Talk:4th Army (Kingdom of Yugoslavia)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 22:31, 29 May 2014 (UTC)

I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 22:31, 29 May 2014 (UTC)

• Clarify that the 1st Cav Div is in Army Group reserve
  • done.
• Of two regiments of the 42nd either "in two" or "Of the two"
  • done.
• Similarly, the 108th Infantry Regiment of the 40th Infantry Division Slavonska, which had mobilised in Bjelovar, was marching towards Virovitica to take up positions. On the night of 7/8 April, the Croats of the 108th Regiment revolted, arrested their Serb officers, non-commissioned officers and soldiers. The regiment then marched back to Bjelovar, where it joined up with other rebellious units about noon on 8 April This whole bit is kind of awkward. I'd suggest moving the second sentence first and then combining the first and third sentences as, otherwise, the regiment's activities immediately before the rebellion break the flow of the narrative. Not sure I'm really conveying what I mean, but see if I'm making any sense.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 13:04, 6 June 2014 (UTC)
  • Have reworded, could you check for clarity? Peacemaker67 (send... over) 05:34, 10 June 2014 (UTC)

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk)

• I'm not pointing out words that should probably be translated.
• "on 10 April, on the following day": I don't follow.
  • fixed. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 05:34, 10 June 2014 (UTC)
• I copyedited the article per my copyediting disclaimer. These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 02:09, 7 June 2014 (UTC)
• It looks like VisualEditor may have screwed up some of the references; I didn't touch those. Or, maybe the changes don't matter, I'm not sure. - Dank (push to talk) 02:15, 7 June 2014 (UTC)

No, it all looks ok to me, Dan. thanks! Peacemaker67 (send... over) 09:21, 10 June 2014 (UTC)

Sure thing. - Dank (push to talk) 10:53, 10 June 2014 (UTC)

• No DABs, external links good.
• Images appropriately licensed. Good to go.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 21:48, 10 June 2014 (UTC)