List of Two and a Half Men episodes

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Two and a Half Men is a CBS sitcom that premiered on September 22, 2003. Almost every episode's title is a phrase said by one of the characters in that episode. The three exceptions are the pilot episode and the episodes "Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor" (season 1) and "Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers" (season 2). The latter episode does fit the criterion, but the quote was part of a deleted scene which Chuck Lorre explains in the episode's vanity card.

Three episode titles are not direct quotes: "Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snootful" (season 1), "Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead" (season 8), and "Who's Vod Kanockers?" (season 4). Charlie states "I'm not going to face all those pre-pubers without a snootful", but the number twenty-five is never mentioned. When Charlie sings his song called "Chocolate Diddlers", Alan only suggests that it sounds more like "My Puppy's Dead". Jake actually asks "Who is this Vod Kanockers that you speak of?"; however, on the DVD release, that episode is titled "Who Is This Vod Kanockers?".

On March 13, 2014, Two and a Half Men was renewed for a 12th season, which was announced the following May as being its last season,[1] that premiered on October 30, 2014.[2][3] During the course of the series, 262 episodes of Two and a Half Men aired over 12 seasons.

Series overview[edit]

SeasonEpisodesOriginally airedNielsen ratings[4][5]
First airedLast airedRankRatingTied with
124September 22, 2003 (2003-09-22)May 24, 2004 (2004-05-24)149.9My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance
224September 20, 2004 (2004-09-20)May 23, 2005 (2005-05-23)1110.6N/A
324September 19, 2005 (2005-09-19)May 22, 2006 (2006-05-22)139.7The Unit
424September 18, 2006 (2006-09-18)May 14, 2007 (2007-05-14)149.1N/A
519September 24, 2007 (2007-09-24)May 19, 2008 (2008-05-19)158.5Survivor
624September 22, 2008 (2008-09-22)May 18, 2009 (2009-05-18)129.1CSI: Miami
722September 21, 2009 (2009-09-21)May 24, 2010 (2010-05-24)128.9N/A
816September 20, 2010 (2010-09-20)February 14, 2011 (2011-02-14)167.7N/A
924September 19, 2011 (2011-09-19)May 14, 2012 (2012-05-14)119.1N/A
1023September 27, 2012 (2012-09-27)May 9, 2013 (2013-05-09)108.7The Voice
1122September 26, 2013 (2013-09-26)May 8, 2014 (2014-05-08)276.8N/A
1216October 30, 2014 (2014-10-30)February 19, 2015 (2015-02-19)237.5Modern Family

Episodes[edit]

Season 1 (2003–04)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
11"Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal"James BurrowsChuck Lorre & Lee AronsohnSeptember 22, 2003 (2003-09-22)18.44[6]
22"Big Flappy Bastards"Andy AckermanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jeff Abugov
September 29, 2003 (2003-09-29)16.18[7]
33"Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell"Andy AckermanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Lee Aronsohn
October 6, 2003 (2003-10-06)14.82[8]
44"If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap"Andy AckermanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster
October 13, 2003 (2003-10-13)14.73[9]
55"The Last Thing You Want is to Wind Up with a Hump"Andy AckermanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jeff Abugov
October 20, 2003 (2003-10-20)15.24[10]
66"Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?"Andy AckermanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster
October 27, 2003 (2003-10-27)15.82[11]
77"If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake"Andy AckermanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Lee Aronsohn
November 3, 2003 (2003-11-03)16.02[12]
88"Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snootful"Chuck LorreStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jeff Abugov
November 10, 2003 (2003-11-10)15.81[13]
99"Phase One, Complete"Andy AckermanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster
November 17, 2003 (2003-11-17)15.98[14]
1010"Merry Thanksgiving"Jay SandrichChuck Lorre & Lee AronsohnNovember 24, 2003 (2003-11-24)17.14[15]
1111"Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor"Robert BerlingerStory by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts
December 15, 2003 (2003-12-15)14.77[16]
1212"Camel Filters and Pheromones"Robert BerlingerStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Mark Roberts
January 5, 2004 (2004-01-05)16.75[17]
1313"Sarah Like Puny Alan"Robert BerlingerStory by : Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster
January 12, 2004 (2004-01-12)17.86[18]
1414"I Can't Afford Hyenas"Rob SchillerStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Eddie Gorodetsky
February 2, 2004 (2004-02-02)16.48[19]
1515"Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick"Andrew D. WeymanChuck Lorre & Lee AronsohnFebruary 9, 2004 (2004-02-09)16.96[20]
1616"That Was Saliva, Alan"Andrew D. WeymanChuck Lorre & Lee AronsohnFebruary 16, 2004 (2004-02-16)17.39[21]
1717"Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats"Andrew D. WeymanStory by : Jeff Abugov & Eric Lapidus
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts
February 23, 2004 (2004-02-23)16.48[22]
1818"An Old Flame with a New Wick"Andrew D. WeymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts
March 1, 2004 (2004-03-01)17.10[23]
1919"I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You"Gail MancusoStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky
March 22, 2004 (2004-03-22)16.43[24]
2020"Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Mark Roberts
April 19, 2004 (2004-04-19)14.58[25]
2121"No Sniffing, No Wowing"Rob SchillerStory by : Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Don Foster
May 3, 2004 (2004-05-03)16.20[26]
2222"My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet"Gail MancusoStory by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky
May 10, 2004 (2004-05-10)16.00[27]
2323"Just Like Buffalo"Rob SchillerStory by : Chuck Lorre & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster
May 17, 2004 (2004-05-17)15.20[28]
2424"Can You Feel My Finger?"Rob SchillerStory by: Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
May 24, 2004 (2004-05-24)18.16[29]

