Burnistoun

Burnistoun
Genre	Sketch show
Directed by	Iain Davidson
Starring	Robert Florence Iain Connell Louise Stewart Kirsty Strain Allan Miller Richard Rankin
Theme music composer	John Mark Williams (Series 1), Over the Wall (Series 2)
Opening theme	"Stripadilla (Series 1)", "Thurso" (Series 2)
Country of origin	Scotland
Original languages	Scots & English
No. of series	2
No. of episodes	12
Production
Executive producers	Colin Gilbert Ewan Angus
Producers	Rab Christie The Comedy Unit
Production location	Greater Glasgow
Editor	Calum Ross
Running time	30 minutes
Original release
Release	February 25, 2009 – present

Burnistoun is a sketch show for BBC Scotland by the Scottish comedians Iain Connell and Robert Florence. The show is produced by The Comedy Unit.

Burnistoun is set in a fictional Scottish town/city and characters include Kelly McGlade; Burnistoun's answer to Beyonce, Paul and Walter the disturbingly odd brothers that run an ice cream van, the indescribable Jolly Boy John, McGregor and Toshan (the quality police), best friends Scott and Peter and serial killer The Burnistoun Butcher, who is unhappy with the way he is being portrayed in the media.

Connell and Florence have previously written sitcoms Empty and Legit and created characters for Chewin' the Fat and The Karen Dunbar Show.

The show has been recommissioned for a second series by the BBC.

Broadcast

The pilot was broadcast by BBC2 Scotland on 25 February 2009 and repeated on March 29, 2010.

On 20, 22 and 25 January 2010, audience reaction screenings were shown at the Odeon Cinema, Springfield Quay, Glasgow, where approximately 240 minutes of unfinalised sketches (missing music, sound effects and visual effects) were shown to assist the production team in their choice of material for the forthcoming series.

The first episode of the series aired on 1 March 2010 at 10pm on BBC2 Scotland.

Recurring characters and situations

• "Scott and Peter" - two friends that live in the town
• Kelly McGlade and the Sloppy Seconds - aspiring girl band
• DJ Jesus
• The Burnistoun Herald - the town's newspaper
• Paul and Walter - two seventeen year old brothers who constantly argue whilst running the ice-cream van
• "The Burnistoun butcher" - the murderer of Burnistoun
• "The Burnistoun butcher" - the town butcher who coincidentally shares his nickname with the murderer
• "Mc Hottie Boxtrot" - a DJ from the town he once called the town a shithole
• "Jolly Boy John" - a man who does stranges things 'FOR REAL'
• "Alex Ciderson" - owner of Alex Ciderson corporation
• "Biscuty Boyle" - Burnistoun's favourite son
• "McGregor and Toshan" - The quality police
• "Doberman Man" - The towns superhero
• "Big Sanny Tolan's boy" - Doberman Man's archenemy.

Episode guide

Series 1

Episode 1

First broadcast 1 March 2010 at 10pm on BBC2 Scotland

Sketches include: Scott and Peter's buffet embarrassment, the horror of being a cat mind-reader, Jumpstyle Furnishings, single-policy candidate, DJ Jesus hits the decks, the saga of the 2 litre bottle of ginger, greasy radio "psychic"

Episode 2

First broadcast 8 March 2010 at 10pm on BBC2 Scotland

Sketches include: singing sensation Wee Frank, "What's THIS I See?" extreme theatre experience, the Burnistoun Butcher at The Burnistoun Herald, Scott and Peter's Chinese takeaway, "Town Street" the true-to-life soap opera

Episode 3

First broadcast 15 March 2010 at 10pm on BBC2 Scotland

Sketches include: Scott and Peter meet and greet, Alex Ciderson Warehouse, sniper, Jolly Boy John, hard hitting Scottish drama "The Drugs", Biscuity Boyle's sex lessons, helpline/sexline?, emergency Burnistoun Council meeting, a man's terrible dilemma on a bus, Kelly McGlade photoshoot, World's best quotes, a man home alone

Episode 4

First broadcast 22 March 2010 at 10pm on BBC2 Scotland

Sketches include: nae rolls!, the trials of a man desperate to avoid a charity worker, Kelly and the Sloppy Seconds play a pub gig, prolific sperm donor, Walter takes over the ice-cream van, pints, The Burnistoun Herald's problematic new motto, Glasgow scout wars, Scott and Peter's big night in.

Episode 5

First broadcast 31 March 2010 at 10pm on BBC2 Scotland

Sketches include: Google Doctor, Kelly McGlade at The Burnistoun Herald, the world's worst salesman, Superhero talk, Sarcasmaholics Anonymous, chatting up 18 year olds, gangster talk in the pub, The Burnistoun Herald goes digital.

Episode 6

First broadcast 5 April 2010 at 10pm on BBC2 Scotland

Sketches include: Debating Burnistoun MSPs, Ladies' Night at the pub, Polly bag fashion parade, Kelly McGlade goes solo, Acceptable patter.

Series 2

Episode 1

First broadcast 4 April 2011 at 10:35pm on BBC1 Scotland

Sketches include: Scott and Peter at the gym, the two Kenny Rogers lookalikes, Jolly Boy John, Paul and Walter in the ice-cream van and McGregor and Toshan (the quality police) tackling a crime scene.

Episode 2

First broadcast 11 April 2011 at 10:40pm on BBC1 Scotland

Sketches include: The Barr Family, Scott and Peter talking about what they would do if they fainted in the toilets, Jolly Boy John, Walter copying everything that Paul says, Frankie Boyle starring in a ground-breaking advert for pie and McGregor and Toshan (the quality police) having a pepper spray battle.

Episode 3

First broadcast 18 April 2011 at 10:40pm on BBC1 Scotland

Sketches include: Alex Ciderson's new invention, Ronnie Dreech's Murder Song, The consequences of eating a ready meal well past its use-by date, Paul and Walter's mum's birthday and McGregor and Toshan (the quality police) tackling teenagers.

Episode 4

First broadcast 25 April 2011 at 10:15pm on BBC1 Scotland

Sketches include: A martial arts superhero Doberman Man tracking down his nemesis, 15,20£, Bonnet Catcher

Episode 5

First broadcast 2 May 2011 at 10:40pm on BBC1 Scotland

Sketches include: Doberman Man comes face-to-face with his archenemy Big Sanny Tolan's boy.

Episode 6

First broadcast 9 May 2011 at 10:35pm on BBC1 Scotland

Sketches include: A gullible customer at a car-boot sale gets fleeced over a "quality denim jaeskit"