Talk:Bing–Neel syndrome

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Editing Bing-Neel syndrome page for class project

Three other students and myself are working on editing this Bing-Neel syndrome page for a class. We will be making edits to the information that was already present, adding new information and correcting errors that were on the pre-existing page. Some of the content from the original page has been incorporated into the new information we have added. The goal of this project is to take a subtopic, edit and build up the content of that page. To do this, we will expand upon the history, diagnosis, symptoms, and treatment of Bing-Neel syndrome. Due to the rarity of this diseases, the number of secondary sources is limited, which lead us to use some reviews and discussions of case studies. We welcome any constructive feedback on this talk page to improve the overall content of this page. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Hondaporsh24 (talk • contribs) 05:26, 10 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

BNS Review

Intro maybe include a brief description of WM in intro

History was the international workshop on WM where they came up with diagnostic criteria? Could be more specific here.

Symptoms need citation in first section, second paragraph has very long sentences. Could be split up so it is more clear. Maybe a table or list would be beneficial since there are so many? Did you also mean to use the word loss instead of lose when talking about memory loss, aphasia, loss of balance? Last sentence may sound better if reworded?

Sequence analysis Do you mean to say “if so” at the end of the sentence?

Treatment Certain path with a multitude of options sounds contradictory

Images Get rid of diseases DB on side- is it necessary to include/specific enough to BNS? Are there any images you could include? Maybe of WM?

Original Research no original research or data is present so good job.

Other questions I had regarding the topic Can people with BNS go into remission where symptoms stop for awhile? Does having BNS put people at risk for other disease/complications?

Source Verification: Castillo article It seems that the first sentence of the intro is nearly the same as the first sentence of this abstract yet it is not cited at the end of sentence. Not sure if you found the same info in the article that you actually cited at the end of the sentence but nonetheless I think they should both be cited. Also I would consider changing the wording up a little bit so it isn’t a direct copy. Looking at the abstract of this article, I think it could be beneficial to add some of the stats that they include, like the number of BNS patients who were also diagnosed with WM, to better link the two diseases/syndromes.

Overall I think the article encompasses the aspects of BSN that are necessary pretty well. Some parts could use a little revision in regards to flow and wording but I understood most of it. In regards to sourcing, just make sure you include all of the proper citations (especially to info that may be found in more than one source). Good job though!

MWStudent (talk) 16:43, 12 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]