Season 2 (2004–05)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
251"Back Off, Mary Poppins"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers
September 20, 2004 (2004-09-20)16.44[30]
262"Enjoy Those Garlic Balls"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky
September 27, 2004 (2004-09-27)16.44[31]
273"A Bag Full of Jawea"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Mark Roberts
October 4, 2004 (2004-10-04)16.43[32]
284"Go Get Mommy's Bra"Pamela FrymanStory by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky
October 11, 2004 (2004-10-11)17.15[33]
295"Bad News from the Clinic?"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Jeff Abugov
October 18, 2004 (2004-10-18)16.28[34]
306"The Price of Healthy Gums is Eternal Vigilance"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky
October 25, 2004 (2004-10-25)17.25[35]
317"A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana"Pamela FrymanStory by : Don Foster
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
November 8, 2004 (2004-11-08)16.04[36]
328"Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers"Pamela FrymanStory by : Don Foster & Jeff Abugov
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
November 15, 2004 (2004-11-15)17.47[37]
339"Yes, Monsignor"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Jeff Abugov & Susan Beavers
November 22, 2004 (2004-11-22)18.94[38]
3410"The Salmon Under My Sweater"Pamela FrymanStory by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
November 29, 2004 (2004-11-29)17.88[39]
3511"Last Chance to See Those Tattoos"Pamela FrymanChuck Lorre & Lee AronsohnDecember 13, 2004 (2004-12-13)16.22[40]
3612"A Lungful of Alan"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky
January 3, 2005 (2005-01-03)18.03[41]
3713"Zejdz z Moich Wlosów (a.k.a. Get Off My Hair)"Pamela FrymanStory by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
January 17, 2005 (2005-01-17)18.14[42]
3814"Those Big Pink Things with Coconut"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jeff Abugov
January 31, 2005 (2005-01-31)17.01[43]
3915"Smell the Umbrella Stand"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers
February 7, 2005 (2005-02-07)16.75[44]
4016"Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers
February 14, 2005 (2005-02-14)16.78[45]
4117"Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!"Pamela FrymanStory by : Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
February 21, 2005 (2005-02-21)17.50[46]
4218"It Was 'Mame,' Mom"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts
March 7, 2005 (2005-03-07)17.45[47]
4319"A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
March 21, 2005 (2005-03-21)15.92[48]
4420"I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey"Asaad KeladaStory by : Susan Beavers & Jeff Abugov
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
April 18, 2005 (2005-04-18)17.13[49]
4521"A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky
May 2, 2005 (2005-05-02)17.93[50]
4622"That Old Hose Bag is My Mother"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster
May 9, 2005 (2005-05-09)17.96[51]
4723"Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab"J.D. LobueStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster
May 16, 2005 (2005-05-16)24.24[52]
4824"Does This Smell Funny to You?"Pamela FrymanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jeff Abugov
May 23, 2005 (2005-05-23)14.37[53]

