Arthur Spooner
Arthur Eugene Spooner is a prominent character of the sitcom The King of Queens. He is played by Jerry Stiller. He lives with his daughter Carrie and her husband, Doug Heffernan.
Wives/Relationships
Arthur has been married at least three times:
Sophia, his first wife, probably died while they were married. She was the mother of Carrie and Sara. Late in her life, Sophia gained a lot of weight.
Lily was his wife when Doug met Arthur for the first time. Arthur literally 'found her on a street corner' where she was waiting for the bus. She and Arthur had an extremely long fight because Arthur wanted a boat. Carrie once said "You were still married to Lily" so they probably got a divorce.
Tessie died in the pilot episode of The King of Queens. She was (currently) Arthur's last wife.
Arthur has dated Doug's aunt Sheila and also dated Doug's mother. Arthur is often involved with Spence Olchin's (Patton Oswalt) mother (Anne Meara), although Arthur is usually very annoyed by her (this is ironic because Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara are married in real-life).
Other family
Arthur's father was abusive, and him forcing Arthur to change costumes and go to houses that gave money on Halloween several times has made him ban the holiday from the Heffernan home. On an episode of The King of Queens, Arthur's father is played by Jerry Stiller's son, Ben Stiller, and Arthur himself is played by Erik Per Sullivan (Malcolm in the Middle). Arthur also once tried to take in as a son an indian food delivery boy, played by Ali Sadduk, in order to pass down his aged old wisdom. Arthur has a half brother, Skitch, whom he hates.
More
Arthur is walked by a dog walker named Holly (Nicole Sullivan) His best friend is Mickey (Ford Rainey). He also enjoys hanging out with Doug's friends (especially Spence). However, both of these characters are now gone. Sullivan left the show in 2005 to star in her own series Hot Properties and Rainey died in 2005.
George Barksdale (Gerry Black), another acquaintance of Arthur's, appears in later episodes of the show. At first, they were bitter rivals, but are now good friends.
Arthur has had a wide variety of jobs, including working at a metal works factory, polishing and engraving bowling balls, and selling string. The places that he has worked in (other than Queens) include Shreveport, Louisiana and Glen Burnie, Maryland. He even invents a new brand of screwdriver called the "Arthur's Head," which is basically a Phillips head with an "A" for Arthur. The A on the first Arthur's Head came from an old typewriter key.
Arthur has a tendency to stretch out words ending with s, for example, Douglas would be Douglassss. He refers to himself a "A. Spooner" or "Arty".
Arthur also tends to shout often and unnecessarily, much like Frank Costanza, Stiller's character on Seinfeld.
He is also very eccentric. He often comes up with absolutely absurd, irregular or illogical money-making scams.
He has a problem with authority figures, and often tries to win arguments by acting childish or screaming (except with physically intimidating people.)
He has been notorious in making outrageous remarks like he invented the moist towelette, claiming that Charles Schultz based Charlie Brown on his life. He also steals change from Doug's nightstand.
He has also picked up on some of Doug's personality traits. In one episode, he wears Doug's IPS uniform and pretends to be a deliveryman, and in a couple of episodes, he repeats one of Doug's most famous catchphrases. The following is an example of the latter:
- Arthur: Tell that to your conscience!
- Doug: My conscience is fine, so shutty!
- Arthur: No, you shutty!
- Doug: You shutty!
Arthur once made a birthday wish to spend more time with Doug, and, with the help of Carrie, gets his chance after Doug won two tickets to the Final Four. Known for being a nervous flier, Arthur decides to take his pills while awaiting takeoff from New York to St. Louis, where the Final Four is being played. But the plane never takes off, due to mechanical problems, so Doug and Arthur must take another flight, and when Arthur finally wakes up, he finds himself in Pittsburgh. Having never been to Pittsburgh before, Arthur splurges on various city-related souvenirs, including an "I 'Heart' Pittsburgh" button and a replica Steelers jersey with Ben Roethlisberger's number on it. That's also where Doug finally makes his real feelings known, adding that Arthur "ruins everything." Arthur is offended by these comments, and refuses to board the connecting flight that would've taken them to St. Louis. After Doug has a brief talk with him, Arthur changes his mind, and finds a connecting flight eventually. But the plane is full of Hebrew people, and Arthur creates a disturbance by storming the cockpit. It is discovered that he took all of his pills in New York, and the plane lands in Dayton, Ohio, where Doug is forced to watch the game on one of the coin-operated TVs inside the airport. As before, Arthur loads up on some Dayton-related souvenirs, including a snow globe (which Doug smashes in a fit of anger) and a cheeseboard.
Arthur is a believer in socialism, for example in the episode Steve Moscow (5.18) he declares the Soviet Union to have been a "workers' paradise". On another episode, he said that he once was enrolled at a Communist summer camp.
Along with the banning of Halloween, Arthur also banned various other items from the Heffernans' house, which included red pens, soft cheese, non-American VCRS (But no DVD Players), mentioning FDR's polio, miniature Kit Kats, etc.
Arthur invents different card games, like "San Diego Scooby Doo", and makes up rules for these nonexistant games. He tries to get Doug's friends involved, but they are not interested.
Arthur once tried to convince Carrie's law firm to file a lawsuit against Dick Clark because he never got the full year's supply of Rice-A-Roni that he had been promised after an appearance on The $10,000 Pyramid in 1976. At first, the lawyer refused to take the case (mainly because he never watched The $10,000 Pyramid in 1976 — he was in grade school at the time; and he added that the show has been off the air for years), but in the end, he got enough Rice-A-Roni to last 30 years, in addition to the original supply he was promised on the game show.
Quotes
"I would slap you straight across the face if I didn't think you would, in turn, floor me."
"Huh. I didn't know that Doug was short for Douglas."
"You take the 'Arthurshead Screwdriver' and you screw it into the corresponding A-hole."
"Douglas, you were right. Your story WAS ironic. I thought ironic meant entirely made of iron"
"Douglas, are you alright? I heard someone screaming like a bitch."
"I may have been compromised by a gentleman named RoadDog."
"If I weren't a gentleman I'd punch you square in the mouth." (Talking to Holly)
(after playing the harmonica) "Bet you didn't know I played the mouth organ, did you, Douglas?" (after which Doug replies, "Please, never call it that again").
"What do you need birth control pills for? DOES HE TOUCH YOU????" (to Carrie)
"Butt cream? Where's this day headed?"
"What? Three people can't play golf together? It's not sex for got sake!"
"I'm gonna level with you honey, I have a gambling problem and I am afraid Jimmy Marbles is going to break my kneecaps if i don't come up with the scratch."
"Sweet Diggity!"
"Sweet Georgia Brown!"
(After flushing his own toilet in the basement) "This is living!"
"Don't tell ME!!"
"How dare YOU!!"
(To Doug) "You know, we are quite the team. Like Jake & Fatman, needles to say, i'm Jake."
"And why are we so close to the kitchen? Is it because we are black?!"
"Methane gas, once and for all."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, you douche!"
"Then I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas in hell!"
"I'll see you in hell!"