Draft talk:Rise of esports in India
Pros and Criticisms of this Article - Brendan Houle
[edit]Pros:
This article uses a lot of statistics to back up its points which makes it nice to read. I also thought all of the information was very relevant and you remained in a neutral tone the entire time. The overall article was very informative. I also thought your intro statement set the framework for the article well.
Criticisms:
Introduction: Maybe add some more info stating what the article will cover (maybe growth factors, Players and teams, community impacts, and future challenges)
Individual Sections:
I would expand more about why mobile phones were crucial for the growth of gaming
Maybe add a statistic about how the companies have majorly invested?
Under Major E-sports and Titles, maybe state that there are many more not listed in this article.
Structure: I would make the following “heading 1” as opposed to sub headings in the following order: Historical Background, Growth Factors, Major E-sport Titles, E-SPorts Organization and teams, Player Profiles, Educational Impact, Economic Impact, Impact of Covid 19, CHallenges and Future Prospects, Conclusions
I think you should also split your sections into paragraphs or just individual sentences as opposed to numbers.
Overall: Make sure everything is in full sentences as opposed to partial statements such as the player section. DonHoulio (talk) 16:15, 25 July 2024 (UTC)
Peer Review- Jay Shah
[edit]What does the article (or section) do well?
[edit]The article provides an extensive overview of the rise of e-sports in India, covering historical background, growth factors, major titles and tournaments, organizations, the impact of COVID-19, player profiles, educational initiatives, economic impact, challenges, and future prospects. The article is well-structured, with clear headings and subheadings that make it easy to follow and understand the progression of topics. The use of data, such as the number of internet users and projected economic impact, adds credibility and supports the narrative.
What changes would you suggest overall?
[edit]While the introduction sets the stage, it could benefit from a more engaging hook to capture the reader's attention right from the start. The player profiles section could be expanded with more consistent information about each player's achievements and contributions. Some sections, such as government support and educational initiatives, could benefit from deeper analysis and examples.
What is the most important thing that the author could do to improve his/her contribution?
[edit]The most important improvement would be to incorporate a more engaging introduction and provide deeper analysis in certain sections.
Did you glean anything from your classmate's work that could be applicable to your own?
[edit]Your thorough and well-structured approach to covering a wide range of topics within the e-sports industry in India is impressive. The use of data and credible sources to support your points is something I can incorporate more into my own work. Jay58384 (talk) 16:23, 25 July 2024 (UTC)