Season 3 (2005–06)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
491"Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts"Gary HalvorsonChuck Lorre & Lee AronsohnSeptember 19, 2005 (2005-09-19)15.04[54]
502"Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover"Gary HalvorsonStory by: Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
September 26, 2005 (2005-09-26)14.37[55]
513"Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster
October 3, 2005 (2005-10-03)14.21[56]
524"Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts
October 10, 2005 (2005-10-10)15.24[57]
535"We Called It Mr. Pinky"Gary HalvorsonStory by: Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by: Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
October 17, 2005 (2005-10-17)15.56[58]
546"Hi, Mr. Horned One"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
October 24, 2005 (2005-10-24)16.77[59]
557"Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
November 7, 2005 (2005-11-07)16.19[60]
568"That Voodoo That I Do Do"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts
November 14, 2005 (2005-11-14)15.17[61]
579"Madame and Her Special Friend"Asaad KeladaStory by : Jeff Abugov & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
November 21, 2005 (2005-11-21)15.74[62]
5810"Something Salted and Twisted"Rob SchillerStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
November 28, 2005 (2005-11-28)16.53[63]
5911"Santa's Village of the Damned"Rob SchillerStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers
December 19, 2005 (2005-12-19)17.71[64]
6012"That Special Tug"Rob SchillerStory by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
January 9, 2006 (2006-01-09)17.20[65]
6113"Humiliation is a Visual Medium"Rob SchillerStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky
January 23, 2006 (2006-01-23)17.07[66]
6214"Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Jeff Abugov
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers
February 6, 2006 (2006-02-06)16.33[67]
6315"My Tongue is Meat"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
February 27, 2006 (2006-02-27)17.04[68]
6416"Ergo, the Booty Call"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers
March 6, 2006 (2006-03-06)17.06[69]
6517"The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky
March 13, 2006 (2006-03-13)17.37[70]
6618"The Spit-Covered Cobbler"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
March 20, 2006 (2006-03-20)16.72[71]
6719"Golly Moses, She's a Muffin"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky
April 10, 2006 (2006-04-10)14.05[72]
6820"Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster
April 24, 2006 (2006-04-24)14.47[73]
6921"And the Plot Moistens"Jerry ZaksStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts
May 1, 2006 (2006-05-01)14.31[74]
7022"Just Once with Aunt Sophie"Lee AronsohnLee Aronsohn & Chuck LorreMay 8, 2006 (2006-05-08)14.87[75]
7123"Arguments for the Quickie"James WiddoesStory by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
May 15, 2006 (2006-05-15)11.04[76]
7224"That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Don Foster
May 22, 2006 (2006-05-22)15.51[77]

Season 4 (2006–07)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
731"Working for Caligula"Gary HalvorsonLee Aronsohn & Chuck LorreSeptember 18, 2006 (2006-09-18)15.09[78]
742"Who's Vod Kanockers?"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky
September 25, 2006 (2006-09-25)15.28[79]
753"The Sea is a Harsh Mistress"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts
October 2, 2006 (2006-10-02)15.80[80]
764"A Pot Smoking Monkey"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Bill Prady & Maria Espada Pearce
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers
October 9, 2006 (2006-10-09)16.38[81]
775"A Live Woman of Proven Fertility"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
October 16, 2006 (2006-10-16)16.25[82]
786"Apologies for the Frivolity"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts
October 23, 2006 (2006-10-23)15.03[83]
797"Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
November 6, 2006 (2006-11-06)14.48[84]
808"Release the Dogs"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
November 13, 2006 (2006-11-13)15.83[85]
819"Corey's Been Dead for an Hour"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre
November 20, 2006 (2006-11-20)15.04[86]
8210"Kissing Abe Lincoln"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
November 27, 2006 (2006-11-27)15.50[87]
8311"Walnuts and Demerol"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
December 11, 2006 (2006-12-11)15.69[88]
8412"Castrating Sheep in Montana"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky
January 8, 2007 (2007-01-08)14.78[89]
8513"Don't Worry, Speed Racer"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
January 22, 2007 (2007-01-22)15.85[90]
8614"That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
February 5, 2007 (2007-02-05)17.68[91]
8715"My Damn Stalker"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky
February 12, 2007 (2007-02-12)15.50[92]
8816"Young People Have Phlegm Too"Andrew D. WeymanStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
February 19, 2007 (2007-02-19)16.56[93]
8917"I Merely Slept with a Commie"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
February 26, 2007 (2007-02-26)16.58[94]
9018"It Never Rains in Hooterville"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts
March 19, 2007 (2007-03-19)11.68[95]
9119"Smooth as a Ken Doll"Gary HalvorsonStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster
April 9, 2007 (2007-04-09)13.46[96]
9220"Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot"Jerry ZaksStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre
April 16, 2007 (2007-04-16)13.03[97]
9321"Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous"Jerry ZaksStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster
April 23, 2007 (2007-04-23)12.27[98]
9422"Mr. McGlue's Feedbag"Jon CryerStory by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Don Foster
April 30, 2007 (2007-04-30)13.71[99]
9523"Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'"Lee AronsohnStory by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Mark Roberts & Jim Patterson
May 7, 2007 (2007-05-07)13.27[100]
9624"Prostitutes and Gelato"Ted WassStory by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
May 14, 2007 (2007-05-14)10.16[101]

