Talk:1861 Atlantic hurricane season/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 01:03, 20 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I guess I'll review this since I'm used to the subject matter.

  • Very minor quibble, but could you provide a source that says the first year of the Civil War was in 1861? I love the opening sentence and that context, but someone might argue about it if this went further than GA.
    • Ditto with "although the typical method for determining that record—central barometric air pressure—is not a reliable indicator due to a general lack of data and observations."
      • I added a source for the war beginning in 1861, but for that second fact, I think it qualifies as purely descriptive info, which doesn't require a source. Juliancolton (talk) 20:00, 20 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "What is likely the most noteworthy storm of the season followed a similar track" - kinda meh wording (and bordering WP:POVish). Why not describe the hurricane differently, such as bringing back the Civil War part sooner in that context, or something, IDK.
      • I'm not really sure what to do here, since it was, without doubt, the most notable storm of the season. Juliancolton (talk) 20:00, 20 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In many cases, the only evidence that a hurricane existed was reports from ships in its path, and judging by the direction of winds experienced by ships, and their location in relation to the storm, it is possible to roughly pinpoint the storm's center of circulation for a given point in time." - bit of a run-on
  • "The first storm to be first identified" - could you reword to avoid two "first"s?
  • "In the aftermath of the Battle of Carnifex Ferry in present-day West Virginia, Rutherford B. Hayes, who would later become the 19th President of the United States, of the 23rd Ohio Infantry was camped south of the battlesite, where he wrote about a "very cold rain-storm" in a September 27 letter to his wife Lucy" - cool stuff, but awkward placement for "of the 23rd Ohio Infantry". Try reorganizing.
  • "Conditions at the time were characterized by leaking tents and temperatures getting "colder and colder": "We were out yesterday P.M. very near to the enemy's works; were caught in the first of this storm and thoroughly soaked. I hardly expect to be dry again until the storm is over.""
    • I'm not so sure if it is formatted correctly with regards to the quote. Could you just split off the latter portion and say something like "Hayes wrote, "...""?
  • Who said this - "the largest fleet of war ships and transports ever assembled"?
  • Ludlum, who I have sourced immediately after the quote. Juliancolton (talk) 20:00, 20 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In response, a man transported customers to and from the bar on his private boat at a cost of two cents per ride" - cool :)
  • "and along the Newark Turnpike and Plank Road, which was left temporarily impassible" - is that grammatically correct? My inner grammarian isn't liking the two roads and having a "was", but if "Newark Turnpike and Plank Road" is one entity (in which case, could you just list one?), then "was" would be correct.

All in all, a great read. I'm fine with passing it once these are done. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 01:03, 20 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! Juliancolton (talk) 20:00, 20 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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