for our town.

I've changed the population figure to that of the Stafford Urban Area as defined by the ONS in the 2001 census. That figure is 63,681. Fingerpuppet 18:52, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

The change doesn't seem to have taken effect - the Stafford page actually shows TWO populations, neither of which is 63,681. The main text shows 124,531 and the side box shows 120,553. Of course, AKAboth of these are the population (at various times) of the borough, which is shown with yeta different figure (123,600) in the Stafford (Borough) entry. Let's have just one (presumably 124,531 is right) listed in the borough piece and 63,681 listed for Stafford town.

Healthcare

The comment that Stafford is divided into multiple PCTs, each served by a GP is a drastic misunderstanding of the whole PCT system. I really wish people would bother doing the research.

Stafford is covered by the south staffs PCT[1] which consists of 98 practices! [Alex] —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 86.128.159.11 (talk) 16:49, 21 January 2007 (UTC).

Stafford's very own Urban Myth. Lilac Aki

For a couple of years now i have been hearing about Stafford's very own Urban Myth, Lilac Aki. Well last Friday i met him in the flesh. I was walking along the Wolverhampton Road when out from the shadows came a mad man in a hi-vis vest shouting "I've got the digits man, I've got the digits" This was at 4 in the morning. I was terrified. He then walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder and kept saying over and over again "Bless ya, Bless ya" he was acting like he had been drinking Pete Doherty's piss (That bloke who is shagging Kate Moss)Anyway he told me to stop still, then he got his mobile phone out (It never rang) and pretended he was talking to a girl from Rugeley saying things like "Of course i'll take on your kids bab, of course i will, meet me at Trent Vally Station in 5" into a phone i don't even think was switched on. I kept telling this loon that i had to go home but he started telling me his life story about how he nearly made it big as an actor just missing out on the heart throb role in Crossroads( To some bloke called Adam Chance who had a tashe and was always seen in a blazer according to him)You have to remember that he looks like a cross between Mr Motivator and that bloke out of the Nat West adverts. I was shitting it. Really scared by now. Lucky for me two 40+ mingers came into view and he said "Watch this Kidda" He then shouts "Your Beautiful, Your Beautiful" and started doing a ridiculous walk (Like the Pink Panther) over to these biddies. He walks like he has his foot in a bucket. This was my moment, The last thing i heard was one of the mingers saying " If you don't fuck off Lilac Aki i will get my lad to straighten out your copper tooth". Be warned Stafford. I told the lads at work and one of them said that he had seen him on a train a week before Christmas, a group of lads on the lash were taking the piss out of his top because it looked like a girls blouse, he kept saing it was Versace. They were shouting Purple Aki Aki Aki Oi Oi Oi!To this he started shadow boxing and screaming "I will destroy you,the lot of you, i will, i will.

I heard that this mythical legend would rub cucumber oil in to his bald head to keep it wrinkle free, and often seen carring out this strange skin care pratice outside the green grosers in mill street.

I have heard the rumours of this urban myth, but i heard that he kept some very strange friends. The main friend of his was a lad he works with , they call themselves the undertaker twins. They dress up in high visual clothing(railway clothing)but with undertaker top hats(strange men indeed).

      His very best friend was another man who originated from woverhampton, the famous network nick. They were both railway anoraks but there friendship fell apart when lilac aki stole his british rail baseball cap.
       Lilac aki wears a gold and black silky cape, black shirt, black trousers, and black winkle picker shoes with a 4inch cuban heel, he his very tall anyway but with these high heel shoes he looks about 9ft tall.
        The last anyone saw of lilac he was outside the westway pub in highfield with a mother/daughter combo called the krankies.They were break dancing on the car park when a brummie lad called monkey pumped up the volume on his car cd player, and they had a mini rave. They then started pole dancing around a street lamp with a borat look a like called wakefield Den.

is this the same lilac aki that got put on his arse in chester by a miget

Yeah, That's him. A small bloke bit him on the shin and now he has a wooden leg. It went septic according to my mums aunt who used to go with him years ago before he started rubbing "black raven" AKA boot polish into his facial hair to color in the white)

We all remember the tale of when Lilac Aki went mad at a young lad in a paper-shop because he wanted to buy The Daily Star instead of his favorite rag " The Voice". Lilac was dressed in cycling shorts, white socks and trainers, bum bag and a Glen Medeiros 1984 tour vest. Then he started doing Star Jumps while singing "Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You" by Medeiros. The lad had to be comforted by the woman who worked at the Post Office section of the shop.

He is 56 and has got a wooden leg.

I once saw a guy that sounds like this Lilac Aki. He had joined in a kick-around with some lads over in Rowley Park,(a sports ground in Stafford.) He was standing in the centre of the pitch wearing what looked like an enormous tea-bag for a vest and some shorts he'd probably stolen off a small boy. Anyway he seemed slightly more interested in watching these lads running around than playing football, it must be the male bodies covered in sweat that do it for him; but if I'm not mistaken this 'Monkey' lad was there and he seemed to be arguing with Lilac about the game. Lilac was shouting 'Open the gate' (whatever that means) and this lad was shouting about Lilac having breadcrumbs on his shoes that had fallen off his chicken legs. There was also some bird at the side of the pitch that was abusing Lilac, he obviously wasn't welcome in the game, calling him a stupid yam yam c*@t. Thought I'd share my sighting with all you Lilac Spotters.

i too know this strange man - if thats the right word to use, i have known of him for some time and seen him in all guises of dress and ill states, it is true - he his 9' tall but walks with a very pronounced stoop and cocks his hand in a weird and rather gay way. someone earlier mentioned his fetish for railway clothes, i too have seen him in such attire, he looks like a Terrys chocolate orange. he has the strange ability to get slapped by older women when he is out, this happens most weeekends as he endevours to woo them back to his racid hell hole. he can be seen daily on the tv - hired by KFC for their new "spicy chicken legs" ad Gold teeth and cheap gold jewelery make him stand out and the fact "he stinks like sheeeeet" approach him with caution and aviod any bodily contact