Season 5 (2007–08)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
971"Large Birds, Spiders and Mom"Ted WassStory by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre
September 24, 2007 (2007-09-24)13.58[102]
982"Media Room Slash Dungeon"Ted WassStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
October 1, 2007 (2007-10-01)13.24[102]
993"Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo"Ted WassLee Aronsohn & Chuck LorreOctober 8, 2007 (2007-10-08)13.02[102]
1004"City of Great Racks"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Don Foster & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
October 15, 2007 (2007-10-15)13.69[102]
1015"Putting Swim Fins on a Cat"James WiddoesStory by : Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky
October 22, 2007 (2007-10-22)13.94[103]
1026"Help Daddy Find His Toenail"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
October 29, 2007 (2007-10-29)13.73[102]
1037"Our Leather Gear is in the Guest Room"Ted WassChuck Lorre & Lee AronsohnNovember 5, 2007 (2007-11-05)13.80[102]
1048"Is There a Mrs. Waffles?"Ted WassStory by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
November 12, 2007 (2007-11-12)14.12[102]
1059"Tight's Good"Jean SagalStory by : Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky
November 19, 2007 (2007-11-19)13.92[102]
10610"Kinda Like Necrophilia"Ted WassStory by : Jim Patterson & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
November 26, 2007 (2007-11-26)15.26[102]
10711"Meander to Your Dander"James WiddoesStory by : Don Foster & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
March 17, 2008 (2008-03-17)14.06[102]
10812"A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh"James WiddoesStory by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
March 24, 2008 (2008-03-24)14.23[102]
10913"The Soil is Moist"James WiddoesStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
March 31, 2008 (2008-03-31)14.50[102]
11014"Winky-Dink Time"James WiddoesStory by : Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
April 14, 2008 (2008-04-14)13.94[102]
11115"Rough Night in Hump Junction"James WiddoesStory by : Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
April 21, 2008 (2008-04-21)13.36[102]
11216"Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty"Joel ZwickStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster & Susan Beavers
April 28, 2008 (2008-04-28)12.91[102]
11317"Fish in a Drawer"Jeff MelmanStory by : Carol Mendelsohn & Naren Shankar
Teleplay by : Sarah Goldfinger & Evan Dunsky
May 5, 2008 (2008-05-05)13.61[102]
11418"If My Hole Could Talk"Jon CryerStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Mark Roberts
May 12, 2008 (2008-05-12)13.82[102]
11519"Waiting for the Right Snapper"Jeff MelmanStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Lee Aronsohn & Chuck Lorre
May 19, 2008 (2008-05-19)14.70[102]

Season 6 (2008–09)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
1161"Taterhead is Our Love Child"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Jim Patterson
September 22, 2008 (2008-09-22)14.88[104]
1172"Pie Hole, Herb"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers
September 29, 2008 (2008-09-29)13.58[105]
1183"Damn You, Eggs Benedict"Jean SagalStory by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
October 6, 2008 (2008-10-06)14.07[106]
1194"The Flavin' and the Mavin'"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
October 13, 2008 (2008-10-13)N/A
1205"A Jock Strap in Hell"Jean SagalStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers
October 20, 2008 (2008-10-20)14.63
1216"It's Always Nazi Week"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Jim Patterson
November 3, 2008 (2008-11-03)N/A
1227"Best H.O. Money Can Buy"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky
November 10, 2008 (2008-11-10)N/A
1238"Pinocchio's Mouth"Jeff MelmanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson
November 17, 2008 (2008-11-17)N/A
1249"The Mooch at the Boo"Jeff MelmanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers
November 24, 2008 (2008-11-24)N/A
12510"He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited"Jeff MelmanStory by : Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Susan Beavers
December 8, 2008 (2008-12-08)N/A
12611"The Devil's Lube"Jeff MelmanStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
December 15, 2008 (2008-12-15)N/A
12712"Thank God for Scoliosis"Jeff MelmanStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts
January 12, 2009 (2009-01-12)N/A
12813"I Think You Offended Don"Jeff MelmanStory by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Don Foster & Jim Patterson
January 19, 2009 (2009-01-19)N/A
12914"David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie"Jeff MelmanStory by : Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson
February 2, 2009 (2009-02-02)N/A
13015"I'd Like to Start with the Cat"Jeff MelmanStory by : Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Susan Beavers
February 9, 2009 (2009-02-09)N/A
13116"She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime"Jeff MelmanStory by : Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky
March 2, 2009 (2009-03-02)N/A
13217"The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?"James WiddoesStory by : Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster
March 9, 2009 (2009-03-09)N/A
13318"My Son's Enormous Head"James WiddoesStory by : Lee Aronsohn & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky
March 16, 2009 (2009-03-16)N/A
13419"The Two Finger Rule"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
March 30, 2009 (2009-03-30)N/A
13520"Hello, I am Alan Cousteau"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky
April 13, 2009 (2009-04-13)N/A
13621"Above Exalted Cyclops"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky
April 27, 2009 (2009-04-27)N/A
13722"Sir Lancelot's Litter Box"Jon CryerStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
May 4, 2009 (2009-05-04)N/A
13823"Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth"Mark RobertsStory by : Don Foster & Sid Youngers
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts & Eddie Gorodetsky
May 11, 2009 (2009-05-11)N/A
13924"Baseball Was Better with Steroids"Lee AronsohnStory by : Mark Roberts & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
May 18, 2009 (2009-05-18)N/A

