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Talk:2009 U.S. Open Cup final/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: -- BigDom 20:53, 27 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

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  • The first major query I have is why is this page called the 2009 U.S. Open Cup Final when the tournament article is called 2009 Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup. Should this article be called 2009 Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup Final?
I don't know what the point of not using the full tournament name in the title was. Moved. Chalk it up to my own carelessness. The talk page still shows a red link, but if you click it, it brings you here. Don't know how to purge the talk page.--SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Road to the final

Bits of this section are in the present tense for some reason. Examples:

  • "from the 2008 season qualify" ---> "from the 2008 season qualified"
  • "teams must play" ---> "teams had to play"
The reason for the tense being this way was because it was an attempt to communicate the rules that apply to MLS teams to enter the tournament. These rules are the same every year, so present tense was used. I've filled in the details of how MLS teams get into the tournament and clarified that they qualify directly for the 3rd round of the tournament (something alluded to in other prose, but never stated explicitly). Now the first paragraph is completely in present tense (stating things that are true every year), and the next paragraph is completely past tense (stating things that applied only to 2009). Let me know what you think of this. I'm happy to revert and just make the tweaks you suggested, but wanted to give this a try first. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The new text seems fine, it was just the mix of past and present tense that was the problem before. -- BigDom 18:46, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Sounders FC
  • "Later, on March 26, 2009" – the last sentence pertained to a match on April 28 so this must be a typo
Wrong date. It was May 26, not March. I've fixed it and added a "see also" link to the season article for double checking. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the Houston Dynamo lost 2–1 to Sounders FC at Starfire" – since this section is about Seattle, make them the subject e.g. "Sounders FC beat the Houston Dynamo 2–1 at Starfire"
Agreed. I've made the change. I also noticed I had not wikilinked Houston Dynamo, so I fixed that too.
D.C. United
  • "As they began play in the 2009 tournament, they set out to defend their 2008 title" – This sentence is unnecessary. They wouldn't set out to try and get beaten would they?
How about this instead: The club began its title defense in the MLS qualification rounds of the 2009 tournament. I just wanted to make it explicit that D.C. was defending their 2008 title. If it still seems unnecessary, I'll happily remove it. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The new sentence is a lot better. -- BigDom 18:46, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "they finally took the lead" – lose the word "finally"
Done. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Match
  • "On September 2, 2009 the U.S. Open Cup final was played in Washington D.C.'s RFK Stadium." ---> "The 2009 U.S. Open Cup Final was played on September 2 at RFK Stadium in Washington D.C."
Done. Excellent suggestion. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
First half
  • "but kicked it at D.C. goalkeeper Josh Wicks who parried the shot away." – this is a bit wordy. I would suggest "but D.C. goalkeeper parried the shot away". The fact that he parried it away is enough to imply that the shot was at the goalkeeper.
Done. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "7 minutes" ---> "Seven minutes"
Done. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "was barely kick saved by Wicks" – I follow soccer but have absolutely no idea what the phrase "kick saved" means
The term "kick save" (or "kick-save") is used in this reference and this reference. It basically means he saved it with his foot. I'm trying to think of another way to word this, but can't think of anything that isn't too wordy. --SkotyWA TC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Fair enough, I'm just not familiar with the term. -- BigDom 18:46, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "just before the half" ---> "just before halftime"
Done. I also removed "at halftime" from the end of the sentence. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "just barely" – these words mean the same so one of them can be dropped.
Removed barely since it was used earlier in the paragraph (with kick save). --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Second half
  • In the first sentence link to Fred
Done. Good catch. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "opportunity, however Pontius mishandled the shot" ---> "opportunity, but Pontius mishit the shot" ("mishandled" suggests that he used his hands and "however" should not be used in this context)
Done. Excellent suggestion. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Chicago was the first" ---> "Chicago Fire was the first"
Done. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Reaction
  • Perhaps give the name of the airport in Seattle
Nice. Done. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "March to the Match prior to the Sounders FC league match" – I'd use "game" in place of the second instance of "match" to avoid repetition
Done. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]


Quite an interesting article and one that I'd be happy to pass once the comments have been addressed. -- BigDom 20:53, 27 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for reviewing the article. I appreciate your time and effort in this process. I've gone through and attempted to address all of the comments and suggestions. Please have a look. --SkotyWATC 18:01, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
All the initial comments have been addressed well but I just have one more point: In the team line-ups D.C. United has a substitute leaving the field in the 81st minute but the substitute on in the 82nd minute. Surely they both happenned at the same time? -- BigDom 18:46, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Good catch. I've set them both to the 82nd minute. There were discrepancies in the match reports. --SkotyWATC 22:27, 28 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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