All About Love: New Visions
All About Love: New Visions is a book by bell hooks published in 2000. The book discusses aspects of love in modern society. hooks combines personal anecdotes, psychological and philosophical ideas to make her point. She focuses on romantic love and believes that in American culture men have been socialized to mistrust the value and power of love while women have been socialized to be loving in most situations -- even when their need to receive love goes unmet.
Each chapter discusses an aspect of love. First she explains her position and introduces an external work which is primarily about that aspect of love. Then she provides suggestions on how to reverse our cultural training and become more open to giving and receiving love. These aspects are affection, respect, recognition, commitment, trust and care, rather than the customary forms stemming from gender stereotypes, domination, control, ego and aggression.
In the first chapter she proposes that if we came to an agreement on the definition of love and acknowledge it as a verb rather than a noun we would all be happier. In the second chapter she proposes that children be treated with respect and justice so that they may learn to love. In the third chapter she proposes that complete honesty is necessary for a healthy relationship. She believes males learn to lie as a means of obtaining power, while females do the same but also lie to pretend powerlessness. In the fourth chapter she proposes that self-acceptance and self-love are necessary to have a happy relationship. In the fifth chapter she proposes that spiritual well-being is necessary to provide love to others. In the sixth chapter she proposes that in order to love we must let go of obsessions with power and domination as a culture. In the seventh chapter she proposes that we must place love above materialism. In the eighth chapter she proposes that a sense of community and belonging is essential to feel loved and desire to give love. In the ninth chapter she proposes that both partners have to be giving.
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