User talk:Pn4Ls

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Hello, Pn4Ls, and welcome to Wikipedia! Thank you for your contributions.

I notice that one of the first articles you edited appears to be dealing with a topic with which you may have a conflict of interest. In other words, you may find it difficult to write about that topic in a neutral and objective way, because you are, work for, or represent, the subject of that article. Your recent contributions may have already been undone for this very reason.

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I hope you enjoy editing here and being a Wikipedian! Please sign your messages on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~); this will automatically insert your username and the date. If you need help, check out Wikipedia:Questions, ask me on my talk page, or ask your question on this page and then place {{help me}} before the question. Again, welcome! (✉→BWilkins←✎) 11:45, 1 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Possibly unfree File:Lt Col Robert Tilsley.jpg

A file that you uploaded or altered, File:Lt Col Robert Tilsley.jpg, has been listed at Wikipedia:Possibly unfree files because its copyright status is unclear or disputed. If the file's copyright status cannot be verified, it may be deleted. You may find more information on the file description page. You are welcome to add comments to its entry at the discussion if you object to the listing for any reason. Thank you. Stefan2 (talk) 17:07, 26 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I have responded to this here.

Lt Col Robert Tilsley

I left a comment at the Milhist talk page in response to your query. I have concerns regarding the notability of the subject but this aside, there are still some other issues with your draft article. I have some feedback that may help with this article, if it proves notable, or others you might work on in the future. In particular:

there are too many sections/headings/subheadings. Reviewing the content, I would suggest just having "Early life", "First World War", "Interwar period", "Second World War" and "Later life" sections
the article is not chronological, e.g. the early life section includes stuff about his education that occurred after WWI. The WWI stuff follows mention of his medals. If you use the headings suggested above, you can move content around accordingly so it flows better;
large chunks of quoted text. A sentence or two might be OK to reinforce a point you may want to make in the text but not the large amount that is presently there. An exception might be the citation for the DCM;
Some of the content is relatively trivial (for example, it is not necessary to list all the schools he attended);
The bulletpoints in the "Service in Army" section needs to be converted to prose;
The Efficiency Decoration is not a gallantry award.
Some books are listed in the notes section. Author, year and pg no should appear in the notes section, and the book details fully recited in the references section.

These are just a few pointers for now, hope you find them useful. Zawed (talk) 09:14, 18 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Great - that's exactly the sort of pointers I was hoping for, thanks. I will work on trimming it down over the next few weeks. Re notability, there is so much published information on him it was hard to know where to start. He was a commander of the Auckland Battalion which I would have thought was notable in itself. Pn4Ls (talk) 10:54, 18 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]

From the looks of it, he was commanded a territorial battalion during peacetime. I personally don't think this makes him notable in its own right. It may be different if he commanded it in action. I see you have been doing some further tidying up of the article. I may be being presumptuous but it looks like you are intend to keep his personal life and military life separate. While it is better than it was, this doesn't help with the narrative flow, the entire article should ideally be in chronological order. Zawed (talk) 06:31, 19 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]