Peggy Vaughan

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Peggy Vaughan

Peggy Vaughan (1936 – November 8, 2012), became well known in 1980, when she and her husband, James Vaughan, publicly shared their story of overcoming infidelity on the American Phil Donahue Show[1] and in the book, "Beyond Affairs." Over the next 30 years, Vaughan became known "as an internationally recognized expert in the area of extramarital affairs."[2] Public reaction led Vaughan to create the Beyond Affairs Network "to help others whose marriages were impacted by infidelity."[3]

In 1989, Vaughan published "The Monogamy Myth," which challenged many of the prevailing attitudes and assumptions about the issue of extramarital affairs with the goal of "helping people be better prepared to either prevent affairs or to recover if it happens."[2] A follow-up edition was published in 2003 with the subtitle "A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs."[3]

In addition to multiple appearances on The Phil Donahue Show, Vaughan frequently appeared in the national media as an expert on infidelity, including on Oprah, Montel Williams, CNN, CBS's 48 Hours, and Fox News.[3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18]

Beginning in 1991, Vaughan and her husband began conducting public seminars for individuals and couples on "recovering from affairs," later organizing the handouts from those seminars into a handbook for couples.[3] In 1992, the Vaughans wrote "Making Love Stay," which shared their insights about long-term relationships.

In a 1999 keynote at the Smart Marriages conference, Vaughan shared her perspective on rebuilding marriage after an affair:[19]

  • Answer all questions and hang in through the inevitable emotional turmoil.
  • Sever contact with the third party and build trust through actions, not promises.
  • Make a commitment to honesty and ongoing honest communication.
  • Accept the fact that monogamy is an issue that's never settled "once and for all."

After a four-year battle with cancer, Vaughan died at her home in La Jolla, California on November 8, 2012. Upon her death, many of her writings were donated to the public.[3][20][21]

Bibliography[edit]

  • Vaughan, Peggy (2003). The Monogamy Myth: A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs. New York, NY: William Morrow. ISBN 1557045429. 
  • Vaughan, Peggy (2008). Lifedesign: Living Your Life By Choice Instead Of Chance. New York, NY: Dialog Press. p. 124. ISBN 0936390220. 
  • Vaughan, Peggy (2008). To Have and To Hold. New York, NY: William Morrow. p. 208. ISBN 1557048517. 
  • Vaughan, Peggy (2008). Musings on Life. New York, NY: Dialog Press. p. 248. ISBN 0936390239. 
  • Vaughan, Peggy (2009). Making Love Stay: Everything You Ever Knew About Love But Forgot. New York, NY: Dialog Press. p. 242. ISBN 0936390271. 
  • Vaughan, Peggy (2010). Help for Therapists (and their Clients) in dealing with affairs. New York, NY: Dialog Press. p. 162. ISBN 0936390204. 
  • Vaughan, Peggy (2010). Beyond Affairs. New York, NY: Dialog Press. p. 252. ISBN 0936390182. 
  • Vaughan, Peggy (2010). Dear Peggy: Peggy Vaughan answers questions about extramarital affairs. New York, NY: Dialog Press. p. 330. ISBN 0936390298. 

External links[edit]

References[edit]

  1. ^ Diluna, Amy. "'Affair' presents both sides," New York Daily News, October 9, 2004. [1]
  2. ^ a b Harper Collins, "Peggy Vaughan."
  3. ^ a b c d e DearPeggy.com
  4. ^ Bernstein, Elizabeth. "What Couples Do in the Aftermath of an Affair Can Determine Whether They'll Have a Future Together," Wall Street Journal, May 1, 2012. [2]
  5. ^ Shellenbarger, Sue. "Do You Have a 'Work Spouse'?" Wall Street Journal, February 8, 2011. [3]
  6. ^ McCarthy, Ellen. "The Monogamy Myth," The Washington Post, November 17, 2010. [4]
  7. ^ Ravitz, Jessica. "Silent no more, wives go public about their husbands' affairs," CNN, February 4, 2010. [5]
  8. ^ Schipani, Denise. "Are You Emotionally Cheating? Find out what constitutes this other form of infidelity," Woman's Day, December 23, 2009. [6]
  9. ^ Carey, Benedict and Parker-Pope, Tara. "Marriage Stands Up for Itself," New York Times, November 12, 2008. [7]
  10. ^ Shellenbarger, Sue. "Advances in Couples Therapy Tackle Trauma of Infidelity," Wall Street Journal, November 12, 2008. [8]
  11. ^ Wetzstein, Cheryl. "Honesty best way to prevent affairs," The Washington Times, August 31, 2008. [9]
  12. ^ Wetzstein, Cheryl. "Marriages can survive affairs," The Washington Times, August 24, 2008. [10]
  13. ^ Jayson, Sharon. "Infidelity today has a new face: Modern world blurs rules about what's acceptable," USA Today, July 1, 2008. [11]
  14. ^ Granthan, Loretta. "THE UNFAITHFUL:They don't confess unless they're in a mess," Palm Beach Post, March 21, 2008. [12]
  15. ^ Kornblum, Janet. "Path to scandal: Why does this keep happening? Experts call it hubris, thrill, entitlement," USA Today, March 12, 2008. [13]
  16. ^ Rosenblum, Gail. "Relationships: Got the third-wheel workplace blues?" Minneapolis/St. Paul Star Tribune, January 25, 2008. [14]
  17. ^ Stoller, Gary. "Infidelity is in the air for road warriors: Being away from home tempts some to cheat," USA Today, April 20, 2007. [15]
  18. ^ Teich, Mark. "Love, But Don't Touch," Psychology Today, March 2006
  19. ^ "The Monogamy Myth," Keynote at 1999 Smart Marriages conference, Washington, D.C. [16]
  20. ^ Sollee, Diane. "Sad News, Happy News." Smart Marriages, November 11, 2012. [17]
  21. ^ Eisenberg, Seth. "Peggy Vaughan, Infidelity Expert, Dies at 76." Fatherhood Channel, November 13, 2012.