Talk:Baer's pochard/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MeegsC (talk · contribs) 12:58, 24 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a look at this one. It may take me a few days to get my first-pass comments up. MeegsC (talk) 12:58, 24 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]

A few starting comments:

The lede is far too short. There is no mention of the bird's description, for instance, and no mention of what it eats or anything about its breeding ecology. The lede should be a summary of the article's main points.
There should be no contractions, per WP:MOS. All instances of "it's" should be replaced by "it is", for example.
Captions should only have periods at the end if they're a complete sentence. And most of captions in the article aren't complete sentences.
The article could use a good copy-editing. There are a number of typos (i.e. "middel") and some very convoluted sentences.

Interaccoonale, how are you doing on this? It's been a week, and I haven't seen much movement yet. I'm reluctant to spend a lot of time and effort if it's not going to lead to improvements! MeegsC (talk) 14:36, 2 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I have fixed the revised the last three questions. I will expand the introduction in the next few days. Thank you for your comments. ——🦝 The Interaccoonale ^{Will be the raccoon race}_{(talk・contribs)} 15:00, 2 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I think most issues have been resolved. Can you re-review it? ——🦝 The Interaccoonale ^{Will be the raccoon race}_{(talk・contribs)} 14:35, 10 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for letting me know, Interaccoonale. I'll have another look! MeegsC (talk) 18:08, 10 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Interaccoonale. Please ~~strike out~~, check Done or otherwise indicate when you've dealt with each of this.

You're on the right track with the lede, but there's a bit more to do. You should give a general description of the bird; you've just described the male's head and neck and a few things that make it different from the ferruginous duck (which looks quite different, according to its article!) How about the rest of its body? And is the female the same?
Gloss "resident". You can use {{birdgloss|resident}} to do that.
"It is a resident bird in North and Central China, formerly bred in southeast Russia and Northeast China, migrating in winter to southern China, Vietnam, Japan, and India." This sentence makes no sense. Should there be an "and" before formerly? And presumably it was only those former breeders that migrated, if the birds in northern and central China are resident?
Greater scaup also have a green gloss on their head, so the sentence here and in the description saying "The green gloss on its head is unique among Aythya" is not correct!
Don't start sentences with "and" or "but"; that's too informal for an encyclopedia. Use "however" in place of but. Leave "and" off entirely.

A note about your book references: All of them need more information. They should have page numbers indicating where the information came from (i.e. don't make the reader read the whole book trying to find the information you've referenced to it) and each should include a publisher, publisher location and ISBN number (where available).

Taxonomy

"It was once commonly considered that Baer's pochard may have originated from the eastern population of the ferruginous duck, but American ornithologist Paul Johnsgard proposed it is not supported by the behavior, which suggested Baer's pochard is closer to the hardhead." Ths is another unclear sentence. It needs reworking. Perhaps

"While the species was long thought to have arisen from eastern populations of the ferruginous duck, American ornithologist Paul Johnsgard says its [feeding? breeding? various? need something more specific here] behaviors suggest it may instead be more closely related to the hardhead." with the Johnsgard reference at the end of the sentence.

Ref 6 does not lead to a useable reference; it's just an abstract about the chapter.
In paragraph two, subgenus should not be capitalized. Also, were Livezey's views widely adopted? Or were there other classifications that put Baer's pochard elsewhere? If so, they should be mentioned as well.
The wikilinks for the blue wall of text "phylogenetic study based on morphological data" need to be better chosen.
Paragraph three is complete gobbledygook. What does it mean? Translate it for readers who aren't molecular scientists! :)

More tomorrow; it's getting late here! MeegsC (talk) 22:16, 22 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Interaccoonale, how are you coming on this? Will you have a chance soon to make these improvements? MeegsC (talk) 23:07, 21 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Interaccoonale, given that you've made no improvements to this article in more than a month, I'm assuming that you no longer have time to work on it. If you come back to it someday, I'd be happy to continue a review! MeegsC (talk) 14:07, 26 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, I am very busy in real life recently. Sorry for the late reply. You can feel free to close this nomination if necessary. ——🦝 The Interaccoonale ^{Will be the raccoon race}_{(talk・contribs)} 14:13, 26 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]