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Allegany High School

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Allegany High School is a high school (grades 9 to 12) in Cumberland, Allegany County, Maryland.

Allegany High School was built as Allegany County High School in 1887. The current principal is Michael Calhoun, and the vice principals are Ray Kiddy and Heidi Laupert.

As of 2005 it had 825 students and 49 teachers. Students were 93% white, 5% African-American and 2% Asian. 19% were eligible for reduced lunch, less than the state average of 27%.

Allegany High School is known for it's marching band. It is under the direction of Larry Jackson and Brian White. It's Drum Major is Senior Kayla Bloom. Allegany was recently placed 9th at TOB at Scranton, PA however, it has been ranked number one on the road. The band has winds, pit, and a color guard.

History

Allegany high school was formed in 1789 by the great John Humberson. Mr. Humberson was an Indian pimp who needed to educate his subjects on the ways of the pimp. When Mr. Humberson died in 1850 of a accidental suicide, the school was turned over to the the people of Cumberland. Not know what a school was the people of Cumberland held mass sacrifices in the school, where hundreds of little babies were eaten by the townspeople. Finally in 1900 the school was turned into what is currently a fine academic mental hospital. Under the direction of many horrible doctors the students are shoved into ovens are asked to eat their way out. The current star pupils are Tom "Big Dawg" Davis and Martin David Harsh IV. Marty and Tom are locked together in a padded room with a single rubber duck. Upon observation, Tom is no long in the room, many believe that Marty ate him after he touched the rubber ducky.

Notable Alumni

Allegany High School has some famous grads including:


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Football

File:Cumberland md alco football 2005.jpg

In the 2005 football season, the Allegany Campers varsity team went undefeated in their best season in the school's history, with a 14-0 record.

In 2006, The Allegany Campers had high expectations comming of the 2005 season. Blowing out all of their opponents until they played the Keyser Golden Tornados and lost 14-7. They went on to beat Berkley Springs and Sidwell Friends, only to lose homecoming to cross town rivals Fort Hill 35-14. The Campers defeated Boonsboro in region playoffs blowing them out by a wide margin. Allegany met Fort Hill again at Greenway for the Region 1A west championship, but lost 51-18. Allegany finished the 2006 season with a winning record of 9-3.

Allegany Varsity Cheerleaders

File:Cumberland md alco varsity cheerleaders 2006.jpg

Allegany Junior Varsity Cheerleaders

File:Cumberland md alco junior varsity cheerleaders 2006.jpg

"Lil Blue" Freshmen Cheerleaders

File:Cumberland md alco freshmen 2006.jpg

Cross Country

Allegany's runners had a great season this year with the boys team making the state meet for the first time since the invention of the horse. The team was coached by geek Tommy Channdler and Dennis Robertson. The boys team had members such as Julian Gates, Stephen Heath, Sumeet Gupta, Gavin Brant, and the people that are named Shuck. For the girls Lauren MacFawn won states with Kendra Roberts also going to states. The team will run over the homeless competion next year and destroy all kittens in the years to come.


Boy's Soccer

The biggest surprise of this year was the boy's soccer team, which had an 8-5-2 record. The team was coached by Richard Zimmerman and Mike Sallerson. The team consisted of 19 members, and jv members. With star senior members such as Nathan "Giant DoushBag" Shellhaus a.k.a "Smellhouse" at the vital "Left Out" posistion. "He was a true spark to our team" raved Head Coach "Fat-ass" Zimmerman, "He truly was an inspiration to all the injured and slightly retarted players" Another vital senior member was Justin "Bi-Polar Zimmerman". Justin was the reason the for teams success as shown in his heroic performances in the Southern and Maryland school for the Deaf, Blind and Possibly Retarted games. He was also the biggest enemy of the teams watercooler which suffered major absue throught the season due to the teams crushing defeats. Mr. Zimmerman, while trying all offseason to get his all star players whipped into shape, chased a certain few players around the mile course at the famed Allegany Community College. These certain few players apperantly were not watching the high quality soccer match before them which did include past players such as Sean "Shnubbles" Schnabley and Brett "Im not really sure if I'm Gay or Straight" Showalter and decided that these certain players needed some discipline and raced them around the course. Unfortunalty for the coach, his top speed was slower than the young men's walking pace. Believe me, it was quite a sight to see something like that, moving.