Season 7 (2009–10)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
1401"818-jklpuzo"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster & Susan Beavers
September 21, 2009 (2009-09-21)13.63[107]
1412"Whipped Unto the Third Generation"James WiddoesMark RobertsSeptember 28, 2009 (2009-09-28)13.86[108]
1423"Mmm, Fish. Yum."James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
October 5, 2009 (2009-10-05)13.07[109]
1434"Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator"James WiddoesStory by : Susan Beavers & Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts
October 12, 2009 (2009-10-12)14.17[110]
1445"For the Sake of the Child"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Don Foster & Jim Patterson
October 19, 2009 (2009-10-19)14.07[111]
1456"Give Me Your Thumb"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : David Richardson
November 2, 2009 (2009-11-02)13.51[112]
1467"Untainted by Filth"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
November 9, 2009 (2009-11-09)14.44[113]
1478"Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle."James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
November 16, 2009 (2009-11-16)13.69[114]
1489"Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair"James WiddoesStory by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts
November 23, 2009 (2009-11-23)13.91[115]
14910"That's Why They Call It Ball Room"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky
December 7, 2009 (2009-12-07)14.84[116]
15011"Warning, It's Dirty"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Foster
December 14, 2009 (2009-12-14)16.37[117]
15112"Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Mark Roberts & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & David Richardson
January 11, 2010 (2010-01-11)17.27[118]
15213"Yay, No Polyps!"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Jim Patterson
January 18, 2010 (2010-01-18)16.20[119]
15314"Crude and Uncalled For"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Eddie Gorodetsky
February 1, 2010 (2010-02-01)16.51[120]
15415"Aye, Aye, Captain Douche"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Jim Patterson
February 8, 2010 (2010-02-08)17.66[121]
15516"Tinkle Like a Princess"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Jim Patterson
March 1, 2010 (2010-03-01)16.86[122]
15617"I Found Your Moustache"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
March 8, 2010 (2010-03-08)17.61[123]
15718"Ixnay on the Oggie Day"James WiddoesStory by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Mark Roberts
March 22, 2010 (2010-03-22)14.46[124]
15819"Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave"James WiddoesStory by : Mark Roberts & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
April 12, 2010 (2010-04-12)13.71[125]
15920"I Called Him Magoo"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster & Susan Beavers
May 10, 2010 (2010-05-10)13.86[126]
16021"Gumby with a Pokey"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers & David Richardson
Teleplay by : Mark Roberts, Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
May 17, 2010 (2010-05-17)13.28[127]
16122"This Is Not Gonna End Well"Lee AronsohnStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Mark Roberts & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers, Jim Patterson & David Richardson
May 24, 2010 (2010-05-24)15.46[128]

Season 8 (2010–11)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
1621"Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky
September 20, 2010 (2010-09-20)14.65[129]
1632"A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
September 27, 2010 (2010-09-27)13.92[130]
1643"A Pudding-Filled Cactus"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & David Richardson
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers
October 4, 2010 (2010-10-04)14.37[131]
1654"Hookers, Hookers, Hookers"James WiddoesStory by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Jim Patterson
October 11, 2010 (2010-10-11)13.47[132]
1665"The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
October 18, 2010 (2010-10-18)13.54[133]
1676"Twanging Your Magic Clanger"James WiddoesStory by : Lee Aronsohn & Don Foster
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
October 25, 2010 (2010-10-25)13.77[134]
1687"The Crazy Bitch Gazette"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
November 1, 2010 (2010-11-01)13.64[135]
1698"Springtime on a Stick"James WiddoesEddie Gorodetsky & Jim PattersonNovember 8, 2010 (2010-11-08)13.63[136]
1709"A Good Time in Central Africa"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
November 15, 2010 (2010-11-15)14.25[137]
17110"Ow, Ow, Don't Stop"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Don Reo & David Richardson
November 22, 2010 (2010-11-22)14.39[138]
17211"Dead from the Waist Down"James WiddoesStory by : Susan Beavers, David Richardson & Don Reo
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
December 6, 2010 (2010-12-06)13.41[139]
17312"Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
December 13, 2010 (2010-12-13)13.95[140]
17413"Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup"[141]James WiddoesStory by : Alissa Neubauer
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Don Reo & David Richardson
January 3, 2011 (2011-01-03)15.36[142]
17514"Lookin' for Japanese Subs"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers & Jim Patterson
January 17, 2011 (2011-01-17)15.56[143]
17615"Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak"James WiddoesEddie Gorodetsky & Jim PattersonFebruary 7, 2011 (2011-02-07)15.15[144]
17716"That Darn Priest"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, David Richardson & Don Reo
February 14, 2011 (2011-02-14)14.51[145]

