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Talk:Asafo Aumua/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 23:36, 31 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Hi Kidsoljah! If you are still interested in this, I will review it. I usually start out with a quick copyedit and then go from there. I will add my comments below and then notify you when I have completed my review. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:36, 31 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Copyedit
Prose & MOS
  • Please explain what XV in the first paragraph of the lead. Either use the {{Abbr}} template or expand it.
  • Link Try in the first use in the lead and the first use in the body of the article.
  • "Other than hooker, he played second five-eighth, prop, and number 8 at first XV level." - I would reword to something like "He primarily player hooker, but also played second five-eighth, prop, and number 8 at first XV level" since its the first time you mention playing hooker outside of the lead.
  • Clarify what "try of the match" means.
  • "World Rugby Under 20 Championships in Manchester, June 2016" - add "in" between "Manchester" and "June 2016"
  • Clarify what the term "decider" means.
  • Link hat-trick to Hat-trick#Rugby_football in the first use.
  • Clarify who the "unions" are in the sentence "Representing the unions under-19 team in Taupo" - its the first time you use the team name. Should it be capitalized?
  • "and was subsequently renamed in the squad" - add "he" after "and"
  • "His scoring ability became noticed after" - reword to "His scoring ability was noted after"
  • Use the {{convert}} template for 60-meter (to yards).
  • "Aumua was surprisingly called up" - remove "surprisingly" as it is a WP:WEASEL word.
  • Link Test match (rugby league) in its first use
  • "Aumua's rehabilitation period was scheduled to be 12 weeks." - this is probably too much info for now, per WP:WEIGHT « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:29, 1 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Images
References
  • Reference 4 needs to include the author, Liam Hyslop
  • Reference 5 needs to include the author, Hamish Bidwell
  • Reference 6 needs to include the author, Adam Julian
  • Reference 7 needs to include the authors, Adam Julian & Steven White
  • Reference 8 needs to include the authors, Adam Julian & Steven White
  • Reference 10 needs to include the author, Nic Darvineza
  • Reference 12 needs to include the author, admin_hland
  • Reference 13 needs to include the author, Campbell Burnes
  • Please just check the rest of the references to see if an author is listed and include it in the citation
  • All the rest of the references look good and are reliable « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:29, 1 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Overall
  • Since this article is on a current player, please be careful as his career progresses to not give WP:UNDUE weight to current events. Some of the info in the professional summary section is borderline too much info. It's not a problem now, but may be in a few years.
  • Overall a very solid article, just the items noted above. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:29, 1 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Hi there, Gonzo fan2007. Thank you for your review, I've completed your list below to the best I can. Hope to hear your response soon. Cheers Kidsoljah (talk) 08:57, 3 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Kidsoljah. Everything looks good except some references still need the author. #15, 16, 17, 26 and 28. Reference 23 needs |agency = [[Associated Press]]. Let me know when you make those changes and everything else should be good to go. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:09, 3 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Gonzo fan2007 all done. Let me know if there's anthing. Kidsoljah (talk) 02:58, 5 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Everything looks good. Passed! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 04:13, 5 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]