Talk:Apartment Life/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 09:03, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

by American band Ivy. It was released → by American band Ivy, released (I suggest doing it this way as you open the article with three very short and clipped sentences)
Realistic (1995) → You have already mentioned the record's release year before, so you can remove this
forms of production created from keyboards → forms of production consisting of keyboards
also took place in 1999 → also took place in the same year

Infobox

Flawless ;)

Background and develoment

Dominique Durand met each other → I don't think "each other" is necessary here
Release year of "Get Enough" in brackets
which was well received by the public → you need a reference for this; just use the ones you have in the article for "Get Enough" for its critical reception
he had established a relationship with Atlantic Records → I would clarify that it was a "business relationship"
sign with them who → comma before "who"
much like they had been from Seed Records after the release of Realistic in 1995 → I would just remove this as you are repeating yourself with what you already wrote in the first paragraph.
Ivy signed to 550 Music who reissued Apartment Life → I would replace "Apartment Life" with "the album", as you have already mentioned its name two times in a row
During this same time → "same" is just superfluous and can be removed

Music and songs

Apartment Life served as a musical departure and improvement from the material found on their previous efforts → I would add that music critics thought that, as it is subjective whether something is an improvement or not
described the album as a collection as a step up → ??
present in the production from brass → present in the production, consisting of brass
the album contains influence from → the album contains influences of
the music by American band Pixies → the music of American band Pixies
Peter Nashel receive credits as co-writers of the track → Peter Nashel received credits as co-writers on the track
The rest of the section is very well-written and comprehensive

Promotion

Prior to the scheduled release date for Apartment Life → Prior to the scheduled release date of Apartment Life
It was during this time that Ivy's → replace "Ivy's" with "the group's" to avoid repetation
Billboard announced that a music video for "The Best Thing" would complete filming and production by the end of the same month → Billboard announced that a the filming and production of a music video for "The Best Thing" would be completed by the end of the same month
was released on CD on October 7 → I would still add the year of release for clarity
included a cameo appearance from Iha → please link to James Iha here
I would connect the last paragraph with the others, as it seems a little strange to have such a short para

Critical reception

You need an opneing sentence such as "Critics received the album with generally positive reviews following its release"
He declared that Apartment Life is → He declared that Apartment Life was
felt that the album displaying Ivy's strengths → felt that the album displayed Ivy's strengths
Robbins, also a columnist for Rolling Stone, → remove "also"
Release year for Nimrod in brackets
the album constantly was ranked → the album was constantly ranked

Track listing

Flawless ;)

Credits and personnel

What is "legal" supposed to mean?

Other stuff

Copy-violation

16.7% is very acceptable!

References

As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article

Outcome

Very good work on this! I put the article On hold for 7 days to allow your edits. Congrats on all your thorough work on Ivy!! Best regards; Cartoon network freak (talk) 15:40, 4 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Cartoon network freak – Thanks as usual. I addressed your changes (and I assume "legal" refers to the person who handled any legal work with the record label; in the liner notes, he is only credited with "legal"). Thanks again, Carbrera (talk) 20:18, 4 January 2018 (UTC).[reply]

Happy to pass this! Congrats; Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:46, 4 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.