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Talk:Aid climbing/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Nominator: Aszx5000 (talk · contribs) 23:31, 20 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 04:25, 23 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]


Oo this looks interesting! Will review within this month. Template:LunaEatsTunaSig (talk), posted at 04:25, 23 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Well that was a lie – sorry. I am going to start the review by tonight though, now that I have the free time. ❧ LunaEatsTuna (talk), writing articles since 2017 – posted at 20:44, 5 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Ga review
  • This article switches between metre and meter, make sure to use one for consistency.
 Done. It is written in British English, but some of the American quotes have "meter", but I have changed them for consistency.
  • There is no need for the bullet points in the § Equipment or § Techniques sections; they can easily be converted into paragraphs without hindering readability. They do make a lot of sense in § Grading though.
What you say makes sense, although I did it to try and make these 'technical' sections easier to navigate (i.e. you knew what each paragraph meant as it was a bullet with a label)? However, if you think it does not help, I can change it to paragraphs. Aszx5000 (talk) 17:16, 8 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Aszx5000: Well, I think it just looks a bit non-standard. I am pretty sure we generally reserve bullet point lists only for short listings of items, i.e. WP:BULLETLIST says "they are not appropriate for large paragraphs". I really like your reasoning though, but I reckon it will not be too technically challenging for most who make it that far, given your writing style is really helpful and makes things easy to understand for non-climbing experts. :) ❧ LunaEatsTuna (talk), proudly editing since 2018 (and just editing since 2017) – posted at 23:01, 10 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hi @LunaEatsTuna, I have only just seen this now! I wonder given that each of these bullet points have a 'heading' (e.g. 'Fixed placement equipment'), should they be sub-sections? Would that be more natural? Sorry for being a pain about this, but I have other articles that use this format for the 'equipment' and 'techniques' sections (e.g. Big wall climbing). thanks. Aszx5000 (talk) 08:55, 17 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Aszx5000: Why not try it and see how it looks? :3 ❧ LunaEatsTuna (talk), proudly editing since 2018 (and just editing since 2017) – posted at 22:31, 17 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Description
  • "Traditional aid climbing" no need for the quotation marks.
 Done
  • Same for "Clean aid climbing" (and its many instances).
 Done, except if left 'clean aid climbing' on its first mention to note that it is a term?
  • "which the second removed as they followed after the lead climber" – confusing sentence.
 Done changed to ";these are then removed by the second climber as they make their own ascent."
  • I would rephrase ""Clean aid climbing" avoids" to something like "This method avoids" to avoid repetition with the previous sentence.
 Done changed to "This method therefore avoids"
  • "and has been advocated by some as" – would just do "and has been advocated as" since mentioning some seems unnecessary.
 Done
  • Recommend changing "world-famous" to "renown" or similar to sound less sensationalised.
 Done
History
  • "axles of the Ford cars" > "axles of Ford cars". Also:
  • Wikilink Ford to Ford Motor Company.
 Done both changes
  • "in big wall aid climbing, with the" – the comma is not necessary here. But:
  • I would add a comma to "in one section, he drilled" but this is more optional.
 Done both changes
  • "Reinhold Messner wrote a now famous" > "Reinhold Messner wrote a now-famous"
 Done
Equipment

Low-key I have no concerns with this section.

Techniques
  • "into which they will attach aiders and ascend" > "into which they attach aiders and ascend" to simplify a bit.
 Done
  • "easier with the passage of time (as later teams could use the fixed placements of earlier teams)" > recommend "easier over time as later teams could use the fixed placements of earlier teams." :)
 Done used "can" instead of "could"
  • Is there a reason ""tenuous"" (lol) has quotation marks?
 Done agreed :)
  • The section explaining the process of "Using aiders" will look better split into two (or perhaps more) sentences instead of one long one.
 Done agreed, I have re-worded this so hopefully it is clearer?
  • IMO the sentence beginning with "Unlike free climbers, aid climbers "weight" all their placements" is not really necessary. Also:
  • The rest of the section is a bit confusing for me (maybe I am just being dumb here, but compared to the rest of the fantastic article I find this one harder to grasp). Could you simplify/change around the wording a bit?
 Done agreed for both, and I have re-worded this so hopefully it is more straightforward to read
  • "This is in contrast to traditional climbing where the second (or belayer)" > remove "or belayer" since it is already mentioned earlier.
 Done used "the second climber"?
That looks great! ❧ LunaEatsTuna (talk), proudly editing since 2018 (and just editing since 2017) – posted at 22:32, 17 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Grading

More to come

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