Douche and Turd
| "Douche and Turd" |
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"Douche and Turd" is episode 119 of South Park. It was originally broadcast on October 27, 2004, just before the United States presidential election, 2004. The episode is a commentary on the pointlessness of voting for either of the 2004 presidential candidates, a 'Giant Douche' or a 'Turd Sandwich'.
Plot
During a pep rally at the South Park Elementary School, a local PETA group protests the use of a cow as a mascot. The school agrees to pick a new mascot, and the students are told to vote for said new mascot. Embarrassed by the bland choices, the kids decide to fill in a joke candidate but disagree as to whether it should be a "giant douche" or a "turd sandwich." Kyle rallies his friends to fill in the giant douche, and Eric gathers support for the turd sandwich. Cartman wins Butters Stotch's support (by slanting the question when asking Butters which of the two choices was funnier). The result is a tie between the two joke candidates and a runoff election is to be held.
Stan decides that he doesn't like either candidate, and declares that he won't vote at all, much to everyone's dismay. Stan is equally dismayed, wondering why anyone would care about such a pointless exercise. This results in Kyle calling on Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs who intimidates Stan with a literal Vote or Die campaign. Meanwhile the campaign continues, with the turd sandwich supporters rallying against the giant douche supporters, using bribes and scare tactics to gain support.
By the time of the election, Kyle has convinced Stan to vote. While in the process, Stan realizes Kyle only wanted him to vote in order for giant douche to win. Disgusted, Stan once again refuses to vote. The school administration decides that Stan must be banished from the town for all eternity or until he decides that voting is important. He's spat on by the townspeople before being placed on a horse, bound with a bucket over his head, and sent off into the woods.
Stan is eventually released by the PETA members when reaches their compound and they attempt to save the horse. Here he finds that the humans have grown intimate with the animals to the point of bestiality. Stan is unable to fit in at PETA, explaining his trouble to the leader of PETA. The PETA's leader teaches him that an election is always between the giant douche and a turd sandwich, because they're the only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics. P. Daddy shows up at the camp to kill Stan, but is distracted by a PETA member who throws a bucket of red paint on his fur coat. This angers him, and he takes his rage out on the PETA camp, with him and his posse killing all the members. Stan manages to escape the melee and flees the camp.
Returning to South Park, Stan is finally convinced to vote and chooses turd sandwich. Despite adding his vote to the tally, the giant douche still wins the vote 1410 to 36. Stan is initially dismayed that his vote didn't matter, but Randy informs his son that all votes matter even if it's for the losing side. Suddenly Mr. Garrison runs in with the news that the PETA members have been discovered murdered. As a result, the cow is reinstated as South Park Elementary School's mascot. Randy tells Stan that now his vote didn't matter.
The credits are played to a takeoff of the Rock the Vote theme, suitably reworded:
- Let's get out and vote!
- Let's make our voices heard.
- We've been given the right to choose,
- between a douche and a turd.
- It’s democracy in action!
- Put your freedom to the test.
- A big fat turd or a stupid douche,
- which do you like best?
Goofs
The character of Puff Daddy, voiced by Trey Parker, makes three appearences in the episode, in his first appearence he has a stereotypical aferican american voice, but in his last two appearences, it changes to a dark british voice.
References to the 2004 U.S. Presidential Election
- During the 2004 US presidential election, music mogul Diddy's "get out the vote" slogan really was "Vote or Die!".
- The debate between Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich is moderated by Jim Lehrer. The real-life first debate between John Kerry and George W. Bush was also moderated by him.