Season 9 (2011–12)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
1781"Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt"James WiddoesChuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim PattersonSeptember 19, 2011 (2011-09-19)28.74[146]
1792"People Who Love Peepholes"James WiddoesChuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim PattersonSeptember 26, 2011 (2011-09-26)20.52[147]
1803"Big Girls Don't Throw Food"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Andrew J. B. Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
October 3, 2011 (2011-10-03)17.71[148]
1814"Nine Magic Fingers"James WiddoesStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
October 10, 2011 (2011-10-10)16.20[149]
1825"A Giant Cat Holding a Churro"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Don Reo & David Richardson
October 17, 2011 (2011-10-17)15.14[150]
1836"The Squat and the Hover"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Don Reo & David Richardson
October 24, 2011 (2011-10-24)15.29[151]
1847"Those Fancy Japanese Toilets"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
October 31, 2011 (2011-10-31)13.90[152]
1858"Thank You for the Intercourse"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Susan McMartin
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
November 7, 2011 (2011-11-07)14.71[153]
1869"Frodo's Headshots"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Susan Beavers, Don Reo & David Richardson
November 14, 2011 (2011-11-14)14.77[154]
18710"A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Gemma Baker
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
November 21, 2011 (2011-11-21)15.82[155]
18811"What a Lovely Landing Strip"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo
December 5, 2011 (2011-12-05)15.18[156]
18912"One False Move, Zimbabwe!"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky & Don Reo
December 12, 2011 (2011-12-12)14.88[157]
19013"Slowly and in a Circular Fashion"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Ashton Kutcher
Teleplay by : Lee Aronsohn & Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
January 2, 2012 (2012-01-02)13.94[158]
19114"A Possum on Chemo"James WiddoesStory by : Susan Beavers & Susan McMartin
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson
January 16, 2012 (2012-01-16)13.02[159]
19215"The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, & Don Reo
February 6, 2012 (2012-02-06)13.00[160]
19316"Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy"James WiddoesStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, & Don Reo
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
February 13, 2012 (2012-02-13)12.45[161]
19417"Not in My Mouth!"James WiddoesStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, & Don Reo
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
February 20, 2012 (2012-02-20)13.33[162]
19518"The War Against Gingivitis"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, & Don Reo
February 27, 2012 (2012-02-27)11.92[163]
19619"Palmdale, Ech"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, & Don Reo
March 19, 2012 (2012-03-19)11.47[164]
19720"Grandma's Pie"James WiddoesStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
April 9, 2012 (2012-04-09)10.40[165]
19821"Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'"James WiddoesStory by : Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo
April 16, 2012 (2012-04-16)11.22[166]
19922"Why We Gave Up Women"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo
April 30, 2012 (2012-04-30)11.32[167]
20023"The Straw in My Donut Hole"James WiddoesStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn & Susan Beavers
May 7, 2012 (2012-05-07)11.43[168]
20124"Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay by : Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson & Don Reo
May 14, 2012 (2012-05-14)11.55[169]

