Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Aston Martin Rapide/archive1

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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by 750h+ (talk | contribs) at 11:32, 29 April 2024. The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

Aston Martin Rapide

Aston Martin Rapide (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

As of 17 May 2024, 13:07 (UTC), this page is active and open for discussion. An FAC coordinator will be responsible for closing the nomination.
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Nominator(s):  750h+ | Talk  14:14, 26 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

This comprehensive (but very short, at 1600 words) article explores what could arguably be considered the most beautiful four-door car in the early twenty-first century, the Aston Martin Rapide. It marks my second FAC, following the submission of the Aston Martin DB9 page (awaiting promotion, but imminent). I appreciate the comments on the DB9 article I got and appreciate any comments you may have on this article as well!  750h+ | Talk  14:14, 26 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Llewee

Hello 750h+, I hope these comments are helpful.--Llewee (talk) 19:40, 28 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think overall the article might benefit from a bit more context. As someone who is admittedly quite ignorant about this subject I felt a certain degree of prior knowledge was assumed. Maybe add a background section explaining what a saloon car is and briefly discussing the car's predecessors.
done
  • "where the other VH platform cars—comprising the DB9, the DBS, the Vantage and the second-generation Vanquish—are produced" - This information isn't mentioned in the body of the article of the article and seems a bit excessive for the lead.
done. I don't think it's excessive for the lead, as they're all platform siblings. I've mentioned in the body of the article.
  • "Following a £1.6 million funding from the Regional Growth Fund (RGF), in 2012 Aston Martin shifted production of the Rapide to Gaydon, a village in Warwickshire." - I think you need to add an additional word, "package" or something similar, after "funding". Also could clarify how this worked, were they given the money in exchange for moving to Warwickshire?
done
  • "Its rear greenhouse slopes and narrows towards the back and over the rear haunches to improve its sporty aesthetic." - I think "improve" sounds a bit non-neutral, maybe change to "emphasise" or "increase"?
done
  • @Llewee: i've addressed these. thoughts now?
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