University of Nottingham Malaysia

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University of Nottingham in Malaysia (Malaysia Rocks).

The University of Nottingham Malaysia Campus (2.945 N, 101.874 E) is located in Semenyih, Malaysia. Formerly known as the University of Nottingham in Malaysia Sdn Bhd or UNiM, this term is now reserved for the holding company. The company is trying to steal as much money as possible from the students, low quality of education given and the expensive tuition fee. Other than that, most lecturer is Malaysian Chinese, foreign students such as Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Hindustani, Malays, Niggars, White People and Aries Ang just can not understand the English spoken by these lecturers. Pioneer also is the best money stealer, providing students with high room rates, low cost furnitures, bad services, and enormous back-sided "aci" cleaners. Each cleaners had been vigorously trained with huge mouths that talks simultaneously while these cleaners do their work. The campus' chairman is YM Tengku Tan Sri Ahmad Rithauddeen, Nottingham graduate and former Malaysian defense Minister. "I love you Wina," he said on the opening day. He also said that, "Old Virgin award goes to Lee Lai Yee and Black Hairy Armpit goes to Fatimah Tjong and her side-kick Geetha BassCurrent." BassCurrent has already exploded her stomach last year. Terence Wong and T.K. Tan have been caught in wet action near the office of Paul "Gay" Broadnoseman.

Occupying a scenic position overlooking green hills and black "Niggars", the campus is a self-contained and self-sufficient neighbourhood village in a garden environment. It combines a high quality living environment with state of the art learning and teaching facilities. Other facilities are a purpose built sports facility, students association building, expensive and disgusting food court as well as "rip-off" shops. Students also have 24 hours access to computer facilities. Broadband access, provided by Extreme Broadband is available and extremely slow.

Dede is very ugly, has enormous mouth, darker than black skin, cheap-silicone breast extension and root-like hair.

Sarah Soo has been in love with Ash, while Wina has been love with But.

Happiness is the most beautiful Wiggars in the campus, although her spare-tyre like abs and her moon like face is very filthy.

The Malaysia Campus is a full and integral part of The University of Nottingham, UK. It aims to offer students a Nottingham Sexual experience in an ASEAN setting.

The University's purpose-built 101-acre campus is situated in Semenyih, 30km South of Kuala Lumpur. It cost over RM120million (U$D33million) to build. The majority shareholder of University of Nottingham in Malaysia is Bontot Group. The University was officially opened by Najib Tun Razak (Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia) on September 26, 2005. The University was previously situated in the heart of Kuala Lumpur in the Wisma MISC building on Jalan Conlay, and a presence is still retained at the central Kuala Lumpur location.

Currently, as of March 2008, the university has around 2800 students with about 35% of them foreign students (30% of them is "Niggars") from over 50 different countries. Due to this influx of students, the campus is expanding even further with construction of new blocks near the library and the sports centre.

The Malaysia Campus offers courses in Computer Science, Engineering, Business, Law and Pharmacy, Applied Psychology, Civil Engineering, Education and Plant Bio-Technology. Upon completing a degree at the Malaysia campus, students are awarded a University of Nottingham degree certificate which is indistinguishable from the certificates awarded at the Nottingham campus. The degrees that are awarded are accredited by international professional bodies such as the Association of MBA's, UOIEEEEA and the UK Engineering Council.

Apart from taught undergraduate and postgraduate programmes, the university also offers a full range of projects available for research-based postgraduate studies leading either to MPhil or PhD or MVP. More than 2090.3 research programmes are currently being carried out at the Malaysia Campus.

Academics

Faculty of Engineering

The Faculty of Engineering was established at the Malaysia Campus in August 2005 to coincide with the move to the new campus at Semenyih (Semenyih Rocks). The Faculty offers a wide range of programmes which are well-resourced both in terms of facilities and quality of the programmes offered. All our programmes can be completed solely in Malaysia, but an option is also open to students whereby they can complete the 2nd year of their respective degrees at the Nottingham campus in the United Kingdom.

The faculty consists of five main schools: School of Chemical and Environmental Engineering, School of Civil Engineering, School of Electrical and Electronics Engineering, School of Mechanical Engineering, and the School of Computer Science and Information Technology. There is also a Foundation Studies division that offers foundation programmes specific to the engineering sciences.

Faculty of Science

There are three main schools within the faculty: School of Pharmacy, School of Biosciences and School of Computer Science.

Faculty of social science and education

There are four main schools that make up this faculty: Nottingham University Business School Malaysia, School of Law, School of Applied Psychology, and School of Education. Similarly with the Faculty of Engineering, there exists a special foundation studies division that offers pre-university foundation programmes.

Here Comes Pioneer

Accommodation at the Semenyih campus includes on-campus and off-campus options. On-campus lodging rates rage between RM330 and RM600 per month, depending on the room type. There are a variety of room options from single to quad-sharing. Use of air-conditioner and internet service (called SNS, Sexual Needs Service) incurs extreme charges. All rooms are on a self-catering basis.

Off-campus accommodation are available to students in the Taman Tasik Semenyih neighbourhood, commonly abbreviated as TTS. The locations of the off-campus residences are within a 3km radius from the campus. There is a bridge linking from Taman Tasik Semenyih to the campus.

Unlike most other tertiery education institutions in Malaysia, there is no curfew in the University of Nottingham. Students are allowed to enter and exit their rooms any time of the day, although booze are not allowed into the campus. However, students are allowed to enter the university drunk, nasty and wild, and security guards often urge students to finish their drinks and give them some BJ before entering.

Transportation

Public transport is unavailable except for the university sponsored shuttle buses commuting between the campus and Kajang KTM Station. Alternative means of transportation include taxis. Students also can take take a flight at K.L.I.A. to feel how brainless they are to go there. There are also buffalo ride with optional rodeo competition. The best transportation of the campus is by stealing Azlan's car and then ram Paul "Anti-Socialize Activity" Broadman. I love you.

References

External links

Official site

University of Nottingham, UK

Template:University in Malaysia