Talk:2001 Malaysian Grand Prix/GA1
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Reviewer: Usernameunique (talk · contribs) 07:30, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
Lead
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Background
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Practice
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Qualifying
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Post-qualifying
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Race
though he drove away from his starting slot
— "as he drove"?- Changed MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
the race was shortened from 56 to 55 laps.
— Why? Did they have to do a full lap around the track to reset?- Clarified MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
Ralf Schumacher twitched
— What does it mean to twitch?- Clarified MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
As the two Ferraris pulled away from the rest of the field on lap two, Panis' engine failed, pitching his car backwards into the gravel trap through fire erupting from its rear due to an oil leak that ignited on his hot exhaust and laid on the track's centre.
— This is a long and confusing sentence. I'd suggest splitting it in two, possibly with a semicolon. And how does a car travel "through" fire in its read? It also took me several more sentences of reading before realizing that you mean some of the unignited oil was what came to rest on the track's center.Both drivers slid into the gravel trap
— Because they hit the oil?- That is correct MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
Although he had radio communications trouble to his pit wall
— What the pit wall? And I think you mean "with" rather than "to".- Reworded MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
- Is the "pit wall" a colloquial term for those members of the pit crew who are behind the wall (which I presume comprises the more strategy-focused members, whereas the more mechanics-minded attend to the car)?
- Yes it is in motor racing speak. Have changed it to say Coulthard was unable to communicate with his team. MWright96 (talk) 18:44, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- Is the "pit wall" a colloquial term for those members of the pit crew who are behind the wall (which I presume comprises the more strategy-focused members, whereas the more mechanics-minded attend to the car)?
- Reworded MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
The team's technical director Ross Brawn called Michael Schumacher in first and not his teammate Barrichello as the two had an incorrect intermediate tyre allocation. Barrichello was stationary for 1 minute and 12 seconds because Ferrari were missing his front-right wheel and debris was removed from his sidepods. Michael Schumacher was behind Barrichello and the duo emerged in 10th and 11th.
— This is also confusing. If Barrichello was called in first, why was Schumacher there at the same time? What is an incorrect intermediate tyre allocation? If Schumacher was there with him, wasn't Schumacher also stopped for more than a minute?- Reworded MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
- It's still confusing; it now says Schumacher was called in first, but then sat behind Barrichello. Also I think the URL for the source is incorrect, and should be fixed. Looking at a different source, it says that "Barrichello arrived first and Schumacher sat impatiently behind for a full 72 seconds as the gravel and detritus was cleared out from every nook and cranny." Doesn't this mean that Schumacher was not called in first?
- Done both MWright96 (talk) 18:44, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- It's still confusing; it now says Schumacher was called in first, but then sat behind Barrichello. Also I think the URL for the source is incorrect, and should be fixed. Looking at a different source, it says that "Barrichello arrived first and Schumacher sat impatiently behind for a full 72 seconds as the gravel and detritus was cleared out from every nook and cranny." Doesn't this mean that Schumacher was not called in first?
- Reworded MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
In the meantime, Ralf Schumacher passed Frentzen for fifth after a short duel on lap 24, and four laps later overtook Häkkinen for fifth.
— Something is off here: if he passed Frentzen for fifth, than it seems he would be in fourth after overtaking Häkkinen.- Changed the wording of the sentence MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
Coulthard reduced the deficit to Barrichello by 4.5 seconds
— He took 4.5 seconds off the deficit, or he cut the deficit to 4.5 seconds?- Clarified MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
but emitted a large amount of carbon brake dust each time he braked into the heavy braking zones
— Did this affect his performance at all?- That is not clearly stated in the sources MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
Post-race
- What's a pace advantage?
- Changed the wording MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
they also had an extraordinary pitstop when the safety car was out
— So was the 72-second stop actually not that big of a deal, because of the timing?- Reworded the sentence MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
- The problem isn't so much this sentence—which now has a grammatical issue ("and slow pit stop under safety car conditions")—but the fact that the article treats the slow stop inconsistently. In "Race," it sounds like a big deal; the image caption even suggests that the 72-second pit stop was the reason for Barrichello finishing second. But then it turns out that Schumacher also had a 72-second pit stop, and then in "Post-race," we find out that this pit stop (if unfortunate) wasn't that big of a deal, because it happened while the safety car was out, so the lost time was minimized.
- Changed to a completely new sourced quote MWright96 (talk) 19:01, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- The problem isn't so much this sentence—which now has a grammatical issue ("and slow pit stop under safety car conditions")—but the fact that the article treats the slow stop inconsistently. In "Race," it sounds like a big deal; the image caption even suggests that the 72-second pit stop was the reason for Barrichello finishing second. But then it turns out that Schumacher also had a 72-second pit stop, and then in "Post-race," we find out that this pit stop (if unfortunate) wasn't that big of a deal, because it happened while the safety car was out, so the lost time was minimized.
- Reworded the sentence MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
Fisichella immediately apologised to the Benetton team over the radio for missing his starting position that led to the start being aborted.
— "immediately" meaning right after he missed his position, or meaning immediately upon finishing the race? Also, were there any negative repercussions for the mistake besides embarrassment?- Have changed the wording of this section of text MWright96 (talk) 08:39, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
Overall
- MWright96, comments above. --Usernameunique (talk) 07:30, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
- MWright96, a few more comments above. --Usernameunique (talk) 18:47, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- Now passing. --Usernameunique (talk) 19:29, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- MWright96, a few more comments above. --Usernameunique (talk) 18:47, 6 April 2020 (UTC)