Golf

Despite what many think, the priciple sport of Allegany High School is golf. The team is lead by the 6' 135lb senior at golfer Master Thadeus Eirich. The only female member of the team is Madison Martin. Do not be fooled by her attractive exterior, within is hidden a monster on the fairway. The team was out for blood this year, with the only female member Madison Martin, placing 6th in states.

Clothing

At Allegany the clothing choices of the students are very similar. Due to the new dress code all males are required to wear camo pants, 5XL wifebeaters, and moon boots. The girls are required to were the skin of the animals that were ran over by levitating hummers. With the great fashion shown at the shcool Ralph Lauren is offering $ 96 billion to a new fasion designer. So far the leading candidate for the award is Josh Pittman for his coordination with his 9 and his colorful shoes, however a new canidate has appeared, Kelsie Hayze with her yarn boots.

Rap/Hip-Hop Music

Allegany High School is home to many stout rap groups such as the CCCP and QCK. The CCCP is the number one rap group in the county with QCK a close second. CCCP stands for Crazy City Cound Posse, while QCK stands for Queen City Kids. CCCP is a more wholesome group whereas QCK attempts to capture the urban struggle appeal with frontmen K-Dunn and J-Pitt.


Party Scene

The Allegany party scene is a wild, pleasant, fun, and scattered one. Parties range from break dance battles (on cardboard mats), normal parties, cow punching, and tea parties. Tea Parties are, however, the highlight of the fun scene. Thrown Semi-anually, Master Christopher White throws his alleged "Tea Party of the Century". The authority of White to call this such is disputed however, as it is never clear whether the most recent is cooler than the previous. A copy right violation suit was filed by Elton John, Christopher's childhood hero. The fact that he has thrown 13 in the last 4 weeks has also raised some eyebrows.


With Regards to Justin "Beef" Hymes

This sophmore at allegany is over 6'8" tall, he was moved up to Varsity where he was given strong guidance from his senior mentor Zach Shearin. With Shearin's help, he was able to find his was into a starting position of the Allegany Camper Football defensive line.

Clay Aiken/Lance Bass Fan Club

Founded April 14, 2006, by Zac Barton and Tanner Zembower, this club quickly took off. With the Golden Tiger and the Magic Man at the helm, this club was able to secure funding, ballrooms, and wild animals for sacrifice. The club reached its peak by June however, when controversial reports began trickling in questioning Lance Bass's sexuality. As time progressed, it was discovered -unfourtunately for the club- that Lance Bass as well as Clay Aiken were homosexuals. With little public support the leadership and management talents of the Golden Tiger and the Magic Man began to fail. The club collapsed in upon itself as many members (even foudning members) had no desire to be associated with homosexuality. During the July coup, several hardline members tried to take control (by force) of the club to alter the direction of the club and switching the idols from Clay Aiken and Lance Bass to John Elway and Terrel Davis. The leaders of this coup included Zach "Wolf Meat" Shearin, Drew "Polar Bear" Pande, and John "Big Man" Pande. The coup ultimately failed as the rest of the club did not feel the same about John Elway and Terrel Davis. With little support, and Big Man's relocation to Argentina, the Royal flush - as they called themseles - were forced to give in, and in turn broke away founding the John Elway Football Club. The Golden Tiger and the Magic Man sadly, still stunned by the news of Clay and Lance comming out of the closet, and by "the Royal Flush's" complete disrespect and undermining of their authority, had no choice but to officially dissolve the club on July 29, 2006. Together the Golden Tiger and Magic Man were able to raise $57,542.12 worth of funds.

Zach "iron man, big boy,wolfman" Shearin

zach shearin is a senior in allegany. Along with willie whiteman and patrick steckman he is one of the top men on the iron man club at alco. He benches the most out of the three with being able to get 225lbs once. Zach couldnt play football last year acoount his terrible accident with his shoulder. Zach was shootin his gat outside one day when the rickoshet of the shot dislocated his shoulder with quick thinking zach cut open is skin and fixed his shoulder himself. The next football season led by patrick steckman the allegany campers made it to the playoffs and won but p steck was killed by j pitt in an automoblie accident involving shearins mustang.


See also

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