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Talk:2017 Portland train attack/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 20:48, 25 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 20:48, 25 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'm copyediting as I go; please revert if I make any mistakes.

  • Not required for GA, but you may want to fix the deadlinks: see this report; this is also dead
  • Inline direct quotes such as "reveal a comic book collector with nebulous political affiliations who above all else seemed to hate circumcision and Hillary Clinton" and "their actions were brave and selfless, and should serve as an example and inspiration to us all" are best cited directly after the quote, though it's not an absolute requirement.
  • The lead is a bit short given the length of the article, per WP:LEADLENGTH; the article is about 16 kB, so two paragraphs would be about right.
  • Christian had made racial threats on another train, a day before the killings, threatened a conductor and hurled a bottle at a black woman who then maced him, as seen on videos taken by cell phone: this is a fairly complicated sequence to be punctuated only with commas. Can it be rephrased?
  • His former professor Kambiz GhaneaBassiri, who is an Associate Professor of Religion and Humanities at the College and author of A History of Islam in America: From the New World to the New World Order, said that his desire to see how others view the world made him stand out: suggest cutting this; it's not encyclopedic content.

-- That's everything I can find. The sources look good, and the prose is clean. I'll promote to GA once the minor issues above are corrected. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:29, 25 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Kamalthebest: Pinging you here, just in case. Been a while since this article was nominated... ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:31, 25 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

LeRoiDesRois: are you planning to work on this? I'll fail this if there's no response in another week. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:44, 4 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Mike Christie, the GOCE has just completed a copyedit, which included expanding the lead to two paragraphs. I'm not sure whether everything you listed has been addressed, so you might want to check, but I'm guessing that it's significantly closer to meeting the GA criteria. BlueMoonset (talk) 02:32, 8 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The GOCE edits addressed the main problems, so I'll go ahead and promote this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:51, 10 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.