Talk:2015 Vattenfall Cyclassics/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Concertmusic (talk · contribs) 19:48, 23 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Opening statement

I am taking on this article for a GA review. I hope to get this review done by the end of the week, or possibly earlier if time permits. It may be done in stages, where I will post edits to this page with my signature and time stamp to indicate updates.

Generally, I will try to indicate a suggested edit by saying "I would", versus an edit that should be made, where I will say "please add" or the like. After reading through the article several times (and I always read it more than once before I ever agree to do a GA review), this article is an informative and enjoyable read, and I learned quite a bit already.

As I usually do, I will make detailed comments below, and will explain any high-level GA-specific points in the Assessment section. Also as usual, I will make numerous comments that may improve the article in my opinion, but are not strictly necessary to pass the GA review. Please feel free to take them or leave them. Anything that must be updated to meet the GA criteria will be highlighted as such.

Comments

General punctuation comment: I would add a few commas to perfect the punctuation of the article. I am happy to do that myself as part of this review - please just let me know if you are okay with that course of action. I will therefore not point out all instances of where commas are needed.

It would be very appreciated if you could do that. I am not a native speaker, and while I consider my English very good, where to put a comma is still often lost to me since the rules are a lot different from German, my mother tongue... Zwerg Nase (talk) 15:55, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

Reference correction: Reference 2 for the calendar at the top of the Infobox links to what looks like an empty calendar. You might have been looking for this link? [1] Please review and correct.

Done Replaced with different source, the UCI page does not seem to support archived links here unfortunately...

Wikilink request: Please wikilink "Palmares" using "Bicycling_terminology#P|Palmarès" - the casual reader will not understand and may want to check out this cycling-specific term.

No can do, that is an infobox parameter, which I cannot edit. Zwerg Nase (talk) 14:17, 27 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Wikilink request: 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: Please wikilink "classic" using "Classic cycle races" - again cycling jargon which the casual reader will not understand.

Done

Addition suggestion: 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: You could consider adding "northern" in front of Germany, just for that little bit of additional precision. I know that you provide the start and end cities, but if someone wonders where in Germany, and doesn't bother with checking out the wikilink for Hamburg, that could help.

Done

CE: 1st paragraph, 4th sentence: Please delete "the", as the sentence is better structured from a grammar perspective without that word: "The course was mainly flat; the race generally suits the sprinters..."

Done

Wikilink request: 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: Please wikilink "attack" using "Bicycling_terminology#A|attack" - jargon again.

Done Apparently, I can only link to the letter A, since the | in the link screws up the wikilink otherwise.

CE: 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: For cleaner reading, please replace "it" after the comma with something like "the outcome", as shown: "Despite several attacks in the late part of the race, the outcome was decided in a sprint finish."

Done

Wikilink request: 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: At the risk of overlinking, I would still suggest to wikilink "dropped" using "Bicycling_terminology#D|dropped" - jargon again.

Done

CE: 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: Please replace the semi-colon with a comma to correct punctuation.

Done

Route and background

Addition suggestion: 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: To make the unusual start more clear, I would add a couple of more words to describe the starting location, as shown: "...starting on board of the ferry MS Stena Scandinavicain the harbour of Kiel".

Done

CE: 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: "turning southwest" sounds like the detailed description of a short part of the race. I would therefore suggest to change the word "turning" to something like "heading in a southwesterly direction to Hamburg".

Done

Addition suggestion: 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence: I think that an explanation of how the longer distance is compared to the 2015 distance is needed, which could be accomplished with a simple addition, as shown: "The overall distance was shortened from the traditional course length of 247.2 kilometres (153.6 mi) to 221.3 kilometres (137.5 mi)."

Done No idea if the earlier distance was traditional, so I just added the previous year.

CE: Please delete "the" again in front of sprinters: "The course was largely flat, thereby suiting the sprinters."

Done

CE: Take off the "s" to make singular: "with a gradients" should be "gradient".

Done

Reference request: The direct quote from Roland Hofer needs to have Reference 6 directly after the closing quotation mark of the quote. Please correct.

Done

Paragraph break: I would break this long paragraph into two by splitting it after the quote from Hofer. That means that Reference 6 would be used again at the first sentence of the new 2nd paragraph, which is fine and necessary for the quoted "Renaissance" piece.

