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Talk:Thornlie line/GA1

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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Commander Keane (talk | contribs) at 10:43, 3 March 2024 (→‎External links: commons cat?). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

GA Review

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Reviewer: Commander Keane (talk · contribs) 08:52, 3 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]


I am looking forward to reviewing this article. It is my first GA review. I have lived in Perth previously but I am unfamiliar with the subject. I read and edit on both mobile and desktop so my comments may be influenced by that. I consider suggestions I make to be open to discussion.--Commander Keane (talk) 08:52, 3 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Lead + infobox

  • I would consider adding an opening date to the first paragraph to give the reader some context on how old the line is. I know it is in the second paragraph but you need to scroll past the infobox on mobile to get to the second paragraph.
  • Similarly I would consider adding a very brief reason as to why the line is suspended in the first paragraph.
  • The project is being built - perhaps "is currently being built".
  • construction of two new stations along the way - perhaps drop the "along the way".
  • I am not sure what the guidelines are for putting the currencies as "A$716 million" rather than just "$716 million", I will put a note here so I remember to check.
  • The current infobox picture looks like the station is under construction. I would consider adding a date to the caption to let the reader know it is a few years old, or perhaps use a different photo.
  • The infobox says "Closed" 20 November 2023 implying that the line won't reopen, maybe that can be adjusted.

History

  • Not really a history thing, but overall I think some kind of map or something like {{Channel Tunnel RDT}} would be helpful for reader comprehension. I know it is a big ask.
Spur to Thornlie
  • For the image caption The Thornlie line diverging I would consider adding a "(left)" or "(centre)" to indicate which line is the Thornlie and which is the Armadale.
  • It was decided to build the Thornlie line though as a... perhaps drop the "though" or add a comma somewhere.
  • I would consider wikilinking "grade separated" as readers may not be familiar with the term. Also maybe link "noise walls" to Noise barrier
  • Kewdale White Oil Line - I was not sure what "White Oil Line" is and the source only mentions light crude.
Thornlie–Cockburn Link extension
  • ...if it won the 2013 state election seems a little confusing, is it possible to add somehow that they lost the election, otherwise it implies they won and the plan went ahead.
  • having a station at Ranford Road and Nicholson Road - should that be "having stations at..."?
  • And just after that, the use of a semicolon makes a very long sentence, is it possible to break that up into two sentences (I am not a grammar expert though).
  • Instead of piping "Park and ride" to "large car park" I would consider leaving it as "park and ride" for better reader understanding of the purpose of the car park.
  • Thornlie station was to have its platforms extended to 150 metres - maybe "platform's length extended"
  • an increase on the $474 million originally promised - maybe say who made the promise here so the reader doesn't have to scroll up to find out.
  • This one was designed - maybe "The new bridge" would sound more professional.
  • Between 1997 and 1998, a second... comes out of the blue to me as we are discussing 2021 but then jump back. I would consider rearranging the paragraph as the multiple bridge situation was confusing me. Perhaps start the sentence with "The second bridge at Ranford Road across the railway was built between 1997 and 1998"
  • I know the year has just begun but is there any update on ...and it is planned to open in 2023. Did it open?
  • A $243.8 million cost increase - maybe "A further $243.8 million..."
Future
  • I would consider adding a source to this sentence, like "According to the Perth and Peel@3.5million plan..."
  • Also, a note to myself about if GAN can be passed if they are expected to be updated heavily in the near future as this project is underway
Description
  • Thornlie line trains stopped at... - maybe "Until temporary closure Thornlie line trains stopped at..."
  • I would consider linking "Armadale line" in the Stations subsection as there is a lack of blue links in that area and a reader may be interested in the Armadale line at that point in the article.
Service
  • Again, a date in the image caption would be something to consider (could just be my personal preference though).
  • I would consider wikilinking "PTA" in the first sentence or expanding it.
  • when they ran every 30 minutes instead - "instead" may be redundant.
  • which typically skips most... - I think it should be "skip"
  • Armadale_line#Patronage - I have seen a fancy symbol used instead of "#" in some places in Wikipedia, need to look into that.
External links
  • on the New MetroRail website archive - could be "on the New MetroRail website (archive)" so the reader at least gets a hint they are not visiting an official website.
  • There appear to be a few relevant photos, is there a Commons category to link to?
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