Talk:1975 Pacific hurricane season/GA1
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Reviewer: Hurricanefan25 (talk · contribs) 18:38, 13 October 2011 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- The storms section strikes mhttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:1975_Pacific_hurricane_season/GA1&action=edite as a bit odd. Why not put that info in the section in the lede?
- It's suppose to be the season summary section :P YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For Hurricane Agatha, the phrasing is a bit awkward. "Although Agatha passed close to mainland Mexico while weakening,[9] it caused no known impact in that country.[7]" Why not write it as "Although Agatha passed close to Mexico as it weakened, no impact is known to have been caused."
- Put in something similar. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- "...taking its multi-million dollar cargo of 71 containers of canned tuna with it."—"Containers with canned tuna" sounds weird, as you aren't very clear. Do you mean those containers were the cans, or the containers have cans of tuna in them? If the second one, what type of container was it?
- I honestly don't know. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For Tropical Storm Bridget, you wrote "...accelerating as it turned to the northwest, then west, and then southwesterly." The phrasing, again, is weird.
- Reworded. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- Again, "...caused no known impact" sounds strange. Think of other ways to phrase this.
- For Hurricane Carlotta, you are writing a really short sentence here: "It became a hurricane on July 3." Why not add in the next sentence? "It became a hurricane on July 3, and ultimately peaked as a Category 3 hurricane."
- Combined. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- "Hurricane Carlotta was first major hurricane, Category 3 or higher, of the season." You already linked the SSHS page, which should explain what a major hurricane is, so I don't think you need to explain what intensity a major hurricane is. But I'm not sure, really, about what you should do with this sentence.
- The SSHS page does not explain what a major hurricane is. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For Hurricane Denise, you say "headed west to northwestward." I don't get what that means. Do you mean it first headed west, then traveled northwestward, or do you mean to say west-northwestward?
- Reworded. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- "It continued to strengthen." Can you perhaps chain this sentence with another? It's pretty short.
- For Tropical Storm Eleanor, you need a comma after "July 10".
- "...upgraded into Tropical Storm Eleanor" You need a period there.
- Done. 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- "Moved northwestward, and then northward, the system made landfall near Manzanillo on July 12." I'd suggest rewording to "The tropical storm moved northwestward, and later curved northward. The system made landfall near Manzanillo on July 12."
- Incorporated your suggestion. 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For Tropical Storm Hilary, you say "Based on this, this system was classified as Tropical Depression Nine on August 13." Why not use "based on these circumstances..."
- I don't see any need to make the change. 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For Hurricane Ilsa, you say "from a weather system"—what kind of weather system? A broad area of low-pressure?
- Can you squeeze the strengthening of Ilsa into one sentence?
- "...caused no known casualties or damage." Here we go again :/
- Removed "known". YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For Hurricane Jewel, you say that Jewel was a hurricane for only six hours, the minimum possible time. That's not true, but you're speaking advisory-wise; try saying that it was only a hurricane for six hours.
- How is it not true? HURDAT times are every 6 hours. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For Hurricane Katrina...grammar, grammar, grammar. "tropical Storm" should be "tropical storm" and "September 2, No damage" should be "September 2, no damage"
- Fixed. 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For the unnamed Pacific Northwest hurricane, link to cold-core low.
- Wikilinked per request. 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For Hurricane Lily, the section reads "000 UTC"—I think you mean 0000 UTC :)
- The first sentence of the section is awkward; maybe you could phrase it like "Reports of wind and rain near Acapulco suggested a tropical depression..."
- The reports did not come from near Acapulco, they came from Acapulco. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For Tropical Storm Nanette, the phrasing is strange again, maybe you could try "On September 28, a system developed into a tropical depression, simultaneously with Tropical Storm Monica."
- Added suggestion. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For Hurricane Olivia, the section says "...thunderstorms south of Mexico and then strengthened into a tropical storm"—try "...thunderstorms south of Mexico, later strengthening into a tropical storm."
- That sounds weird. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- For Tropical Storm Priscilla, remove the "a". Maybe you could try "A nearly stationary cloudy area developed circulation..."
- That does not make sense. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- In the tropical cyclone naming section, the article reads "...from the west Pacific's typhoon list"—that makes me thing you're talking about a list of typhoons. Maybe try "...from the naming list of Pacific typhoons."
- Reworded. YE Pacific Hurricane 17:32, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- The storms section strikes mhttp://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:1975_Pacific_hurricane_season/GA1&action=edite as a bit odd. Why not put that info in the section in the lede?
- a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- The first thing that strikes me here is reference 18; there's a citation error.
- Refs #3, #7, and #21 are duplicates, but they're all dead links.
- Removed and repaired. YE Pacific Hurricane 18:10, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- Citation number 5 is a dead link.
- In "Staff Writer," "Writer" shouldn't be capitalized.
- Fixed. 18:10, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- Italicize news agencies (e.g. USA Today).
- Ref #6 is a dead link.
- Ref #13 has a tiny formatting mistake in the link, it seems.
- Looks fine to me. 18:10, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- Ref #8 gives an "internal server error".
- Consistency with dates is needed.
- Not a requirement for GA. YE Pacific Hurricane 18:10, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- Immediately, I see a problem in the Hurricane Agatha section. There's practically no pre-tropical cyclonegenisis. Though elsewhere, the article looks fine.
- Added. 18:10, 15 October 2011 (UTC)
- Immediately, I see a problem in the Hurricane Agatha section. There's practically no pre-tropical cyclonegenisis. Though elsewhere, the article looks fine.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Fair enough. Passing! :) HurricaneFan25 20:56, 15 October 2011 (UTC)