Marry Me a Little (Desperate Housewives)
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|"Marry Me a Little"|
|Desperate Housewives episode|
|Episode no.||Season 5|
|Directed by||Larry Shaw|
|Written by||Jason Ganzel|
|Original air date||May 10, 2009|
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Karl suggests several shady ways for Bree to hide her assets from Orson, including keeping double books, that she readily agrees to. But she can't believe her ears when he wants her to rob her own house.
Dave asks M.J. what he thinks of Jackson and turns the conversation to the fire at the nightclub, and whether the police have been by to question him about it.
Gabrielle spends a fortune on a new vase, but refuses to shell out for the canopy bed that Juanita wants because her friend has one. Juanita points out that they're supposed to be rich, so Gaby drags her to the church's soup kitchen to teach her gratitude for what she has. There, Gaby runs into an old friend, Fran, who used to be extremely well-off but is now homeless. Gabrielle decides Fran's downfall must have been a drinking or gambling problem.
Susan and Jackson plan to marry at City Hall in a few days, but he suggests having a big engagement party to convince immigration that it's a legitimate marriage. She's taken aback when he insists she can't tell anyone, not even her friends, that the marriage is a fraud. Jackson and Susan tell Mike and Katherine the news: Katherine is thrilled and throws her arms around Susan but Mike is worried that it's all happening too fast.
Tom's discouraged after he blew an interview because he didn't know what "Twittering" was. "I am a dinosaur," he laments. "My time has passed."
At Jackson and Susan's engagement party, Dave comments that he and Jackson probably haven't seen each other since the fire and Jackson mentions that he ran into a detective who wants to question him about that night. As Jackson starts to relate what he saw, Dave knocks over a tray of wine glasses. Orson says that Bree knows how to get red wine stains out of carpet, but can't find her.
That's because Bree is with Karl, breaking into her own house. Bree directs Karl on what to take, but when she starts rearranging the mantel to make up for the items they're taking, he knocks everything to the floor. "This place has to look like it was ransacked by robbers, not someone's personal shopper," he admonishes her. He wants to know why she's so uptight and encourages her to let loose a little. She insists she'd rather be a lady, but gives in and smashes a dental award Orson is very proud of.
At the party, Tom runs into an old college friend who looks remarkably young. The friend confesses his secret: He's had a facelift! And now Tom wants one too. "We can't afford it," Lynette says, but he claims it's an investment in their future.
Mike is happy he no longer has to pay alimony since Susan is getting remarried. Susan drags Jackson aside to tell him how much she needs Mike's money, saying, "I'm sorry, but I can't marry you." He points out that he'll be sent back to Canada and she rolls her eyes and says, "It's Canada, not Iran. It's like America with free health insurance." She promises to talk to Mike to see if they can "work something out."
When Orson and Bree return home, Orson is shocked to see the house obviously looted. "We've been robbed," exclaims Bree. "It wasn't me, I swear," says Orson.
Gaby returns to the shelter to help Fran out, but mostly to find out what brought her so low. Fran tells her that her husband got sick and by the time he died, they'd lost all their money. "We're all just an accident or a tumor or a bad investment away from standing in line for free soup," she says as she takes the money. Gaby explains that she and Carlos managed to bounce back from their days of being poor. Fran hopes Gaby's luck holds and she never loses her house.
Mike casually asks Katherine to marry him and she excitedly says yes. She wonders what brought on his proposal and he answers, "Just seems like the right time." But when she goes to hug him, she sees what he was just looking at: Jackson and Susan.
Orson stirs some romantic memories in Bree when he draws the Venetian mask that was stolen. He's faxed it to the shop where they bought it so they can make a new one. When she can't believe he'd go to all that trouble, he replies, "Then you must not know how much you mean to me."
Dave calls Katherine: he's getting back on the promotional speaking trail and wants her to look in on the house while he's gone. Just then, Susan knocks on Katherine's door. When she learns that Mike isn't home, Susan admits that the wedding is only to keep Jackson in the country and that it all hangs on whether Mike can keep paying her alimony. Realizing her own wedding depends on Susan's, Katherine blurts out, "You have to!" and offers to talk to Mike. Because Katherine put the phone on the table while she "got rid of" Susan, Dave heard the whole conversation. He hangs up the phone with a smile.
Lynette brings home a coworker with a botched facelift to convince Tom to give up the idea, but Tom is undeterred. Lynette believes if he gets surgery, someday he's going to want her to go under the knife as well. She recalls all the incidents that gave him the lines on his face and says, "It's like a map of our marriage, and I don't want to lose it."
Bree tells Karl she's having second thoughts about divorcing Orson, but he talks her back into it, saying that all women get cold feet at some point and that Orson really is "that bad."
Susan gets a text that reads, "I'll keep paying the alimony, Mike." Only the message isn't from Mike, but Katherine, who immediately deletes it.
Susan and Jackson are on their way to get married, but before they can drive to City Hall, a car pulls up with two immigration officials who arrest Jackson. Katherine looks worriedly at Mike while Dave looks on and smiles.
Bree's phone rings and Orson answers it. It's from the storage unit she recently rented, telling him that they accidentally overcharged her. Orson goes to the unit and finds all the stolen items, including the mask.
Mike presents Katherine with a ring, but looks sadly across the street.
- This title is taken from the song of the same name that was cut from the 1970 Stephen Sondheim musical, Company. (It returned, however, for the 1995 revival.)
- Although credited, Nicollette Sheridan (Edie Britt), Shawn Pyfrom (Andrew Van De Kamp), Charlie Carver (Porter Scavo), Max Carver (Preston Scavo), and Kendall Applegate (Penny Scavo), do not appear in this episode.
- This episode attracted 12.29 million viewers.
- French: Épouse-moi... un peu (Marry me ... a little)
- German: Ein kleines bisschen Hochzeit (A little bit of wedding)
- Hebrew: הינשאי לי במקצת (Hinas'i Li BeMiktzat; Marry Me a Little)
- Hungarian: Végy egy kicsit feleségül! (Marry Me a Little)
- Italian: Maschere (Masks)
- Slovenian: Razočarane gospodinje (Desperate Housewives)