Season 10 (2012–13)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
2021"I Changed My Mind About the Milk"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson
September 27, 2012 (2012-09-27)12.54[170]
2032"A Big Bag of Dog"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky
October 4, 2012 (2012-10-04)12.33[171]
2043"Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre & Eddie Gorodetsky
October 11, 2012 (2012-10-11)11.35[172]
2054"You Do Know What the Lollipop's For"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Alissa Neubauer
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Eddie Gorodetsky
October 18, 2012 (2012-10-18)13.60[173]
2065"That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam"James WiddoesStory by : Eddie Gorodetsky & Susan McMartin
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo & Jim Patterson
October 25, 2012 (2012-10-25)12.94[174]
2076"Ferrets, Attack!"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Matt Ross and Max Searle
November 1, 2012 (2012-11-01)12.65[175]
2087"Avoid the Chinese Mustard"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Gemma Baker
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky
November 8, 2012 (2012-11-08)14.07[176]
2098"Something My Gynecologist Said"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Don Reo & Eddie Gorodetsky
November 15, 2012 (2012-11-15)13.87[177]
2109"I Scream When I Pee"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Don Reo
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky & Steve Tompkins
November 29, 2012 (2012-11-29)13.74[178]
21110"One Nut Johnson"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Chuck Lorre, Steve Tompkins & Alissa Neubauer
December 6, 2012 (2012-12-06)13.50[179]
21211"Give Santa a Tail-Hole"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Matt Ross & Max Searle
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky
December 13, 2012 (2012-12-13)13.35[180]
21312"Welcome to Alancrest"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo and Steve Tompkins
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky and Susan McMartin
January 3, 2013 (2013-01-03)15.41[181]
21413"Grab a Feather and Get in Line"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, & Gemma Baker
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Alissa Neubauer
January 10, 2013 (2013-01-10)14.40[182]
21514"Run, Steven Staven! Run!"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Jim Patterson and Susan McMartin
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky and Steve Tompkins
January 31, 2013 (2013-01-31)13.70[183]
21615"Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo and Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Matt Ross and Max Searle
February 7, 2013 (2013-02-07)14.12[184]
21716"Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky and Alissa Neubauer
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Don Reo and Steve Tompkins
February 14, 2013 (2013-02-14)13.69[185]
21817"Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Jim Patterson and Nick Bakay
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky and Gemma Baker
February 21, 2013 (2013-02-21)13.41[186]
21918"The 9:04 from Pemberton"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Jim Patterson and Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Steve Tompkins and Alissa Neubauer
March 7, 2013 (2013-03-07)13.54[187]
22019"Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo and Gemma Baker
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky and Susan McMartin
March 14, 2013 (2013-03-14)12.18[188]
22120"Bazinga! That's from a TV Show"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Jim Patterson and Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross and Max Searle
April 4, 2013 (2013-04-04)13.71[189]
22221"Another Night with Neil Diamond"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo and Steve Tompkins
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky and Nick Bakay
April 25, 2013 (2013-04-25)11.32[190]
22322"My Bodacious Vidalia"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Eddie Gorodetsky
Teleplay by : Gemma Baker, Matt Ross and Max Searle
May 2, 2013 (2013-05-02)12.12[191]
22423"Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Alissa Neubauer and Susan McMartin
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Eddie Gorodetsky
May 9, 2013 (2013-05-09)12.83[192]

Season 11 (2013–14)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
2251"Nangnangnangnang"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Susan McMartin
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins
September 26, 2013 (2013-09-26)11.59[193]
2262"I Think I Banged Lucille Ball"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Alissa Neubauer
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Jeff Lowell
October 3, 2013 (2013-10-03)9.34[194]
2273"This Unblessed Biscuit"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross & Max Searle
October 10, 2013 (2013-10-10)9.14[195]
2284"Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre & Susan McMartin
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Don Reo & Steve Tompkins
October 17, 2013 (2013-10-17)8.59[196]
2295"Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003"James WiddoesStory by : Steve Tompkins, Alissa Neubauer & Don Reo
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Jeff Lowell & Jim Vallely
October 24, 2013 (2013-10-24)8.53[197]
2306"Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Susan McMartin & Jon Cryer
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher & Jeff Lowell
November 7, 2013 (2013-11-07)8.27[198]
2317"Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie"James WiddoesStory by : Jim Patterson, Steve Tompkins & Jeff Lowell
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross & Max Searle
November 14, 2013 (2013-11-14)8.66[199]
2328"Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room."James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Jim Patterson and Steve Tompkins
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Susan McMartin and Saladin K. Patterson
November 21, 2013 (2013-11-21)8.69[200]
2339"Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Tim Kelleher, Nathan Chetty
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Saladin K. Patterson, Jim Valley
December 5, 2013 (2013-12-05)8.47[201]
23410"On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, Jeff Lowell
Teleplay by : Saladin K. Patterson, Matt Ross, Max Searle
December 12, 2013 (2013-12-12)8.54[202]
23511"Tazed in the Lady Nuts"James WiddoesStory by : Tim Kelleher, Jeff Lowell and Jim Vallely
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Steve Tompkins
January 2, 2014 (2014-01-02)8.74[203]
23612"Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball."James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Susan McMartin and Leslie Shapira
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Matt Ross and Max Searle
January 9, 2014 (2014-01-09)9.58[204]
23713"Bite Me, Supreme Court"James WiddoesStory by : Tim Kelleher, Jeff Lowell and Jim Vallely
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Steve Tompkins
January 30, 2014 (2014-01-30)8.86[205]
23814"Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Maria Espada Pearce
Teleplay by : Steve Tompkins, Saladin K. Patterson and Susan McMartin
February 6, 2014 (2014-02-06)8.32[206]
23915"Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin"James WiddoesStory by : Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher and Jim Vallely
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross and Max Searle
February 27, 2014 (2014-02-27)10.02[207]
24016"How to Get Rid of Alan Harper"James WiddoesStory by : Saladin K. Patterson, Jim Vallely and Leslie Schapira
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Jeff Lowell
March 6, 2014 (2014-03-06)10.38[208]
24117"Welcome Home, Jake"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Saladin K. Patterson
Teleplay by : Tim Kelleher, Matt Ross and Max Searle
March 13, 2014 (2014-03-13)9.43[209]
24218"West Side Story"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Susan McMartin
Teleplay by : Jeff Lowell, Matt Ross and Max Searle
April 3, 2014 (2014-04-03)9.23[210]
24319"Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang"James WiddoesStory by : Jeff Lowell, Matt Ross and Max Searle
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson and Steve Tompkins
April 10, 2014 (2014-04-10)9.55[211]
24420"Lotta Delis in Little Armenia"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Steve Tompkins and Saladin K. Patterson
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher and Jim Vallely
April 24, 2014 (2014-04-24)9.35[212]
24521"Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT"James WiddoesStory by : Jim Patterson, Matt Ross and Max Searle
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Steve Tompkins and Susan McMartin
May 1, 2014 (2014-05-01)8.97[213]
24622"Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher and Jim Vallely
Teleplay by : Steve Tompkins, Jeff Lowell, Matt Ross and Max Searle
May 8, 2014 (2014-05-08)8.35[214]

Season 12 (2014–15)[edit]

No.
overall
No. in
season
TitleDirected byWritten byOriginal air dateU.S. viewers
(millions)
2471"The Ol' Mexican Spinach"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, & Warren Bell
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Steve Tompkins
October 30, 2014 (2014-10-30)10.29[215]
2482"A Chic Bar in Ibiza"James WiddoesStory by : Lee Aronsohn, Don Reo, & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Tim Kelleher, Saladin K. Patterson, & Jim Vallely
November 6, 2014 (2014-11-06)9.12[216]
2493"Glamping in a Yurt"James WiddoesStory by : Saladin K. Patterson, Matt Ross, & Max Searle
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Jim Vallely
November 13, 2014 (2014-11-13)8.75[217]
2504"Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Steve Tompkins
Teleplay by : Warren Bell, Matt Ross, & Max Searle
November 20, 2014 (2014-11-20)8.62[218]
2515"Oontz. Oontz. Oontz."James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Steve Tompkins, & Warren Bell
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher, & Saladin K. Patterson
November 27, 2014 (2014-11-27)6.93[219]
2526"Alan Shot a Little Girl"Jon CryerStory by : Don Reo, Maria Espada Pearce, Nathan Chetty
Teleplay by : Jim Patterson, Steve Tompkins, Warren Bell
December 4, 2014 (2014-12-04)8.10[220]
2537"Sex with an Animated Ed Asner"James WiddoesStory by : Jim Patterson, Jim Vallely and Tim Kelleher
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross and Max Searle
December 11, 2014 (2014-12-11)9.30[221]
2548"Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey"James WiddoesStory by : Warren Bell, Saladin K. Patterson, & Jim Vallely
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Steve Thompkins
December 18, 2014 (2014-12-18)8.80[222]
2559"Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey"James WiddoesStory by : Jim Patterson, Tim Kelleher, & Saladin K. Patterson
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Matt Ross, & Max Searle
January 8, 2015 (2015-01-08)10.07[223]
25610"Here I Come, Pants!"James WiddoesStory by : Chuck Lorre, Don Reo, & Jim Patterson
Teleplay by : Tim Kelleher, Matt Ross, & Max Searle
January 15, 2015 (2015-01-15)9.38[224]
25711"For Whom the Booty Calls"James WiddoesStory by : Warren Bell, Saladin K. Patterson, & Jim Vallely
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Steve Tompkins
January 22, 2015 (2015-01-22)9.31[225]
25812"A Beer-Battered Rip-Off"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson, & Jeff Lowell
Teleplay by : Matt Ross, Max Searle, & Nathan Chetty
January 29, 2015 (2015-01-29)9.71[226]
25913"Boompa Loved His Hookers"James WiddoesStory by : Steve Tompkins, Warren Bell & Jeff Lowell
Teleplay by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Nathan Chetty
February 5, 2015 (2015-02-05)9.39[227]
26014"Don't Give a Monkey a Gun"James WiddoesStory by : Don Reo, Jim Patterson & Tim Kelleher
Teleplay by : Jim Vallely, Matt Ross & Max Searle
February 12, 2015 (2015-02-12)9.33[228]
261
262
15
16
"Of Course He's Dead"James WiddoesChuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Don Reo & Jim PattersonFebruary 19, 2015 (2015-02-19)13.52[229]

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External links[edit]