Talk:Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Slingshot/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: TheJoebro64 (talk · contribs) 03:14, 17 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

JOE BRO 64 03:14, 17 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

or simply Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Slingshot Can this be omitted? IMO it's obvious enough
Since the "Marvel's" is part of the official name, that's why we use that first, and then the "simply" formatting to indicate the WP:COMMONNAME. All of the MCU television series are like this. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 22:45, 17 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The "digital" in the first sentence of the second paragraph is unnecessary here, we know you're talking about Slingshot.
Removed - Favre1fan93 (talk) 22:45, 17 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Natalia Cordova-Buckley reprises her role from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., having been cast in the role in February 2016, with Clark Gregg, Chloe Bennet, Jason O'Mara, Ming-Na Wen, Iain De Caestecker, Elizabeth Henstridge and Henry Simmons also appearing in their Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. roles. This sentence is a bit of a mouthful and reads kinda awkwardly (it doesn't make sense to separate Cordova-Buckley from the rest of the cast or say when she was cast, and the two Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is distracting). I'd simplify to something like Natalia Cordova-Buckley, Clark Gregg, Chloe Bennet, Jason O'Mara, Ming-Na Wen, Iain De Caestecker, Elizabeth Henstridge and Henry Simmons reprise their roles from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., if you think that's an improvement.
I've adjusted, something similar to what you've suggested, but still highlighting Cordova-Buckley since she portrays Yo-Yo. Let me know what you think. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 22:45, 17 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Slingshot was first revealed... The "first" is unnecessary, it can't be revealed a second time
Removed. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 22:45, 17 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
...at the end of the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episode "The Laws of Inferno Dynamics", with members of the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. production team also working on the series. Again, the two Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.s in one sentence is distracting, and what series you're referring to at the end is ambiguous. I'd rephrase to something like ...at the end of the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. episode "The Laws of Inferno Dynamics", with members of that series' production team also working on the digital one.
Done. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 22:45, 17 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
It received positive critical response I'd add an "a" before "positive critical response"
Done. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 22:45, 17 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Cast and characters

S.H.I.E.L.D. should be linked at first mention, now it's linked at the third mention.
Whoops, done. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 03:26, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Like the lead, I'd spell out what "S.H.I.E.L.D." means
Added. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 03:26, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
No other comments here, pretty well-written.

Episodes

My only comment here is to recommend unlinking characters who are linked in the cast and characters section per WP:OVERLINK
I think because it is technically a table, the linking is okay. It'd be the same thing with a film plot, linking characters there and then in the cast list. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 03:26, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Production

Why is digital series in quotation marks?
Not sure now, but removed. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 03:26, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
All the cast/the characters they play could be unlinked here since they're linked previously
Done. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 03:26, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Unlink Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. in the casting section
Done. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 03:26, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Is the casting section completely necessary? I feel like most of it could just be integrated into the cast and characters section by noting if the actor is reprising their role, and Cordova-Buckley's casting could be recast (no pun intended) as the first sentence of the development section
I see what you're saying, but the approach by the editors who work a lot on these MCU-related is to not really include that info in the cast section, hence the casting section. Adamstom.97 do you have a though on this? - Favre1fan93 (talk) 03:26, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I think it is good to have the separate listings in the production section. If we need a compromise, the wording could probably be cut down and merged with the development section. Just a thought. - adamstom97 (talk) 05:14, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
OK. This is really minor and I don't think it'll prevent me from passing this (looks good for the most part), it was just something I wanted to take note of. JOE BRO 64 23:04, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
If you're okay with it, then we'll leave it as its. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 04:22, 21 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Are there dates for when filming took place?
Nothing was every stated concretely as to when the filming happened. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 03:26, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Titles#Major works: "Online magazines, newspapers, and news sites with original content should generally be italicized"
Done. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 03:26, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I feel like a few of the quotes could be paraphrased (e.g. "a cool premise" that "builds off characters we already know and gives the ones less utilized a little more action." → "a cool premise" that built off established Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. characters and expanded on those used less.)
I've done the example you've noted, plus some more adjustments. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 03:26, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

References

ComingSoon.net, Syfy Wire, IGN, Screen Rant, ComicBook.com, Newsarama, and Geek Exchange should be italicized.
Fixed. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 04:22, 21 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Link to Screen Rant in ref 11
Linked. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 04:22, 21 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Just wanted to double-check that ScreenCrush is considered reliable? I think it looks like it is but don't know much about TV sources, so just asking
Yes it is. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 04:22, 21 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]
This is minor and doesn't need to be resolved now, but I recommend adding archive urls the refs that don't have them now (e.g. #26), because many websites are disappearing all over the place nowadays.
Everything outside of videos are archived (those can't be). I've completely replaced #26 as the Emmy site took down the full list. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 04:22, 21 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Nice article. JOE BRO 64 23:15, 20 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Everything above has been addressed! - Favre1fan93 (talk) 04:22, 21 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

OK looks cool. Passing JOE BRO 64 18:30, 21 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]