Done

CE: Please add something like "a number" or "a series" before setbacks, as shown - since it was not just one setback, but multiple setbacks: "rejuvenating the country's interest in the sport after a series of setbacks during the past..."

Done

CE: Sentence restructure as shown: "This was to be the last time the race would run under the name of Vattenfall Cyclassics, as Vattenfall announced that they would not extend their sponsorship."

Done

CE: Sentence restructure to clarify, as shown: "The event is now forced to search for a new sponsor to provide the estimated 800.000 Euro supplied by Vattenfall, about a third of the race's budget."

Done For now. I will need to keep an eye on this, if the race should find a new title sponsor in the future. For 2016, it runs without one, but I cannot find a source telling me where the money comes from. Probably Skoda, but I cannot be sure... Zwerg Nase (talk) 14:36, 27 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Teams

CE: 3rd sentence: Please replace "track" with "course", as track makes it sound like it a velodrome event.

Done

Pre-race favourites

Clarification suggestion: The team connection between Kittle and Degenkolb isn't clear - please see this suggestion: "Meanwhile, Kittel rode as captain for Giant–Alpecin, while the winner of the 2013 edition, John Degenkolb, went to compete for Giant–Alpecin in the Vuelta a España."

Done

Jargon question: "fast sprinting" is fairly clear, but still feels like jargon. How about just saying "his sprinter teammates", and possibly wikilinking "sprinter", using "Bicycling_terminology#S|Sprinter"? I am ok if you want to leave it as is, however: "He would race with the support of his fast sprinting teammates Nikias Arndt and Ramon Sinkeldam."

Done

CE: Please delete the "s" at the end of "hopes" and make it singular: "gave hope".

Done

Clarification suggestion: Renamed from what - adding the old name would clarify: "Since the event was renamed from HEW Cyclassics to Vattenfall Cyclassics in 2006..."

Done

CE: Clarification and typo - should it be "most likely" - otherwise you have to tell us the answer to the comparative "more likely than who": "Greipel was seen as the more likely contender..."

Done

Reference correction: Reference 4 needs to be right after the end quote in "disappointing Tour de France" as a direct quote - please correct.

Done

Report

Suggestion: Would "Race Report" be more clear than just "Report" for the section header?

Done

Wikilink request: 1st sentence: Please wikilink "peloton". You could also wikilink "breakaway" using "Bicycling_terminology#B|breakaway".

Done

Suggestion: I am not sure that "containing" is the best word - how about "including" - but if that is cycling terminology, please feel free to keep it.

Done

Suggestion: Would "caught" be better than "reached"? "the peloton had reached the escape group".

Done

Reference request: The first paragraph has no reference at all - and it needs one at least at the end of the paragraph. If you are using Reference 17 for that info, please place Reference 17 at the end of that first paragraph.

Done

Wikilink request: Please wikilink "sprint trains", using "Bicycling_terminology#T|sprint trains".

Done

Clarification request: Unless the reader is a knowledgeable cycling fan, they will not know that "Manx" refers to Cavendish - even though you just referenced him in the previous sentence, as they may think you have switched subjects to another rider. You could just use the name instead of Manx rider, or add Cavendish at the end of the phrase, as shown. Some clarification is needed, however: "the Manx rider Cavendish touched wheels".

Done

Wikilink request: Please wikilink "bunch sprint", using "Bicycling_terminology#B|bunch sprint".

Done

Summary

This is good work, and the above details some minor corrections and suggestions. A few reference corrections and grammar/CE corrections should do it. Please let me know if anything is unclear, and I look forward to working with you to get this to GA soon! Thank you! --Concertmusic (talk) 19:48, 23 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Concertmusic: Thank you very much for the thorough review! I think all is taken care of :) Zwerg Nase (talk) 14:54, 27 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Zwerg Nase: Thank you for the prompt response and action on my comments. Everything does indeed look great, and this article is deserving of GA status. Thank you again! --Concertmusic (talk) 23:24, 27 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Assessment

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "clear and concise", without spelling and grammar errors:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:

B. Cites reliable sources, where necessary:

C. No original research:

D. No copyright violations nor plagiarism:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused (see summary style):
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail: