Talk:William Hale Thompson 1927 mayoral campaign/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 13:03, 16 November 2023 (UTC)

• I'll review the lead section the last, but an article of this length, the lead seems a little meager.
• I think it would be better if the image (captioned "Thompson campaign poster") be used inside the infobox.
• "Affiliation" in infobox should be "Republican Party"
• Structure: Currently, the table of contents is a bit longer that what I would have expected for such an article. We can merge some of the headings. For instance, we can have something like "Aftermath and analysis". And for all those subheading in the "General Election campaign", try keeping it limited to 4-5 instead of 8. This, however, is a personal suggestion with no bearing on this GA nomination.
• Republican William Hale "Big Bill" Thompson, who had — William Hale "Big Bill" Thompson, a member of the Republican Party, had ...
• We really need a bit more about who Thompson was and what were his political offices before being mayor twice. Something like the Background section of this article.
• Upto you, but I'd be willing to suggest to hyphenate terms like nonconsecutive and reelection.
• took advantage of the crime situation — what crime situation
• within to his — during his
• which The New York Times observed gave Thompson a track — needs a comma
• Thompson claimed that — "Thompson, however, claimed that"
• He also had enemies from his previous tenure, — enemy?
• at a Frank L. Smith U.S. Senate campaign rally held at the city's Cort Theatre — "at a rally at Cort Theatre, Chicago, held as a part of Frank L. Smith's campaign for United States Senate". Sounds better?
• Thompson kicked off his — rephrase to keep it a bit more encyclopedic
• on January 10, 1927 with — Missing MOS:DATECOMMA
• A much lesser second opponent — I am unable to understand what this is trying to signify
• Originally, John Dill Robertson had planned — "John Dill Robertson had originally planned"
• However, Robertson dropped — "Robertson, however, dropped"
• of messy eating — I get what it is trying to signify, but can we possibly rephrase to keep it a bit more encyclopedic
• which her lost — he?
• by a margin of just over 100 votes — 100 out of how much? "That is what makes the actual difference"
• Thompson's margin of victory in the primary was record-breaking for a Chicago mayoral election. — Does any modern scholarly statement support this statement. It is cited to a almost 100-year old source.
• and prejudice'" — do we need a nbsp here? '"
• However, largely, Dever — can remove the first two words

Will continue. Would appreciate if you could fix other issues similar to those mentioned above as well. Solid article! Thanks for all your work here. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 13:56, 16 November 2023 (UTC)

• Failing, unfortunately, due to any lack of response from the nominator in over two weeks. Please renominate this after fixing these issues whenever time permits. Thanks for all your work on this article. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 01:41, 30 November 2023 (UTC)